To believe it is hypocritical to support and use porn as long as it's only made by other people's children?

[StephanieSJW]

I am shocked and dismayed how much porn has become normalised in our society. I am even more saddened by how many "cool feminists" think it is just a bit of harmless fun.

Too many people (even cool mums on Mumsnet) seem to see porn as a convenience to be enjoyed at their will at the click of mouse or swipe of their screen. However they clutch their pearls in horror if you ask them Would you be happy if your daughter were to become a porn star?

Well, we all like different things. If people want to watch your nan loving it, who are we to stop them?

There was not a single person in the world who disliked my lovely half-Welsh grandma. She could have starred in a porn film in the morning and then spent the afternoon charming the different sides of Brexit to come to an amicable solution.

Miss her very much.

BadLad

Awww. I’m sure she would have rocked porn.

OP I agree with you, extending to the same question if it were your son. In the digital world we live in, nothing disappears as well, so someone could be 'self-pleasuring' over your daughter or son many years after they were filmed.

She was arrested in 1941 for blackout offences. She put the light on, to change my uncles nappy.

I'm now wondering if it was a red light, and there was soft, sensual music playing. On the gramophone,

Yanbu

Plenty of porn suggests family relationships eg dad daughter so I'd imagine that the men that watch that, at least, would be very keen.

Maybe not plenty,

But it's a thing

Agree with you, OP. I also think that porn is harmful to society as a whole, not just to the people that make it.

I know we’re all different, but I never quite believe the super-cool ‘once my kid’s an adult, I’m happy with all their decisions’ brigade. You often see it on MN. ‘My daughter’s working webcams and I think she might be addicted to heroin.’ ‘Chill our OP, she’s an adult, she can make her own decisions.’

I just don’t think any normal parent would react like that in real life.

And I agree OP. I’d be devastated if my hypothetical daughter (I don’t have one) worked in the porn industry.

All the people saying, "but what about your son ?" you do realize that the vast majority of mainstream porn involves women being degraded, not men.

To take a slightly different example, regardless of how un-PC this is, do you really think male/ female strippers have the same experience ?

I'm not sure about banning porn completely, but their is a lot of degrading stuff that should be banned, ( like the dad/ daughter style video's mentioned up thread).

@BadLad

I don't think that kind of relationship IS against the law!?

Unless you know something I don't

I agree stephanie

I would not like any of my children to be in the porn industry

YANBU, OP.

I agree OP. Also I believe porn ultimately harms everyone so it is not up to individuals to decide.

YANBU.

"level of social marginalisation "

So support sex workers, normalize their jobs. I have friends who work in the adult industry and love it. It's entirely in their control what jobs they do or don't do. They can turn down a video commission if it unsettles them. The one thing they do complain about is people judging them for doing a job they enjoy.

Sex workers aren't going away, the best way to protect them is to normalize their work so they're not afraid of saying when something is wrong.

@soberken

It isn't against the law.

My point was that even though I would be ashamed of my wife and father for doing it, I don't think it should be illegal. So I don't see a contradiction between disapproving of something if my family do it and not thinking it should be outlawed. And if it happened to someone I knew but didn't particularly care about, I'd probably enjoy the drama.

I think I'm with you then @BadLad

So support sex workers, normalize their jobs.

I don’t know any. But I didn’t say I marginalised sex workers. I just don’t watch porn.

Reapers - why would I want to normalise something I disapprove of?

Sooty although gay for pay is a thing and might induce a bit more empathy than just women being treated the way they are in porn.

Having said that, standard het porn vs standard gay porn is worlds apart. Standard gay porn doesn't have the huge level of subjugation humiliation violence that is totally normalised in het porn (is not just sex its a display of male sexual dominance).

Why would anyone want to normalise sex work?

I don't want it advertised in the job centre, take it or lose benefits, I don't want it suggested to girls at careers events or recruited into at uni (and let's face it, it would be the girls).

No thanks.

Loads of women and girls (and men and boys I'm sure) want out of being a 'Sex worker'. I'm happy to support them in that. Why do the men and women who are happy need help?

why would I want to normalise something I disapprove of?

Because it supports the vunerable women in porn? If you make it so they won't be judged for their jobs they'll feel more able to come forward when something is wrong. People disapproved of black rights, ending slavery, gay people but we normalized it anyway. Your disapproval isn't going to shut down an industry that has been around since the beginning of time and whose workers are mostly happy in their jobs.

As for the male female divide in porn - women in porn are paid a hell of a lot more. A Man will get £300 for a scene that a woman will receive £4k for.

YANBU porn hurts women,men and children unless your cool of course.

www.huffpost.com/entry/is-sex-work-empowering-or-enslaving_b_5825882

"“I don’t ask you to like what I do. If you find the exchange of sex for cash abhorrent, okay then. But what I do ask for is to be allowed to do my job in safety and to be treated with dignity and respect.”

Pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say.