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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What makes a person 'common'?

926 replies

Karlwho · 10/07/2019 20:37

In your opinion. Just interested.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 20/07/2019 14:33

CherryPavlova
I'm thinking of the middle classes with higher disposable income to spend on those things vs middle classes who may have good salaries but it's tied up in their home/childcare etc.

Aspiring middle classes would be the 'fur coat, no knickers' types as my grandparents would say. (Waits for impending condemnation for daring to suggest anyone likes to present a certain lifestyle).

The class system only exists because people perpetuate it.
The class system exists because there are very real differences in income, opportunity, differences in terms of access to education, health differences, life expectancy, access to secure housing and so on and so forth
The problem when discussing class is that it's easy for some to pretend it's some thing people have just created, but it isn't.

The social differences exist and part of that is that different trends occur within social groups. It's a fact of life.

ethelfleda
I agree with you, but would say that certain trends and features are more/less prominent in different classes.

E.g.. The toilet brush thing I hadn't come across until MN, but there's a difference between people who have the money and inclination to buy Joules, White Stuff, Boden etc vs someone who buys knock off sports gear from the market vs someone who shops mainly at affordable high street such as Primark, new look, h&m.
To pretend as some would that these aren't signs of class is disingenuous. In one area of my area the fake juicy velour tracksuits with lots of bling on the back are the in style for teens, in another it's all Michael kors school bags and ballet flats with the big Vivienne Westwood logo on.

roisinagusniamh · 20/07/2019 16:02

It can be very amusing being Irish and living in a very middle class area of a town in England ....some people can't quite place me and , on hearing me speak, will say 'but, you don't have a real Irish accent '. I assure that that "indeed I do, to be sure, to be sure" . It's just a middle class Irish accent .

Rosehip10 · 20/07/2019 17:28

Describing British troops as "our boys/lads" and absolute refusal to accept that no member of the British forces has ever done anything wrong ever.

31RueCambon · 20/07/2019 17:37

@roisinAgusNiamh, I agree, I've had that reaction from Irish people and I've had the opposite reaction too. So never has relativity seemed more the issue! Until about 1999 I was fending off West Brit accusations in Ireland (even in Donnybrook) and yet, simultaneously a good friend of mine in the UK (LOVELY woman) thinks I have a very strong Irish accent. Not sure what she is comparing it to! I've noticed on mumsnet threads, it's a bit working class/lower middle class to assume that All Irish People do x, y or z (usually something dated or something they've realised is looked down on in the UK). Eg My Nana was from Cork and she had a cup of tea with her dinner at 12 midday, ergo, all Irish people do this, it's "'Irish'' Grin But sure we're all prone to a bit of generalisation I know.

roisinagusniamh · 20/07/2019 18:31

31, what I also find amusing is that second generation Irish people here like to assume that I must come from a poor Irish back ground . It is so ingrained in the how English people also view the Irish.
Eh, no , I just happened to have married an English man and ended up living here .
I am not poor or deprived and was never hungry !
It's actually insulting when I say my mother has a gardener and a house keeper and they ask why in a tone that suggests that all Irish are peasants !

ethelfleda · 20/07/2019 18:46

I agree with you, but would say that certain trends and features are more/less prominent in different classes

I agree with you. What I mean is that these things don’t define your class - they are just more like for certain classes. So while you may be more likely to shop at Joules if you’re MC, shopping at Joules doesn’t make someone MC.

It’s the same with having a degree. The middle and upper classes are more likely to be university educated... but having a degree does not make you MC anymore than not having one doesn’t. If that makes sense.

LolaSmiles · 20/07/2019 19:51

ethelfleda
It sounds like we are on the same page. Smile

NoTheresa · 20/07/2019 20:35

@CherryPavlova

NoTheresa, an aide memoir to tick off where people sit on the spectrum wouldn’t work. You must simply know.

Would this knowledge include the ability to spell aide memoire, perchance?

CherryPavlova · 20/07/2019 23:57

Typo sorry. Perfectly capable of spelling.

31RueCambon · 21/07/2019 12:05

@roisinagusniamh I think the most privileged of the middle class are under represented in the UK, so without ever thinking about it too deeply (why would there be the need to think about it) most English people perceive Irish to be ''the rung beneath them''. No matter where they fall on the social spectrum themselves, no matter where the Irish person falls. It is as you say a very ingrained default assumption. I was asked if my Dad was a builder when I arrived in the UK. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but no, he wasn't a builder!

It's a weird one, because as an Irish person you don't want to be 'highlighting' the existence of our own class structure! But when you're pegged wrong, it is a slightly discombobulating experience.

NoTheresa · 21/07/2019 12:27

CherryPavlova

Typo sorry. Perfectly capable of spelling.

But of course...

roisinagusniamh · 21/07/2019 12:28

Exactly 31Rue, I also find that the second generation Irish love to bond with me on 'our' poor upbringing .....and it seems rude to say 'well, actually, I have a very privileged upbringing '

WestBerlin · 21/07/2019 14:31

I live in the UK but my background is foreign (former Soviet/Yugoslav). I don’t know my place in the class system in the UK, although I meet the markers for ‘middle/upper middle’ (born into relative wealth: private school, university educated, speak three languages) apparently. I’m also covered in tattoos and I smoke. I don’t particularly care whether I’m perceived as common, new money, proletariat etc. I am what I am, as ultimately we all are.

From what I’ve seen as an outsider looking in, it’s the middle classes that stress the most about what class they’re perceived to be. The working and upper classes have more in common than not, and each are secure in their social standing.

isitwhatitis · 21/07/2019 20:01

Those awful 'musical' car horns.

DanglyWhoreTassels · 21/07/2019 20:16
NoTheresa · 21/07/2019 20:19

Sounds like Noddy. Parp parpGrin

HairyDogsInUnusualPlaces · 21/07/2019 20:35
DanglyWhoreTassels · 21/07/2019 21:14

Dog I challenge you to a duel of 'who can parp the most common' outside itiswhatitis's house!

No offence itis this is strictly business! Apols in advance. May the battle commence ...

(Please use 'The Voice Kids' voice for that last bit then)

DanglyWhoreTassels · 21/07/2019 21:16
HairyDogsInUnusualPlaces · 21/07/2019 21:24
Instagrrr · 21/07/2019 21:28

People who talk loudly in public, especially when we get to hear loudly about uncle Jeremy who has a wheelchair and has someone around to wash his bits... it’s just awful!!

DanglyWhoreTassels · 21/07/2019 21:29
isitwhatitis · 21/07/2019 21:31

Hahaha. Somebody was driving round setting one off loudly this afternoon - which one of you lot was it?

DanglyWhoreTassels · 21/07/2019 21:33

Itis I am Sparticus!

ThighsRelief · 21/07/2019 21:38

I say! Is this the boiled fannies thread?