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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you should never marry a gamer

344 replies

Somersetlady · 12/07/2019 15:54

A glut of threads on here recently reference DH being useless/not contributing/ not looking after kids because they are in the xbox. Often they stay up late on the xbox.

One but of advice for those dating would seem to be to steer clear of gamers as your future OH!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 15/07/2019 17:20

Are people really so mind-numbingly dense?!

I believe someone so scathing to the point of name calling either are trolling for shits and giggles or have a massive black hole of sadness and bitterness in their lives. Nobody properly happy and content with their lives judges others that harshly to the point they're practically spitting out the words.

December2019 · 15/07/2019 17:21

My OH is a gamer... so am I as soon as my LO goes to sleep we game together I can think of worse hobbies to be honest, and he never puts gaming before our little boy EVER!

Chovihano · 15/07/2019 17:23

twiddling thumbs, creative. I've heard it all now. It's a toy, a game.
Enjoy it by all means, but admit it Grin

Lockheart · 15/07/2019 17:26

Another reason I like gaming is that it's something I can do with my partner when he's thousands of miles away (LDR); we can play together. Hard to do other hobbies together over such a distance although we do sometimes watch a film together with video chat on. We could both sit in silence and read books with a webcam on I suppose but it's not so interactive.

Stamz · 15/07/2019 17:26

twiddling thumbs, creative. I've heard it all now. It's a toy, a game.

There are a lot of very creative games, calling it just twiddling thumbs is ridiculous, there's some many genrees of games and some allow you to be incredibly creative.

Gooigi · 15/07/2019 17:26

Games can be creative.

Insulting people over the internet, not so much.

When you say you would discourage someone you know from being 'involved' with a camera how do you know? If a friend or family member mentioned that they were seeing someone, how do you know if they're part of the half of the population who play games?

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 15/07/2019 17:28

I think the advice should be don't date a selfish man who will put any hobby above family/partner. Plenty of people I know are gamers who check for other plans, cyclists who don't fuck off during kid's bedtimes, etc.

A selfish man will be selfish regardless of hobby or lack thereof.

WaitingInTheBushesOfLove · 15/07/2019 17:31

@Fibbke

Current lvl cap at 120? Is it lotro? IS IT?! Grin. I actually met DH there.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 15/07/2019 17:36

"twiddling thumbs, creative. I've heard it all now. It's a toy, a game.
Enjoy it by all means, but admit it"

You're just showing your ignorance now.

WaitingInTheBushesOfLove · 15/07/2019 17:41

@Fibbke i read the thread more properly and saw you meant WoW Blush

EnterFunnyNameHere · 15/07/2019 17:50

Jesus, what hobbies are allowed? No cycling, no golf, no drinking, no going out with mates unless preplanned but you can't stay in and play games either.

I guess I'll just alternate work and sleep till I die then, as fun is for kids!

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 18:10

twiddling thumbs, creative. I've heard it all now. It's a toy, a game

You’re making yourself look very foolish. Do some actual reading and educate yourself.

Oh and I’ve no axe to grind, gaming isn’t a hobby of mine at all.

Chovihano · 15/07/2019 18:18

You don't move from your bottom to do anything creative other than twiddle thumbs, sorry all Emperors new clothing to me.
If people want to play games then that's up to them, it's not for me and mine, and I wouldn't marry one. I can't see how there's anything creative about pretending to be doing something, and don't find that creative.

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 18:20

You don't move from your bottom to do anything creative other than twiddle thumbs, sorry all Emperors new clothing to me

Whereas when you’re writing or drawing you’re leaping around the room.....?

I can't see how there's anything creative about pretending to be doing something, and don't find that creative

So acting isn’t creative also?

You really struggle with creativity as a concept don’t you?

Stompythedinosaur · 15/07/2019 18:21

I think the advice should be never to marry a selfish dickhead.

My dp played computer games pre dc, as did I. Then we had dc and were massively busy keeping them alive and ourselves sane, so stopped. The dc are older now and do will occasionally play something for half an hour if I go to bed early. I don't see anything wrong with it. He does half the housework and childcare and doesn't opt out of family life to do it.

It is the selfish man-childten gamers who should be avoided.

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 18:21

I mean I play the piano for a hobby. I’m arguably doing nothing more than twiddling thumbs and fingers.....

Ginnymweasley · 15/07/2019 18:22

But you haven't played any games so how do you know they are not creative? There are hundreds of different types of video games out there. Not everyone plays fifa, cod or gta. You are being incredibly rude and dismissive about something you really do not understand. I personally thinks that is really immature and childish, like when my 4 yr old wont wat something cause she doesn't like it even though she has never tried it before.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 15/07/2019 18:37

@Chovihano it's becoming clearer with every post that you have no idea what you're talking about and it's really quite embarrassing.

NotJust3SmallWords · 15/07/2019 18:38

My DH is a big gamer. I also play games, although it's his big hobby. I also know lots of other functioning adults who play games! I don't see how it's different to spending your free time doing any other hobby.

With regards to pp mentioning the amount of time gaming can take up compared to other hobbies, coming from a football mad family I know from experience that there's ALWAYS football to be watched/discussed/a fantasy league to take part in if you look hard enough! Grin I have no problem with it though because it's what they love!

Chovihano · 15/07/2019 18:44

I've had children who played when younger, of course I know what I'm on about.
I played the odd driving game when eldest was little.
I know what's about and still don't see anything creative at all.
I work in creative industries, gaming isn't one of them, apart from those who design them, for others to twiddle, pretend and play.
I think it's pathetic, and so do a lot of other people, Many don't so each to their own.

gamerchick · 15/07/2019 18:48

You don't move from your bottom to do anything creative other than twiddle thumbs, sorry all Emperors new clothing to me

Man you really don't have a clue have you? Grin wiis are stand up active games. Virtual reality, a person can feel tired just watching. Or is the picture in your head the stereotypical sitting in a dark room for hours starting at a screen?

Brain boggles man Grin

.

Stamz · 15/07/2019 18:50

I know what's about and still don't see anything creative at all.

Role players on mmos that create amazing detailed backstories, design there characters to match that and do detailed dialog on the fly with other players, incredibly creative.

Some of the designs people do in city builder type games, creative.

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 18:54

I played the odd driving game when eldest was little.
I know what's about and still don't see anything creative at all

So ONE type of game and you think you know about all of them?

I work in creative industries, gaming isn't one of them, apart from those who design them, for others to twiddle, pretend and play

If you actually worked in a creative industry you would understand a little more. Do try and make your imaginary online persona a little more believable.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 15/07/2019 18:58

So you played a driving game years ago and that makes you an expert...?

Chovihano · 15/07/2019 19:18

No, of course not. My brood have had most games going, I always checked the content and age rating.
They just stopped playing when they grew up.
Maybe they found it sad too.
Gosh yes, I'm a terrible liar, I don't work in a creative industry, unfortunately it's not role play, that would be good to earn a living through playing games, I'd get bored though. Grin
I'm sorry but I don't see pretending to do something creative at all. Now actually doing the thing could be very creative.
It's mind boggling the extent some gamers will go to in order to not look like adults with children's toys. Do you play role play with dollies and lego too. Grin It gets funnier.