My boyfriend's mother told me to shut up. AIBU to be very upset?

[camelliavi]

I met my new partner's mother for the first time today. I'm a nervous and shy person and so I tend to go into small talk (as most do!). When she came into the house I asked her if she wanted a tea or coffee, made her a coffee and sat down with my partner on the sofa with her. I made some small talk with her, started telling her a story I thought she'd be interested in given what I knew about her and she said to me "I'm sure you have lots of other stories to tell, but I don't want to hear them". I would never be so bloody rude! He did stand up for me and I made my excuses (about bus timetables and needing to get going) and went home. He walked me back to the station and apologised then we chatted for a while longer. AIBU to be so, so, so annoyed with this woman? I don't think so

Edit: I am already tired and stressed and she's ruined my evening...

I understand having a bad day. But I would never bloody speak to someone like that, ever

Yanbu. She sounds delightful? Did your boyfriend say its normal for her to behave like that? Its a straight up no from me, don't try to be polite to this woman again.

She sounds like a rude cow and he needs to have a word. YANBU. As a person that is also shy, you either fill silence with small talk, or don't speak. If you don't speak, you are branded ignorant.

Well done on making the effort to chat etc.

Wow. She certainly laid her stall out didn’t she?

I agree you are NBU. I'd be annoyed too. Maybe she had problems on her mind. Maybe she was in pain. Still, there's no excuse. Is she usually like this? Your dp will know.

It seems like a very weird and rude response -- is there some context to this, given that it's the first time you've met? Does she disapprove of you for some reason? Or had your nervousness led you to rabbit on about butterfly collecting/Warhammer/Susan in Accounts for half an hour without letting anyone else get a word in, or something?

Of course YANBU she was incredibly rude.

I’m a bit confused, were you in your boyfriend’s house? He doesn’t live with her does he

Do you think she didn’t like you playing host?

The question is what is your boyfriend going to do about her? I would be very hesitant about continuing the relationship unless they are very low contact/he has some major redeeming features.

Wow very rude, I’d also be making it clear that I wouldn’t be spoken to in such a rude manner by someone.
This is a very bad sign for the relationship I’m afraid.

It's not entirely relevant, but where were you? In your boyfriend's house? (I presume so, because if you were at hers, you wouldn't have offered to make coffee and if you were at yours, you wouldn't have left!). I wonder if perhaps she felt you were 'marking your territory' by making the coffee, i.e. hosting in her son's house and that pissed her off?

However, that doesn't excuse her rudeness in any way.

On the face of it, she sounds bloody rude! I have questions. Did she know you were going to be there? Did you keep speaking and not let her get a word in? How long were you speaking for? Did you say anything that may be construed as offensive?

That’s very odd behaviour, I can’t think of any reason why she’d be so awful. Swerve her in future if possible. Bet your boyfriend was mortified!

I know it's easy for me to say, but I wouldn't stay with a man who's parent treated me like this.

Reminds me of the first time i met my now in laws, my now dh introduced us and she just stared blankly at me and ignored me. Offered everyone else tea not me. Then call dh ex over secretly, dh wasnt happy and we left. 19 years on we do not talk at all, tried countless times but i gave up about 6 years ago. Also she treat our kids the same.
If your dp sticks up for you thats great, if not run for the hills

She's a bitch who can't bear to let another woman near her precious darling boy. Remember, if you stay in a relationship with him you're taking her on too and she's hostile already.

If you stay with him he will be forever mediating between the two of you.
It will cause trouble. Is he worth it? Only you know that.

Unless your story was somehow deeply offensive, then yes she was very rude!

Your 'mil' sounds awful. In all honesty, knowing what I know now, I would think long and hard before continuing with this relationship. At a time when most of us would be on our best behaviour, they've given you a tiny taster of what your future with your bf will be like. She will always be his mum and he obviously isn't ready to deal properly with this yet. Life's hard enough! I would step away. Find someone with welcoming parents.

I don’t think I could carry on with a relationship based on that. Ive been there with the rude and nasty mother in law and I’d never do it again.

Yes she was rude, but did you over talk her so she couldn't get a word in edgeways?

Im guessing the making coffee thing wasn't well received, a bit "getting your feet under the table"

She sounds like a major bitch!
I once met an ex’s mum for the first time and accidentally (lightly) kicked her leg under the table when I was moving my chair in. She immediately put her knife and fork down and said “Do NOT kick me again!” in the frostiest voice ever. I was quite young at the time and very self conscious so I almost died on the spot from embarrassment.

YANBU. She was very rude and I'm not surprised you're upset.

Delightful!
I suppose she could be tired and stressed too but I would be annoyed/feel put out about it...
What does your partner say?
Is she just the type of person that had no filter? Or is perhaps very quiet?
I'd warily see how next visit goes. I'd stay quiet and see how she and partner interacts. Partner needs to stick up for you.

So what was your story? Maybe she found it offensive or just ridiculous. It might be relevant so do tell.

I would’ve said “fine. I’ll never talk to you again then “ 🙄

Treat others as you are treated.