To believe it is hypocritical to support and use porn as long as it's only made by other people's children?

[StephanieSJW]

I am shocked and dismayed how much porn has become normalised in our society. I am even more saddened by how many "cool feminists" think it is just a bit of harmless fun.

Too many people (even cool mums on Mumsnet) seem to see porn as a convenience to be enjoyed at their will at the click of mouse or swipe of their screen. However they clutch their pearls in horror if you ask them Would you be happy if your daughter were to become a porn star?

@that25cUKHeatwaveof2019
You have completely misunderstood my post. Everybody wants the best for the children. I highlighting the hypocrisy of saying "I happily watch porn but I'd be incandescent with rage if my darling Perdita Snowdrop were to be on Slutload"

It's the expectation of privilege, entitlement nd condescension that I am calling out.

The expectation that someone else's child should do something that I would never dream of for my own.

When I found out that a very high proportion of women in the adult industry have been sexually abused as children it put me right off porn.

@StephanieSJW hahaha how triggered are you?! You’ve no idea who I am or what I do but feel free to spout ‘privilege’ and try to claim the moral high ground.

You made me laugh so hard I think I peed a little

The expectation that someone else's child should do something that I would never dream of for my own.

weird comment
First everybody is someone else's child (apart from the 2 or 3 that are your own possibly) that doesn't bring people in a different light.

There's a lot of things I believe my kids shouldn't do, but I expect someone to do, so what? One way or another, we all think that.

Those of you who are ok with your daughter ending up working in porn, or in the wider prostitution of women:

A question: the vast majority of girls and women worldwide who are prostituted are being exploited, abused, trafficked. Are you ok with this happening to your child?

How do you know they are ALL children? How do you know what we watch.
You are very invested in this subject, are you still worried about your dh?
You were asked on the other thread.
Do you want us all to tell you we don't agree with you again.

@Manclife1

You’ve no idea who I am or what I do but feel free to spout ‘privilege’

By your own admission, you are type of person who looks down at people who work in McDonald's.

I think I peed a little

You can get special garments for that.

@StephanieSJW when did I say I looked down on people who worked at McDonalds? I didn’t because I don’t.

I’ve worked in kitchens before and it’s absolutely shite, that’s why I don’t want my child to work there. But well done for jumping to conclusions and making a dick of yourself.

So does that mean none of us should do anything in life that our parents might not agree with? I'd have been disowned by now if that were the case. Surely what your daughter (or son) does with their body once they're an adult is actually none of your business. You don't have some weird ownership over them just because you gave birth to them more than 18 years ago

Even your name suggest you get triggered WAY to easily.

Agree with you OP.

So we agree that some women in porn are trafficked/coerced. You can't tell who just by watching. So why would you take the risk that you could be jerking off to a rape victim?

@Gooseygoosey12345

So does that mean none of us should do anything in life that our parents might not agree with

The question was aimed at parents.
If you see no harm in viewing/ watching, aren't you being hypocritical if you would not want your own daughter to be a performer in that industry. Why do you see yourself as entitled to watch someone else's daughter?

@BadLad
This is interesting
I suppose I'm hypocritical in watching nature shows like Australia's deadliest snakes, and watching the presenters let snakes lick them and crocodiles walk over them. Obviously it's extremely dangerous, and that is a large part of the thrill of the programme. But the danger means that I wouldn't want my children to do it, in case they end up like the late Steve Irwin

How many nature presenters do you know of that are "encouraged" (at best) or cajoled, co-erced, manipulated or forced by men to become wildlife presenters.

I know the cool feminists will now launch into a tirade of telling me that going into making porn is a wonderfully empowering choice made by independent women without any pressure from anyone and that we should all rejoice in this freedom.

Cool feminists as an insult is so hilarious, women supporting women until they disagree with my principles!

Who needs the patriarchy.

@MonnieMoo
Can you stop using the word child in relation to porn please? Everyone is someone’s child, but at a point they become an adult and presumably it is adults making porn that you’re talking about.

Would that desensitize it for you? I guess it makes it easier for porn-users they are watching as nothing more than a piece of meat there for the viewer's pleasure.

I want to remind people that the performers in the porn industry are human beings. A mother carried them in their womb for 9 months, gave birth to them, hopefully nurtured and looked after them , comforted them when they were sick, encouraged them when they were insecure, supported their dreams...

I agree it is unpleasant and misleading to use the world child to describe adult women choosing to work in the sex industry. We all know that some of these adults don't have a huge range of options, but unless you are taking about paedophilia, or enslavement, I think you are bending a point to suit your argument.

Also, the argument "would you be happy with your daughter doing xxxxx" normalises and legitimises the idea that you should control what your adult children do, which is a far more pervasive form of control affecting far more people than the women who are coerced to work in the sex industry.

The total dismissal in this thread of girls and women who are abused, coerced or trafficked into sexually exploitative situations is sickening.

There is a lot of (and I paraphrase multiple posts) “some women are but...”

That is simply not acceptable. ONE woman is too many. And it’s far, far more than that.

Of course there is cognitive dissonance going on when people watch porn .

Nobody knows how a particular “actress” has internalised abuse due to her background or has been trafficked. The point is, YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW. Even if it’s only 1% of women, is that not enough to make you want to stop clicking and reinforcing the popularity of the sites?

Apart from the acting, the language used in video titles and headers is about as misogynistic as it gets. People who mansgr to gloss over this fact - would you be happy navigating and clicking your way around a site where racist descriptions were every heading and all over the place? Or homophonic? If not, ask yourself what is the difference? Why is vile, derogatory language ok when it’s women, but not ok when it’s any other demographic? Why? Please explain the difference.

Finally, porn is utterly crap. Seedy rooms, unattractive haggard-looking “actors”, cringe “plot lines” - it’s like scraping the bottom of the cesspit of humanity, it really is. That’s my most favourable description. I wouid also describe much of it as deeply disturbing.

Do these “actors” when they get their “scripts” ever find it withjon themselves to think - “Er no, maybe I won’t make this little scene about forced anal / rape / incest / choking / physical abuse - WHAT WITH SUCH SCENES BEING A DAILY REALITY FOR MILLIONS OF WOMEN AND GIRLS AROUND THE WORLD.”

Porn as “entertainment” is like the ultimate insult to any woman or child who has ever been abused.

So yes, massive. cognitivec dissonance going on on so many levels and hypocrisy in the extreme. You wonder how disappointing people’s real sex lives must be that they need this shit to get off.

YANBU

Honestly @StephanieSJW, @Manclife1's argument sums up my opinion perfectly.

I wouldn't want my child to work in McDonald's (past a certain age), but I also wouldn't want them to become a dustbinman, policeman or even an Uber driver.

I recognise the importance these roles have in our society but I wouldn't want my child doing them for various reasons. It isn't hypocritical to feel that way.

With respect to the content itself, there are various types of porn, professional, semi-professional and 'amateur' (sex tapes). It's very easy to tell which participants are there because they want to be and those that are not very willing. There's no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, it's very possible to go after the trafficked and exploited women and their production companies without harming the legitimate ones.

It takes all kinds to make the world go round. My daughter can do what she wants with her body as long as it's totally of her free will. I will NEVER hold the fact that I gave birth to her over her like some guilt trip. If that's what she wants to do it's her life to do with as she pleases, not mine