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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting them sleep in

128 replies

shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:27

All the family including the kids were hay baling last night until 10pm. It was all hands on deck since rain is forecast for today which would be very detrimental to the process if we left it half done. It was getting towards midnight when we all got to bed.

Needless to say the kids were still absolutely fast asleep at the usual get up time, so I've let them sleep in. I've phoned the school and left a message on the absences voicemail explaining the situation and saying that I will let them sleep for a reasonable time and bring them in as soon as I see fit.

AIBU to do this?

I should add that their attendance record is otherwise excellent.

OP posts:
Ohdearthefootball · 09/07/2019 09:49

Bloody brilliant! Love the poster saying you shouldn't bale hay on a school night, like it works that way! 😆

NationMcKinley · 09/07/2019 09:49

Can’t see the problem. It’s the end of term and it sounds great fun plus they’re involved in something that’s a family effort. Not like they were up half the night gaming. My children missed 2 days of school last year for a big family wedding the other end of the country - they also have a great attendance record and the HT was more than happy for them to have the time off as he knew they’d have a great time with their extended family.

Please can I come and help next year? Smile

orangeshoebox · 09/07/2019 09:50

haybayling is one of my best childhood memories.
preferably in a rush because a big black cloud is rolling in.

but we were never allowed to miss school because of a late night. weekends were for catching up on sleep!

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:51

We're quite suburban here so in the minority as far as things like this are concerned. Hence my self consciousness at keeping them at home for a bit.

OP posts:
Backstabbath · 09/07/2019 09:52

I live in a big city, but even I know that in rural and farming areas there are some jobs that rely on all the family mucking in and that if the forecast is bad the jobs cannot wait till the weekend.

Bet the kids loved it and YANBU.

IncrediblySadToo · 09/07/2019 09:54

It’s fine.

Family Stuff like that is far better/more I
Pirtabt ti s childs well being than a couple of hours of school - especially this time of year

People keep their kids home for far less

Childhood experiences and the memories of them will be with your kids forever, don’t feel even slightly guilty 🌷🐝

GeorgiaGirl52 · 09/07/2019 09:56

In our farming community students were allowed 10 days excused absence during harvest season. It seems very reasonable to me.

Herocomplex · 09/07/2019 09:58

can I ask townie questions? Is hay being cut early this year? I was in France last week and the fields were full of bales, and I was thinking it was early. And is it still expensive? Will you get another lot this season? I know there’s been a few bad years. Thanks!

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:58

"In our farming community students were allowed 10 days excused absence during harvest season. It seems very reasonable to me."

How wonderful! That would ease my consternation considerably!

I really appreciate everyone's input here, thank you.

OP posts:
feathermucker · 09/07/2019 09:58

It's one day, don't worry about it.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 10:00

@Herocomplex Yes it's pretty standard to be about this time. Some people do more than one cut on a field, but it depends on the field really. Ours will only be one, as we like a bit of growth for grazing later.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 09/07/2019 10:05

I live in rural Australia and there are a lot of vineyards here. The kids from the vineyards or farms are allowed time off during harvest or other busy times.

The schools here also offer one round of work experience in primary industries...it's important for kids who're growing up around farming to understand how it works.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all OP.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/07/2019 10:06

I have let my DC have a duvet day before now if we have been out late for some reason. They are young and they won’t fail their GCSE’s because they missed a day near the end of the summer term in Primary school

Herocomplex · 09/07/2019 10:07

Thank you!

mogtheexcellent · 09/07/2019 10:09

Sounds amazing. My 5 year old would have loved it. She was awake till gone ten anyhow Hmm.

She's learning to drive her dads tractor at weekends and will no doubt be helping once she is older Grin

VladmirsPoutine · 09/07/2019 10:10

Yanbu. Learning happens in other places other than school. It's not as though they spent the evening playing video games. All that said, I have no idea what it is you all were doing but I have a rough idea and they'll probably be all the more better for it.

MayFayner · 09/07/2019 10:14

I wouldn’t think twice about letting them sleep in.

In Ireland the secondary schools finish at the end of May, so 3 months holidays. This is traditionally to enable DC to work on farms (even though the majority don’t any more, long holidays are still in force). I think every secondary school teacher in the land would leave the job if the holidays were reduced 😂

Primary age DC finish end of June.

Maryann1975 · 09/07/2019 10:15

I completely agree the dc should have been involved. It’s the family business and that needs to continue to put food on the table and clothes on their backs. If there are jobs that the dc can do to help, then yes, they should be involved. You have taught them valuable skills about team work and pulling together in times of need and how the real world works (ie you have to work to get money), given them lots of exercise and fresh air. Far better than them sitting in the house on their x box.

So what if they didn’t get a proper meal until 10.30, presumably they were well snacked and any how, they won’t die from starvation from waiting a few hours for a meal as a one off. Same with having a late night, it’s fine. It’s obvious from your post this is a one off or you wouldn’t be so worried about it. Let them sleep in and don’t worry about it. You can’t learn everything you need to know in a school, despite what some people think!

Bobbyflay · 09/07/2019 10:19

@Ohdearthefootball Bloody brilliant! Love the poster saying you shouldn't bale hay on a school night, like it works that way! 😆

I’m well aware that baling hay may have. to be done on a school night. It doesn’t mean that children should be doing it on a school night.

WellErrr · 09/07/2019 10:22

I’m well aware that baling hay may have. to be done on a school night. It doesn’t mean that children should be doing it on a school night.

What should the kids do then whilst everyone else is baling?

It’s fine OP. We do this all the time. School is rural so they understand. And these are the things your kids will remember!

LightTripper · 09/07/2019 10:24

Sounds like a part of their childhood they'll always remember fondly. And one day late to school aged 10 and 11 is not a big deal. YANBU.

Etino · 09/07/2019 10:24

Sounds idyllic!

Ohdearthefootball · 09/07/2019 10:25

Bobby they'll probably end up running the farm one day, it's a totally different scenario to an urban one, of course they should be out there helping and would hate not to I imagine.

CountFosco · 09/07/2019 10:25

I'm going to be the voice of dissent.

I grew up in a farming community, 90% of my classmates were from farms, and my brother still farms. I do remember the fun of harvest time (and in the far north the men would work all night because it never got dark).

But boys in particular in farming communities get their education very disrupted by this kind of thing (because it's never just a one off, it's helping out at lambing time, or sillage, or the barley, or the tattie picking, or going to the bull sale every) which leads to lower attainment, a disengagement in their education and the closing off of opportunities as they get older. Don't do that to your children, make sure they see you valuing their formal education. They can help but still make it to school the next day.

whothedaddy · 09/07/2019 10:27

Attendance records in school are absolute bollocks anyway. Why on earth we put pressure on children to achieve something that isn't the be all and end all.

Obviously you are in a farming community. Learning practical hands on stuff in their environment is far more vital to your kids than anything they will learn in the classroom.

Our whole education system is massively flawed and impractical. I'd rather my child have life skills than learn about the wives of Henry the eight or what pi is.

For what it's worth my DD missed school yesterday as we went away for the weekend. Instead of whatever they do in the last couple of weeks before summer in year 4 she reached the summit of 2 mountains.