To say FIL doesn't own a third of our house?

[winnie765]

We bought out first house earlier this year with a 30% deposit of approx £100k. Of this, FIL gifted dh &30k. He declared it was a gift in the paperwork during the process and his name is not on the deeds.

But he keeps saying things like 'I own a third of this house' and if it was sold in the future it would need to be divided three ways. He's even talking about getting us to sign something so he will get his money if we decide to sell and move.

AIBU to think this isn't quite right?

He has no legal standing whatsoever and you know it. Sign nothing.

You need to tell him straight. You do not own a third of the house. If it were to be sold now you would get nothing.

You need to sort this out now if it isn't to fester and cause bad feeling and upset for years to come though.

I'd do everything I could to pay him back the £30k ASAP.

Yanbu, if he wanted the money back it’s a loan not a gift, if he wants a proportion of the future sale it’s an investment. Thats just not on. If he had been clear at the beginning that it was not a gift that would have been fine but tbh prob best to clarify with him. Feel sorry for your DH. But yeah yanbu.

'He declared it was a gift on the paperwork and his name is not on the deeds'. End of story, surely? emotional blackmail aside, what can he hope to gain? but if you are worried consult a lawyer, I suppose.

He has GIFTED it to you. Plus I doubt he is paying a third of the mortgage. Do not sign anything new! At the very most, offer him the £30k back if you sell.

That would make me feel very uncomfortable, are you going to say something ?

It's common for relatives to "gift" money for a deposit (they have to sign to say it's a gift or it wouldn't be permitted by the bank), but with the informal intent that the money is repaid. Is that the case here?

If the total house price is £300k and FIL gifted £30k then he most certainly does not own a third of the house. If he owned anything at all it would be one tenth of the house. Technically he owns nothing anyway as his name isn’t on the deeds. Personally I’d offer to refund his gift as he’s whinging about it.

Under what circumstances was it given to your partner?

Legally speaking people have to give as a gift for you to go on and get lending from a mortgage company. He knows he’s signed paperwork saying that.

Familiarly speaking, did your partner agree that he was accepting the money with strings?

Nip it in the bud now, especially if DH has siblings and it could cause a rift, especially when it comes to wills etc, if DFIL has been telling everyone that he invested money in your property.
Ask him if he understands the paperwork he signed stated that it was a gift and not a loan or investment.

Isn’t it illegal to state money towards a house deposit is a gift? Banks will look at it differently than if it’s a loans (which will count towards you affordability I think?)

I mean state it’s a gift when it’s not

Of course he doesn't. Ownership of houses is very clear: if he's not named on the deeds, it's not his.

However, someone needs to sit down and have a conversation with him about that to make it very clear. He declared the money was a gift - did he really mean that? Did he not understand what that meant? Does he want to change that now? I would not in any way change the deeds, but you might end up needing to make arrangements to pay him back over time, or something. Or perhaps he'll want to change his will to take account of the money he's already given your DH. But ideally he will remember what a gift is and get over himself.

He sounds awful and is enjoying making you feel insecure. I would say, “we thought it was a gift, you declared it as a gift, are you now saying that you lied to us and the deposit was not a gift? If so get the paperwork & we will sign to say that when the house is sold you get your £30K back, not a third of the value of the property. We would also expect you to pay the relevant % of fees for selling the property out of your £30k”. That way you are not beholden to him, and shut him up! I think it is unlikely he will want you to sign the £30k back to him, he is playing games and enjoying it.

Echo @Greyponcho. Your fil is talking shit but you need to stop him now before others start believing him.

We bought out first house earlier this year with a 30% deposit of approx £100k. Of this, FIL gifted dh &30k. He declared it was a gift in the paperwork during the process and his name is not on the deeds.

Semantics say he contributed 1/9th - and no he owns nothing his name is not on the deed s …. but what did he privately agree with DH? That's what I'd be worried about

No. He gifted it to DH and put that in writing. It was a gift, not a loan.

Assuming FIL is not mentioned on the deeds to your house or on the mortgage in any way, nor on any other deeds of trust, then he has no interest in the property at all.

Check it out with your solicitor just to make sure, but I think you are pretty safe.

I think some people are mean and use their money to taunt and manipulate those around them.

But you can choose not to accept money from those people. This man has helped you out to the tune of £30k, what’s legally right and whats the decent thing to do can differ. Best to have a calm conversation to clear the air.

His maths is rubbish anyway as 30% of a 30% deposit wouldn’t make him entitled to a third of anything! It’s legally a gift so he hasn’t got a leg to stand on, but with that attitude I’d be looking to try and pay back the 30k at some point then you can tell him to get stuffed.

Even if it wasn't a gift from FIL, if the house is worth around £300k and if he had loaned/invested £30k, then at most he would have a 10% stake. Where the hell is he getting a third from? Is he paying a third of the mortgage? Your FIL is an idiot. Tell him so while you're explaining how gifts work and also how mathematics works.

Gifts towards a deposit or cash price of a property have to have paperwork to say they are a gift and not a loan or an investment, because the mortgage co need to know that no one else has a charge or claim over the property and that you don’t have a debt that could compromise your ability to pay.

Also if he did this as inheritance tax planning it has to be a gift not a loan etc to comply with the 7 year rule.

Did your DH and FIL come to an agreement that the paperwork was to get through the hoops but FIL would get it back if he needed it?

Anyway his maths is way off. He contributed a third of the deposit. Which is a third value of the whole house. You and DH are paying the mortgage on the remaining two thirds.

Sadly gifts often come with strings, and your FIL sounds like the type to tug them.

X-post with practically everybody!