Which parent is BU?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Parents A and B have two dc aged 4 and 7. Parent A and Parent B have to take consecutive weeks off work in October as Parent A is off work week 1 and kids are off school week 2. Parent A is unable to swap weeks. On Parent A's week off, they will do school drop offs etc for dc and have daytimes to do whatever needs doing round the house etc, so no need to book any childcare.

Parent B has suggested taking the dc away Mon-Fri of their (and dc) week off. The trip suggested is a cheap UK caravan resort.

Parent A would typically have no issue with this, and would likely enjoy the peace and quiet.

The crux - the 4 yo will turn 5 right in the middle of that break away.

Parent A thinks this is not acceptable, and that they should be able to spend the day with the dc (after work of course), wake up and see them and then do a family dinner etc.

Parent B suggests that they do all the gifts and family day on the Sat or Sun prior, and that this shouldn't prevent them taking the trip as it would if they stayed at home for the birthday.

Is either BU?

I get more holidays than DH and have considered taking them on a caravan holiday while he is at work but nearby so he can just go to and from work from the campsite. That way they get to have a little holiday and go for days out but DH can join us for the evenings. Mine are 7 and 9 and don't really care how far they are from home just that they are away somewhere.
Maybe this could work for you all. I wouldn't want the DC to miss out on a holiday but would feel awful missing a birthday especially at that age when they are so exciting.

Parent A is being unreasonable. They will be at work most of the dc birthday anyway and I bet dc would prefer a caravan holiday away and having fun.
Have a party before or after and parent A can facetime on actual birthday.

Seems a bit selfish of parent A to stop them going away just because they want a family dinner on that 1 day. I mean what would the dc perfer? a family dinner or a weeks holiday?

I don't think either is being particularly unreasonable, but while I understand Parent A being disappointed, I think for the greater good if I were Parent A, I would agree with Parent B's proposal.

(Unless it is something that can be booked just as cheaply in Feb half term assuming holidays coincide so you all can do it?)

Holiday trumps Birthday in this case so just move the birthday. Parent A is bu.

Have a before birthday and an after birthday..
Make the holiday the birthday gift.
The parent needs to realise keeping children away is for the parent not the child's benefit....
Children can make a film of their holiday and share it with the absent parent

Pull a sickie

No brainer! They should definitely go on holiday, pretend bday before they go with all the fuss then. No problem!

OP if you're Parent B, then I'm with you. I'm sure the child would much prefer the trip. Not going on the trip would only appease Parent A.

I wouldn't be happy with a child being away for their birthday if I'm honest, no.

I think the OP might be A, actually.

I think parent A might be ill that day 🤣

I would HATE to not see my DC on their birthday!

Parent B is BU as they could take them away sun-wed so back for family birthday tea or take them Wed pm -sat so at home for family birthday breakfast with A then go for the hols.

If the roles were reversed would B be happy to miss DCs actual BDay?

Id go for the fake, early birthday and then Skype on the actual morning and sing happy birthday to them/watch them open any further presents. Even if the kids were still at home the parent would still be at home all day. It seems a shame for the children to miss out on a little holiday just so the parent can see the child on a birthday.

I think I'd probably suck it up in parent A's place and do a party at the weekend since it sounds like the 4yr old won't really know what day their birthday is and they'd enjoy the holiday.

But it would probably still feel a bit wierd.

I would have hated to have missed my 5-year-olds birthday. Little ones get so excited at that age its just lovely.

Parent A is being unreasonable. It’s selfish to expect Parent B and their children to miss out on a break for the sake of a single date that can be celebrated another day.

Parent A. Do the celebration early, let them go off for the week and enjoy the peace and quiet. Call on the day to wish happy birthday

could parent b book somewhere close enough to come home for wed? or go for long weekend back on wed?

I also think most parents wouldn't be happy about missing their kids fifth birthday, I get their point. But I think they have themselves to blame, I am struggling to understand why they didn't take the second week off too and have a family holiday together?

Who are you, parent A or B? I'm guessing B

I think the birthday is a non-issue - do it before you go and enjoy the holiday, or have parent A join for the weekend on the holiday.

Holiday close enough for an evening visit, with which ever letter it is. Names are so much easier.

bluntness the op has already said they work in a school with different holidays for October.

There are so many options for breaks away I don’t get why you need to be away on the birthday. Book Sunday - Tuesday somewhere if needed!

If you can get away with a fake Birthday, do that.

If the child is savy enough to know it's their Birthday and be upset, then they stay at home.

I’d have their party with their friends the weekend before - what mine mostly remember is the main party where their friends come and they get the presents, party bag and party game etc.

The actual day isn’t that important but a week away will be another longer source of nice memories