Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting them sleep in

128 replies

shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:27

All the family including the kids were hay baling last night until 10pm. It was all hands on deck since rain is forecast for today which would be very detrimental to the process if we left it half done. It was getting towards midnight when we all got to bed.

Needless to say the kids were still absolutely fast asleep at the usual get up time, so I've let them sleep in. I've phoned the school and left a message on the absences voicemail explaining the situation and saying that I will let them sleep for a reasonable time and bring them in as soon as I see fit.

AIBU to do this?

I should add that their attendance record is otherwise excellent.

OP posts:
Mintychoc1 · 09/07/2019 10:27

I’d have woken them up and sent them to school.

bingbongnoise · 09/07/2019 10:29

@shesgrownhorns

MEH, it's end of term, and nothing much is going on, and the schools drop in days off whenever it suits for 'inset days' and have long holidays, (compared to most other professions.) And some schools are even thinking of dropping a day, and making the 'school week' a 4 day week.

So YANBU.

The school won't like it though. The students are only allowed to have time off/miss out on their education on THEIR terms...

As an aside, how lovely for your children, to be growing up on a farm! Grin I know quite a few people (maybe 12-13 people, from five different families,) who grew up on a farm, and every single one of them LOVED it, and have some wonderful childhood memories... Also agree that there is more to life, and 'learning,' than being stuck in a classroom (especially on a hot day!)

Personally I would keep them off til September! Grin I have always thought the summer holiday should start on 1st July, not 3 weeks later. I genuinely think that the summer holiday should be 9-10 weeks, not 6, though I do get that it may cause problems for families where both parents work (re; childcare...)

Finally, you can tell who the people are on here who don't live rural! Wink As a few posters have said, only us country folk understand where the OP is coming from!! Grin

bingbongnoise · 09/07/2019 10:29

@CountFosco

@CountFosco

I grew up in a farming community, 90% of my classmates were from farms, and my brother still farms. I do remember the fun of harvest time (and in the far north the men would work all night because it never got dark).

But boys in particular in farming communities get their education very disrupted by this kind of thing (because it's never just a one off, it's helping out at lambing time, or sillage, or the barley, or the tattie picking, or going to the bull sale every) which leads to lower attainment, a disengagement in their education and the closing off of opportunities as they get older. Don't do that to your children, make sure they see you valuing their formal education. They can help but still make it to school the next day.

That is NOT what is happening here. Hmm

And it also never happened to any of the people I know who grew up on farms.

MysweetAudrina · 09/07/2019 10:29

Perfectly fine and bringing them up to understand what a hard days work looks like. Probably way more beneficial to them in the long run compared to whatever they will have missed this morning in school. Let them have their lie in and hope your hay was saved.

Mintychoc1 · 09/07/2019 10:31

If the idea is to show them what work looks like, then all the more reason to wake them up for school and not allow a lie-I’m!

sleepingbelvi · 09/07/2019 10:33

Perfectly fine and bringing them up to understand what a hard days work looks like

Im not really sure that works since they were given a long lie the next day rather than just being woken up to get on with their usual day Grin

IceRebel · 09/07/2019 10:33

And some schools are even thinking of dropping a day, and making the 'school week' a 4 day week.

That's because budget cuts mean they can't actually afford to cover staff to take PPA time.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 09/07/2019 10:38

10 and 11 and they didn't eat until after 10pm, sorry yes YABU. I understand children helping out, but that it far to much at such a young age.

It's absolutely fine, doubt their parents left them starve!
Kids in other countries manage to be healthy and happy with a different schedule than the "must eat at 4pm go to bed at 6pm" Brit brigade!

It's the very last few weeks of the school year, it's a one-off, they have learnt a lot more working as a family than they would if they had been put in bed in the afternoon.

As long as you know there's no school trip, exams or anything special, it's nice to let them sleep in a bit later for once.

I also agree, schools should have stopped by now, private schools have. Children shouldn't be stuck at school in July, it's ridiculous.

Hsmumma · 09/07/2019 10:38

I think you’re asking the wrong people as most people don’t understand what it’s like hay bailing, it’s not like you can leave it for the weekend as it’s totally weather dependant.
I grew up on a farm and even now if it’s mowing/bailing time everything still gets put on hold as farms don’t get a day off. Even if the school don’t understand I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all. My fondest memories are of this time of year growing up on the farm and helping.

miaCara · 09/07/2019 10:42

YANBU . This is an important time for your family and the farm. The Dc are growing up immersed in the farming way of life and need to be as useful as their age and abilities dictate.
As PP said, in another part of the country the schools are already closed for summer. Why should your DC miss out on the opportunity to be helpful and join in on a family task when all they are missing is one morning of end of term school?

historysock · 09/07/2019 10:43

It's absolutely fine. It's a day off school and they are helping out in a way that is still educational for them in a different way.
Good for them.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 10:45

@countfosco Yes I very much agree. I would never make it a regular thing.

OP posts:
krustykittens · 09/07/2019 10:48

YANBU. It's different for us as I hire someone to cut and wrap haylage for me (I have no machinery and no hay barn so it has to be stored outside), otherwise we would be in the same boat. They are still quite young and need their sleep.

Mintychoc1 · 09/07/2019 10:49

To be honest this is all a bit “look at us special farming people, you townies wouldn’t understand”. I live in a rural area surrounded by farm land. The kids do their bit but they always go to school.
Poor average attendance figures are just another stick that the government use to beat schools, so I support the local school by only keeping my kids home if they’re genuinely ill.
Real life means that late night = tired in the morning. That’s a proper life lesson.

ZillaPilla · 09/07/2019 10:58

The schools around here grant permission for farming families to take holiday in term time because they can't go away during the summer holidays due to the harvest. This isn't much different really.

I can't get worried about this sort of thing for primary aged kids.

adaline · 09/07/2019 11:03

I don't think them staying up to help is the problem, but at 10 and 11 I would expect them to be up for school as usual. They can cope with a few hours less sleep as a one-off and get an early night the next day.

Rockhopper81 · 09/07/2019 11:03

MEH, it's end of term, and nothing much is going on, and the schools drop in days off whenever it suits for 'inset days' and have long holidays, (compared to most other professions.) And some schools are even thinking of dropping a day, and making the 'school week' a 4 day week.

This is totally unrelated to the OPs question: school's don't "drop in days off when it suits for 'inset days'" - INSET days are generally planned in before the year starts, or at least for the first two terms, and often are worked around when outside training is available or in-house training would be most effective; and schools aren't thinking of dropping a day for the fun of it, it's because of budget cuts - the reason some schools only do 4.5 days now is because teachers are all having their PPA (preparation, planning and assessment) time on a Friday afternoon, so they don't have to pay for cover, because they can't afford it.

For what it's worth - not a lot, I realise - but I think the OP was absolutely right to let the children sleep in, as well as helping out last night. It's what rural families do, and they'll have learnt a lot more from it than the equivalent they'll have missed this morning.

But please don't slate schools for things that are increasingly out of their control, especially not on a thread that's not about it.

xotyl · 09/07/2019 11:07

This is exactly what the long summer holiday was originally supposed to be for, to help out at harvest etc. It just happens that things are happening earlier and earlier. Think your dc are very lucky and will treasure these memories.

sleepingbelvi · 09/07/2019 11:07

Real life means that late night = tired in the morning. That’s a proper life lesson.

This ^

ifonly4 · 09/07/2019 11:11

Haybaling is damn hard work, so no wonder they're tired.

Just something to think about for next year, your 11 year old will be a comp/grammar. There will be the pressure of a lot more homework which has to be submitted on time, also the school aren't going to tolerate them being late in for anything other than illness, hospital appointments and family crisis.

MrsGideon · 09/07/2019 11:11

@shesgrownhorns What did the school say this morning about them being late in?

I think it's fine for a one off, particularly at the end of term. Kids are put under way too much pressure nowadays!

FanFckingTastic · 09/07/2019 11:12

School attendance is very important and I think that everyone here is in agreement on this point. I do think however that we need to put this into perspective. The OP's kids are not missing school today, just going in a little bit later than usual. Their attendance figures are not going to be massively affected by missing a morning and the positives - learning responsibility, practical skills, team work etc - far outweigh any negatives.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2019 11:13

Yanbu
Getting the hay in is important for not just you as a family but the livestock and community at large, who depend on it. This is far more important than a missed morning if school.

It was physical work TIL10pm. Then needing to eat. Different from going to the theatre or some such. So no, you should not have woken them.

reluctantbrit · 09/07/2019 11:13

DD had her annual dance show Saturday and Sunday. Both nights meant we were home after 10pm, with some food and shower and calming down after an adrenaline high it was midnight when she was in bed on both days.

Monday she was up as usual at 6.30am for school.

I may be harsh but that's life for me. I do understand that farming is a business, not a hobby but if you include the children for a night than I would send them to school.

Lllot5 · 09/07/2019 11:15

Be interesting to see what the school say.