To carry an angry toddler home in a fireman’s lift?

[Pretendbookworm]

Took DS who is 3 in a few weeks to the park. After 25 mins he said he wanted to go home now, and started pulling at the gate getting frustrated. So I opened it. As soon as we were out, he kicked off and wanted back in. I said ok but if you say we going again we will go. Sure enough he immediately started pulling at the gate, getting frustrated, saying he wanted to leave. Again I let him out and he immediately wanted back in. No chance. I said no that’s it we are going. Queue the mother of all meltdowns.

He wouldn’t walk so I carried him, alternating between over my shoulder or rugby ball style. He’s screaming blue murder. Every 50m or so I gave him a chance to walk but he wouldn’t stand, leaving me to just put him lying down on the grass. When he stood he wouldn’t walk so repeat the above.

Anyway, we get close to home and a car pulled over while he was kicking and screaming on the grass again. They paused then drove off. Then another car at a junction had everyone opening staring, shaking their heads with pearl clutching hands at their necks.

I come home, plonk DS in naughty corner for 2 mins while we both have a cry. I find it really bloody hard dealing with tantrums at the moment. I’m 10 weeks pregnant, tired and nauseous all the time and my partner works 12 hour shifts so it’s a long day with a non-napping toddler and no car.

I used to do the "slippery pig at the farmer market hold" under one arm when mine were little. I'd have DS clasped around his middle under one arm kicking and screaming while carrying DD in her awkward car seat thingy bashing against the side of my calf.

I'd get home and cry too.

The great news is they grow out of it and you run out of tears. Have a cup of tea or whatever you can enjoy without feeling nauseous plonk your toddler in front of cbeebies and sit together for a bit sniffling together and console yourself with the fact that it is not that long to bedtime!

@Manclife1 so you'd hit your child for hitting you. Great logic.

Totally not unreasonable!

By the way, if you have a buggy with lie flat mode & a toddler who likes to do the rigid arched back screaming protest if you put the buggy in newborn/lie flat mode it's much easier to get them strapped in and secure when they've just tried to run into traffic AGAIN

Did this last week after DD was being a little shitbag about holding hands to cross the road and was then pushing the purple faced screaming monster down the high street when some lovely lady coming the other way grinned at me and said "dont worry, youve got this" Fair made my day.

So don't worry OP. You've got this

I wouldn't worry about the cars. Actually, if you think about it, it's a good thing. Because if your DS was screaming because someone had grabbed him, the cars stopping would have been a blessing. They were only checking that everything looked like a parent dealing with an angry/tired/frustrated child.

And yes we've all done that. We were on holiday in Austria many years ago, having dinner at the hotel (one of those kinder ones) and a kid of about six was misbehaving - his parents were from Germany, we'd been speaking to them earlier in the day. Anyway, the mum picked him up like a log under her arm and carried him outside to have a few words. Better than trying to drag him through the restaurant or having an argument where everyone turned to watch.

Angry handbag 

@FudgeBrownie2019
That reminds me, I was shopping with my sister and niece, she was crying and making a huge ordeal because she couldn't have more snacks in the trolly. Screaming blue murder and the typical 'I don't know you, you aren't my mam' A woman came past and asked 'is that your mummy'. My sister turned to her and said 'if I was going to steal a child it wouldn't be this little shit'

You weren’t hurting him, you’ve done nothing wrong. Well done staying firm on the discipline. You sound like a great mom!

As for passers by gawping, I’d be worried if no-one cared, they obviously saw/heard a distressed child and it stopped them in their tracks. Good for them.

Oh and my DS never napped either, ever zzzzzzzzzzz

Are you a real mum until you have carried a screaming toddler to the backdrop of 'tut tut what is the world coming to' dirty looks?!

@Manclife1 smacking is not the same as carrying a child away from harm or distractions.

As for hitting your kids because they kicked you in the shin I can't answer that. Mine never kicked me in the shin, probably because I did the 'carry them away when they got too feisty' method. If you're carrying, they can't kick because you have their legs. Then they calm down, you calm down and they don't get to learn that slapping solves everything.

You did right OP.
Many moons ago when mine were toddlers, i used to put baby reins on them when i was shopping.
If they threw a tantrum i used to simply pick them up by the reins and carry them like a bag of shopping.
Don't worry about what people might think, or those in the car. They have probably done the same themselves.
Unless they're performance parents in which case they will try to cajole the child by saying things like 'we walk nicely Timmy and then you can have some of your favourite hummus dip, you like hummus dip Timmy'
Which is why Timmy is probably having a tantrum and refusing to move. He'd prefer a bag of quavers washed down with a blueberry panda pop.

Been there full trolley of shopping abandoned then rugby carriage of screaming toddler to the car and only when I strapped him into car did he promise to be a good boy!! Lots of stares from people but he never did it again and I was able to complete my shopping expedition!!

I've done that with my 5 year old who has ASD. It's the only way of holding him mid meltdown where he can't kick me.

Sometimes it’s the only thing you can do!!
Put it behind you, ignore the nosey idiots

We've all been there don't worry. My eldest tore my rotator cuff in my shoulder while having a meltdown as I tried to restrain him in the middle of a shopping centre once. I couldn't lift my arm for about 2 months! You have my deepest sympathy!

I used to do the "slippery pig at the farmer market hold" under one arm when mine were little. I'd have DS clasped around his middle under one arm kicking and screaming while carrying DD in her awkward car seat thingy bashing against the side of my calf.

That was me! Without the car seat, but with a baby that had just had a poonami. Which was when one of those pushy arseholes in the mall tried to stop me to try a free handcream sample. I mean - seriously?!

Don’t assume that staring by-passers are judging unless they’re actually making judgy comments. They’re probably doing what I would do: stop to assess the situation and check whether intervention is required, decide that it’s a tantrum which mum has under control, think “thank fuck it’s not me” and move on.

Yanbu. I can only assume the people who look shocked have never had a toddler. It’s not helpful. I’m only a couple of months into the terrible 2s so I’m relatively new at it but it feels so much worse when people are staring.

Oh darling, been there sooo many times. And now I try to smile sympathetically at people having a battle of wills with their small tyrant(s)!
You set a boundary and held it. Massive win!

Yep, done that, hitched her under my arm and held on for dear life to get her down the concrete stairs to Glasgow Queen St low level for anyone who knows it.
She was tired, pissed off and had enough and wouldn't walk down them, the only way to sort it was to get her on the train at the bottom of said stairs.
A woman actually did tut at me, so I said, "You deal with it thenand fuck off"
20 minutes later, Dd was warm and happy on the train, eating chocolate buttons!

You know the big trolleys in Tesco? Absolutely chock full of shopping, had to abandon it, jeggings falling down round my arse taking my knickers with them (fucking things never stayed up!!) so I'm waddling out of Tesco, sweating, pulling up my jeans with one hand, manhandling small child with the other, who's screaming at full tilt, losing his shit, as is the way of his people! Made it to the car, and burst into tears. A woman gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and that small act of kindness meant a lot!

Crap, I clicked the wrong button. YANBU. I have been there, you did the right thing. The only thing infact.

Jeggings never stayed up, that is, not my knickers! but that got me into that mess in the 1st place!!

What choice did you have? We've all been there. People staring have either not had toddlers or have forgotten what it's like! I wouldn't have bothered with the naughty step though. He probably didn't understand what he'd done by that time.

Not unreasonable but food or toy bribes might be necessary by late pregnancy.

Oh I ALWAYS seemed to bump into people as I firemans lifted DD along the local High St. I just used to smile and say "yep, she's a little bit tired". 3/3:30pm used to be our "meltdown" danger zone. A small snack would sometimes help.

The annoying thing is that the kids can just shake it off after 10 minutes, whereas you are probably left with aching muscles and feeling slightly deaf!

Another tactic I used to try when she was a bit older was to make her laugh by pulling a silly face/doing something completely unexpected. It worked more often than it didn't.

They do grow out of it

You should have waved at them