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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you should never marry a gamer

344 replies

Somersetlady · 12/07/2019 15:54

A glut of threads on here recently reference DH being useless/not contributing/ not looking after kids because they are in the xbox. Often they stay up late on the xbox.

One but of advice for those dating would seem to be to steer clear of gamers as your future OH!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/07/2019 03:28

I'd rather my dh had a more active hobby than gaming, for his health and energy levels

DH goes to the gym or runs most days, has a six pack and can bench press 245lbs. And games. He does most of the housework. And no, he doesn't have a brother.

Oh and @Chovihano don't dis Lego. No good person disrespects Lego.

groundanchochillipowder · 16/07/2019 03:39

My DH is also a gamer. He doesn't drink or go out much, he enjoys walking and mountain biking, works FT, pulls his weight at home and with our kids.

Somersetlady · 16/07/2019 08:37

@NameChange9854 genuinely interested.

Are you actually cooking just in different places or are you pretending to cook in a game?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 16/07/2019 08:38

@RasberryRoyale then yes, yes they do Wink

NeverSayFreelance · 16/07/2019 08:39

I'm a gamer. Please don't say that to my boyfriend.

Stamz · 16/07/2019 08:44

Not that poster but I'm guessing the game is overcooked? Brilliant game, a game based around a restaurant. store.steampowered.com/app/448510/Overcooked/

Spudlet · 16/07/2019 08:45

Just to clarify then... last night DH and I, once the house was sorted, DS was asleep and all was well, sat down for a quick gaming session together. We met up in-game and hit some monsters before bedtime, tried out DH’s main character’s new shiny clicks item and inched my main character a little bit more through the hell level she’s currently in.

Other nights we might get Scrabble out and have a game of that.

So what makes one of those things more trivial and juvenile than the other, please?

Fibbke · 16/07/2019 10:26

No good person disrespects Lego

True dat

NameChange9854 · 16/07/2019 16:53

Stamz is correct - the cooking game is Overcooked. It's cooking-themed but really it's a task-management game which relies on good communication and teamwork.

It's good, simple, sociable fun.

aliensprig · 16/07/2019 17:08

Yes, because all men who like video games are a waste of space Hmm

Somersetlady · 16/07/2019 20:06

It seems to be mostly about addiction to gaming on many threads including the young teenagers:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3639760-To-throw-the-fing-xbox-out-the-window

OP posts:
NameChange9854 · 16/07/2019 20:30

Gaming absolutely can be addictive but for the vast majority of gamers it's a perfectly healthy passtime.

JacquesHammer · 16/07/2019 20:34

It seems to be mostly about addiction to gaming on many threads including the young teenagers

“On many threads” and you link to one Grin

Anecdote isn’t evidence.

Gooigi · 16/07/2019 22:29

How does a single thirteen year old playing too much Xbox prove your point exactly? It's not like he's going to get married any time soon.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 16/07/2019 22:59

"It seems to be mostly about addiction to gaming on many threads including the young teenagers"

And on these "many threads" a lot of these problems could be solved by parenting the children in question 🙄

Ginnymweasley · 17/07/2019 08:21

And marriage of 13 years olds is rife.....
A teenager is not the same as an adult in any way. The teenager could have his x box taken away by his parents if it was a problem. Most teenagers are not addicted they are just not parented effectively.

Somersetlady · 18/07/2019 07:48

I was horrified to read that thread. On top of all the gamer husband that don't pull their weight threads.

I cant think of many other hobbies that would end with behaviour like that!?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 18/07/2019 07:55

I cant think of many other hobbies that would end with behaviour like that!?

Really? You don’t see the threads about football...? Or martial arts?

Let’s face it, if you’ve got a bizarre and unfounded prejudice you’ll only see threads that in your mind corroborate your viewpoint.

Somersetlady · 18/07/2019 08:52

No @jacqueshammer i have not seen any other threads where the hobby becomes so addictive it The home that it leads to the sufferer not even wanting to go out of the house.

I assume you have to leave the house to partake in football and martial arts and as they are physical activities can not be undertaken 20 hours of the day?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 18/07/2019 08:58

I assume you have to leave the house to partake in football and martial arts and as they are physical activities can not be undertaken 20 hours of the day?

Your use of hyperbole is making you look, quite frankly, a little dim.

Someone gaming as a hobby isn’t an issue. Someone spending excessive amounts of time and disengaging from family life is. I mean it isn’t rocket science is it?

Just another anecdote - which I’m sure you will be fine with as you seem to extrapolate them as evidence.

My ex-husband was a gamer. He used to game probably a couple of times a week. A friend I knew through baby group had a husband who was a season ticket holder for a football team and played himself so trained a couple of nights a week.

Who do you think wasn’t happier? Me with the present husband, who would stop his hobby if the baby cried, would play whilst I was getting a decent stretch of sleep, would check if he was ok to play. Or my friend? Whose husband without question was out of the house two evenings, every Sunday morning and all day Saturday every couple of weeks...

ShellsandSand · 18/07/2019 09:12

Another one with a gamer husband. He works hard, is a fantastic father and supportive husband. Sexy as hell and then twice a week he nerds it out to play destiny in his study. I wouldn't change him for the world. Much rather a gamer than dragging him out of pubs or him slinking on social media.

GrapesAreMyJam · 18/07/2019 09:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Somersetlady · 18/07/2019 09:55

@JacquesHammer congratulations for having a husband who does’t leave the house.

I’m not sure how you are measuring happiness but if i or my husband didn't leave the house to go out for our hobbies or to socialise i would personally become very down!

OP posts:
Gooigi · 18/07/2019 10:00

You've already made up your mind that most gamers are useless husbands based only on a few anecdotes, so why bother with the thread?

Swipe left for the next trending thread