Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting them sleep in

128 replies

shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:27

All the family including the kids were hay baling last night until 10pm. It was all hands on deck since rain is forecast for today which would be very detrimental to the process if we left it half done. It was getting towards midnight when we all got to bed.

Needless to say the kids were still absolutely fast asleep at the usual get up time, so I've let them sleep in. I've phoned the school and left a message on the absences voicemail explaining the situation and saying that I will let them sleep for a reasonable time and bring them in as soon as I see fit.

AIBU to do this?

I should add that their attendance record is otherwise excellent.

OP posts:
lovelilies · 09/07/2019 09:30

I think it's fine, although most will probably disagree!
It's your family business, and in the whole I think working together hay baling will have been great for them ☺️

Bobbyflay · 09/07/2019 09:30

YANBU to let them stay in bed but YABU to expect them to do hay baling on a school night.

newmomof1 · 09/07/2019 09:31

I don't see an issue with it, especially as it's coming to the end of the term so I can't imagine they'll be doing massive amounts of work anyway.

There's more to life than books - you're showing them that, and encouraging a healthy lifestyle at the same time.

IceRebel · 09/07/2019 09:32

How old are the children? Going to bed at midnight does seem very late if the hay bailing was only up to 10pm. What happened in the almost 2 hours in between that meant they weren't able to go to bed?

raspberryk · 09/07/2019 09:34

I think it depends on the age of the kids, what they'll realistically have on at school in the last or last but 1 week of term.
If they're teens then I don't see a problem with helping, but then they should also be able to get up after a 10pm bedtime. If they're really young you may have to ask yourself what you were thinking, babysitter next time might be a good idea.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:35

"How old are the children? Going to bed at midnight does seem very late if the hay bailing was only up to 10pm. What happened in the almost 2 hours in between that meant they weren't able to go to bed?"

Yes it was late. By the time we had got home, got them fed, showered and actually in bed it was about 11.45.

They're 10 and 11

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 09/07/2019 09:35

Uh, by the time you get everyone home from the field, lock up the equipment and sheds, unlock the house, get people cleaned up, organize some food (as probably skipped dinner if it was so important to get the hay done).....that would easily use up at least 90 minutes!

You don't just wipe your hands in the fields at X o'clock and stroll into the bed at X:02...

OddestSock · 09/07/2019 09:36

I just wish mine would lie in any day - let them enjoy it, it's not a regular occurrence, sometimes you have to just go with the flow.

NoSquirrels · 09/07/2019 09:36

Totally fine! I’d have done the same.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/07/2019 09:37

Are schools even doing proper work this close to the summer holidays? It doubt they've missed much and there is more to education than perfect school attendance.

IceRebel · 09/07/2019 09:37

10 and 11 and they didn't eat until after 10pm, sorry yes YABU. I understand children helping out, but that it far to much at such a young age.

barryfromclareisfit · 09/07/2019 09:38

It’s fine. Like leaving lessons when the yows are out. Got to be done.

Vivavivienne · 09/07/2019 09:39

I think it’s fine: I’m assuming it’s a rural school anyway and their attendance is otherwise excellent.

I had mine up until 11.00pm during lambing one night, I got stuck up in the far shed and my husband was working. She went to school a bit late too, because she wasn’t up for 7.30am either. She’s 5.

Vivavivienne · 09/07/2019 09:40

@IceRebel

I can’t see anywhere that the kids had been starved since 12 noon lunch. Why is that too late as a one off? I’m assuming it wasn’t a three course meal. Probably omelettes/beans on toast in my farming family!

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:42

If we'd have got a baby sitter so they could get to bed at the usual time, they would most likely have never forgiven us and would hold it against us as 'the time when you wouldn't let us join in hay baling'

Besides - they're needed! One drives the gator and the other stands with a notepad and keeps count of everything that's getting stacked up.

It's great fun, too.

OP posts:
sleepingbelvi · 09/07/2019 09:43

I would expect 10 & 11 year olds to be able to manage a late night. It's not every night, a one off, ridiculous overreaction.

NoSquirrels · 09/07/2019 09:44

Posters from non-rural parts will not understand!

Vivavivienne · 09/07/2019 09:44

^^ it is great fun. I love it.... I have fond memories of handing round jugs of squash and cups of tea whilst directing tractor traffic like some flight Marshall Grin

I’m not sure this is a concept easily
Understood by those who don’t live this life though. I dare say people will be along shortly to berate you for letting them drive the gator.

Deadringer · 09/07/2019 09:44

Not a big deal at all imo.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:44

No I didn't starve them they'd faint! We have sandwiches on the hoof as and when throughout the proceedings.

OP posts:
GrassIsntGreener · 09/07/2019 09:45

It's fine, rural school here and children take time off for farming related activities.

BarryTheKestrel · 09/07/2019 09:46

I would have done the same. I'm not from a farming family but spent many a night during my late teens on my friends family farm helping with lambing or hay bailing or whatever needed doing immediately and wouldn't wait for the next morning.

People who have had no interaction with farming won't understand the urgency or the general family want to help out either.

I'm sure the other option was to leave the kids in bed alone and go and help by yourself which would have also had people in uproar.

It's a rare occasion. It's fine.

Vivavivienne · 09/07/2019 09:46

@shesgrownhorns exactly as we do. This is what pork pies and flapjack where made for ;)

ClaphamOmniwuss · 09/07/2019 09:46

YANBU! What work are they even doing by this point anyway? None of mine seem to have done any for ages already...

SudowoodoVoodoo · 09/07/2019 09:48

YANBU. It's a useful life experience. The classroom is important, but it's not the only place where learning occurs.

More than 10 mins late is recorded as an absence, but there's more to life than data.

The saying "make hay while the sun shines" exists for a reason. In this case, you literally have to do it when conditions are good as damp hay will spoil. I'm a townie, but it's not hard to grasp the general idea.