To carry an angry toddler home in a fireman’s lift?

[Pretendbookworm]

Took DS who is 3 in a few weeks to the park. After 25 mins he said he wanted to go home now, and started pulling at the gate getting frustrated. So I opened it. As soon as we were out, he kicked off and wanted back in. I said ok but if you say we going again we will go. Sure enough he immediately started pulling at the gate, getting frustrated, saying he wanted to leave. Again I let him out and he immediately wanted back in. No chance. I said no that’s it we are going. Queue the mother of all meltdowns.

He wouldn’t walk so I carried him, alternating between over my shoulder or rugby ball style. He’s screaming blue murder. Every 50m or so I gave him a chance to walk but he wouldn’t stand, leaving me to just put him lying down on the grass. When he stood he wouldn’t walk so repeat the above.

Anyway, we get close to home and a car pulled over while he was kicking and screaming on the grass again. They paused then drove off. Then another car at a junction had everyone opening staring, shaking their heads with pearl clutching hands at their necks.

I come home, plonk DS in naughty corner for 2 mins while we both have a cry. I find it really bloody hard dealing with tantrums at the moment. I’m 10 weeks pregnant, tired and nauseous all the time and my partner works 12 hour shifts so it’s a long day with a non-napping toddler and no car.

Nuts, totally.

Of course YANBU we’ve all been there and there isn’t really any other option is there.

YANBU but I'm impressed by your strength!

Done the same with all 3 of mine. The middle one threw himself on the floor outside the shop. I cracked up. Honestly it was such an unusual reaction but it actually relieved the stress. I was literally belly laughing. A man walked past and laughed at me laughing at child, lots of people looking and laughing.
Boy gave up in the end and walked home nicely.

I have a 3 year old boy, all too familiar I'm afraid! Xx

You did exactly the right thing OP. So much better than trying to pander to them when they in the grip of a tantrum.

And make the most of being able to do the fireman’s lift. They return to tantrums when they hit adolescence - and by then you cannot put them over your shoulder

@mbosnz obviously a person trying to constrain a tantrumming toddler, who is their parent, is in a very different position to an unknown guy doing this to an adult woman

No doubt but that is not what is being proposed. All they plan to do is remove the defence of lawful chastisement from assault. They’re not planning on adding a caveat that allows the use of force to protect children from risk.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/smacking-children-uk-law-change-ban-is-it-illegal-what-are-rules-parents-punishment-a8069436.html

Honestly I salute you. If you can be consistent like that with toddler tantrums it will pay dividends in the long run.
Once they know you mean business and will stand your ground it saves you thousands of fights in the long run but at the stage you are at now it is tough.
So worth it though and don't give a toss what anyone else thinks.

You deserve the biggest slice of cake. Been there and you did the right thing. Ignore the car and the pearl clutchers - they didn't know the situation so stopped to check you weren't kidnapping the boy. As frustrating as it is when you are in tantrum hell, it is good that people do this.

YANBU. Done this many a time with my DD, she was the queen of tantrums. She would also do the plank as well.

We used to get the bus home together after nursery and work and it was a nightmare. Often refusing to sit down.

She is almost 18 now and still is a madam at times.

No doubt but that is not what is being proposed. All they plan to do is remove the defence of lawful chastisement from assault. They’re not planning on adding a caveat that allows the use of force to protect children from risk.

Well that's a bit of a bugger. Hopefully someone who has actually been a hands on parent might get involved in the actual drafting of the legislation. . .

All been there! You did fine. It feels shit at the time though, so my sympathies! And chances are the looks were either sympathy/empathy, or 'thank fuck my child is out of that stage' or 'I remember the horror of having to do that with my own DD/DS'. You're probably projecting your feeling like crap because of having to deal with toddler unreasonableness onto other people. If not...fuck 'em! He'll have forgotten all about it by now. Have a nice cuppa (or something stronger! No judgement here!) and park it x

YANBU! I end up carrying my 2.5 year old home kicking and screaming at least once a week. I’d like to think that onlookers are impressed by my arm strength rather than judging. My parents say I never tantrummed when I was a child so of course I was naive it expecting my offspring to be similarly placid. Nope.

Hang on in there. Solidarity.

@Manclife1 so what you're saying is that you should let the child do as they please? Just sit there and allow them to punch and kick you? Allow them to make you late while you roll around on the floor with them? Let them run onto the road and get flattened?
Picking a child up and forcibly removing them is usually used as a last resort when all else has failed.
I used to look like a milk maid but with two stropping toddlers dangling from their reins rather than two pails of milk. I didn't give a damn what anyone thought of my style.
Assault? It's common bloody sense.
Anyone would think the mother's were booting their kids up the arse all the way home listening to you.
Carry on OP, you're doing a great job. Take no notice of the judging fool's.

@UpOnTheShelf not at all. I fully agree with what the OP and would do the same myself. I was pointing out the hypocrisy of those who support this kind of action but want smacking banned. Both would be classed as assault if the anti-smacking brigade get their way.

Both would be classed as assault if the anti-smacking brigade get their wa

They really won't

@nobreakfastforme if you want an unsupported internet opinion to mean something you have to right FACT after it.

You’re welcome

Also done this many times!