To think you get less respect if you are fat

[Jojobears]

I’m currently fat (16/18), but have been slim previously.

I don’t know if it’s just my self esteem levels, but I really feel that I have less respect from people when I’m fat. Although I could be imagining it.

So, can I ask, do you treat people with less respect if they are fat.

Ps I’m not a daily fail journo. Heaven forbid they employ anyone with a house worth less than 500k

Dunno tbh. I'm the same size as you and don't class myself as far, I'm bigger than I should be but not fat. I don't feel like I'm treated any differently to when I was a size 10

Yes. You also get less respect the shorter, older and uglier you are! We are not an equal society.

@Marilynmansonsthermos wow that is shocking.

I'm an 18/20. Been smaller in my time and tbh I've got bigger priorities to deal with right now. My job is physical and I do find that a lot of people assume I can lift and move big things on my own now because of my size, rather than offering help when I was slimmer. I'm not stronger because I've put a dress size or two on, I can still lift/do what I always could but am finding that declining due to my age and a couple of fairly recent injuries rather than anything else but cries of "You're a big girl, you'll manage that!" When something that clearly needs 2 people to move safely never happened when I was smaller. I do then feel judged for asking for help, for being lazy, rather than it's just too big/heavy for anyone of any size to move safely on their own. Don't know if that's just my perception though.

Size 16 is normal now (median fatness). Is OP saying that only the 25% of women at size 12 & below get respect?

Hahaha I'm here to tell you a story.

I was at a wedding yesterday as a bridesmaid, I was stood with the bride, and the other bridesmaids. I'm a size 12, brideamaks B, C and D are sizes, 18, 16 and 10.

We was stood talking when a (very large) man called out "who's the skinny one?" Pointing at bridesmaid D(size 10).

I've never been so offended in my entire life. Ive always been ok with my body, I know I'm not thin, but I'm definitely not fat!

Noone else seemed offended by it but I suddenly felt like people see me as fat and now my confidence is gone.

So yes, I and my friends were disrespected in favour of a thinner person.

Ouch.

I definitely noticed a difference when I was overweight (size 20 Vs size 12 now). I can't really explain it, and maybe it was as I wasn't as confident and it came across that I looked unapproachable or something, but even regarding things like people saying please and thank you, people never bothered when I was larger.

I've never been so offended in my entire life. Ive always been ok with my body, I know I'm not thin, but I'm definitely not fat!

ahem why?
No one called you fat, but a size 12 is not remotely "skinny". What's so offensive about that?

The size 10 bridesmaid (which is not a skinny size either let's be honest) should be the one being offended to be called out like that. That was rude.

Totally agree OP. Its that fleeting body check and the glance away. Never happened when I slim.

I genuinely believe that some people think they can catch fat.

He was a twat @that25c thats for sure But he was putting who he is out there So can be easily avoided by ppl

Much harder to avoid someone who doesnt say anything to your face but posts snide stuff online like size 10 isnt skinny

So what is in your view?

HelenaDove
I haven't got the faintest idea what you are on about

I personally think it’s the confidence thing

I think it depends on everyone involved! I personally, would only ever respect someone who deserved my respect, regardless of size or anything else.

However, up until a couple of years ago I spent most of my adult life pushing obese. Got ill and lost a tonne of weight (And the amount of people who praise you for weight loss even when they know it's because you're very ill baffles me, like being slim is the ultimate trophy) when I was bigger, I found I got more respect from men, they would speak to me like a person, any compliments, sincere etc. At a size 8 most men speak to me like I'm a sex doll (not all of course, but certainly enough to generalise comfortably) but i can honestly say I have never noticed women treating me differently at a size 8, 18 or anything inbetween.

So much of it is your own perception of self, as a pp mentioned. Don't worry about what size your pants are, just be a person who deserves respect, and those who matter will respect you. Simple! As my old nanna used to say, those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind.

I’ve noticed on a few threads this week that if someone is obese they are perceived to be common. And classy people are thin.

Lljk I honestly feel that when I was slimmer, I was generally treated better. But that’s my own perception. I found it easier to make friends etc

As someone who’s been a size 8 and a size 20, people were definitely nicer/more respectful/more helpful/more forgiving/had more time for me when I was slimmer

So many people are reporting on obesity being a crisis and how its just pure consumption that I think overweight or obese people are seen as lazy, with a lack of self control and greedy so it’s easy to see why slimmer people would find people to be nicer to them.

I’m back to a size 12 and the niceness and respect has definitely returned as I’ve become smaller

She may have been vegetarian jacelancs rather than meaning the calories you were consuming, just a thought

I've realised different levels of respect.
People were genuinely much nicer when I was smaller, and when I was smaller I was a much less kind.

www.forbes.com/sites/freekvermeulen/2011/03/22/the-price-of-obesity-how-your-salary-depends-on-your-weight/

Damn clicky link didn't work. But a study was done that showed the more obese you are the less salary you earned on average.

www.forbes.com/sites/freekvermeulen/2011/03/22/the-price-of-obesity-how-your-salary-depends-on-your-weight/

Yes, prejudice against fat people is deeply rooted (especially in Protestant societies) as it is ‘evident to all’, that the fat person is unable to exercise self-control and is ‘clearly’ gluttonous and a sloth, both of those carnal sins. Don’t underestimate the deeper societal culture, it is all-pervasive and very difficult/slow to change.

There were times (of scarcity) when to be ‘of fuller figure’ was considered beautiful and brimming with health - Rubens’ ladies portraits anyone?

But these ideas have long gone, superseded by Protestant virtues of hard work and self-restraint. If one’s fat, they ‘obviously’ don’t work themselves too hard and their restraint, well, we can see that.

And of course, it is most unfair as one’s propensity to put on weight is not to do with their personal failings, but their genetic make-up (which the person didn’t choose). Obesity is largely hormonally driven and is a consequence of several health conditions (which the person didn’t choose to develop). It will do everybody well to remember that next time they see a fat person and have an impulse to judge them.

Yes I think so for sure if you're a woman. Sexism and ingrained sexism. If you have short hair you'll get more disrespect too. It's because you don't fit in to the nice petite 'healthy' sexy feminine mould (in the eyes of a misogynist society) but FUUUUCK THAT. We know we can be all of those things and even if we are not or don't want to be we are just as worthy as respect and we don't have to fit into anyone's boxes for it! ✊

I treat everyone with the same respect, unless of course they are an asshole. Personality is key for me, it doesn’t matter if your big, small, fat thin, gay, lesbian, straight. If you have a shit personality then no chance for respect from me.