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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting them sleep in

128 replies

shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:27

All the family including the kids were hay baling last night until 10pm. It was all hands on deck since rain is forecast for today which would be very detrimental to the process if we left it half done. It was getting towards midnight when we all got to bed.

Needless to say the kids were still absolutely fast asleep at the usual get up time, so I've let them sleep in. I've phoned the school and left a message on the absences voicemail explaining the situation and saying that I will let them sleep for a reasonable time and bring them in as soon as I see fit.

AIBU to do this?

I should add that their attendance record is otherwise excellent.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2019 11:16

reluctant
So did dd and a dance exam yesterday. Dancing is somewhat different to physical work. Dd was expected to get up for her exam in the morning and attend school in the afternoon.

steppemum · 09/07/2019 11:16

good grief some people are precious.

I think it is gfreat that you all mucked in to get an important job done. they had their roles, which they did, proper jobs that they can feel proud of.
They worked to help the family and had the satisfaction and reward of a job well done.

So, as a one off they arrived home late, probably all sat round the kitchen table, being you-know family while they ate, and then packed off to bed.

I'm actually a bit jealous of you being able to offer this to your kids. They will never forget it, and they have learnt all sorts of important lessons.

I woudl let them sleep, and I wouldn't care if they got an unauthorised abscence. And I am a teacher.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 09/07/2019 11:18

but if you include the children for a night than I would send them to school.

no need to make such strict rules for children, better to play it by hear.
Sometimes you wake them up, sometimes you let them sleep because you think it's best for them.

Kids are tired and over excited at the moment, it's too late for the schools to still go on. It won't hurt to have a lie-in, and I am guessing there's no such things as weekends in a farm in the peak season!

JacquesHammer · 09/07/2019 11:20

Totally fine OP - I wouldn't give it a second thought. There's so many more ways to learn than in a classroom, especially at this time in Summer term!

DD had a day off a few weeks ago to help throughout the day getting ready for her dance show. She did lighting, rehearsing, costume prep, make-up etc and had an amazing day. School were perfectly sensible and gave her authorised absence.

Chovihano · 09/07/2019 11:22

They will probably have learned more than they would at school. I agree with a pp unless you have experienced living rurally you might not get it.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 09/07/2019 11:23

School were perfectly sensible and gave her authorised absence.

I so wish we could remove the attendance rate from the ofsted nonsense, and let the heads use their common sense about days off.

Parents going to magaluf on a cheaper deals might still moan that their absence is not authorised but for many parents, a bit of common sense would go a long way!

notacooldad · 09/07/2019 11:23

I wouldn't have a problem with it!
My son ( not school age) has been bailing this weekend with his college pals
It's a case of all hands to the deck! You are a family and need to pull together. It's not like you do it every night of the week!

ControversialFerret · 09/07/2019 11:24

YANBU.

I grew up in a farming community. Some posters don't realise that farming is a family business and that all capable hands are needed when you are working against the weather! It's one late morning against an otherwise excellent attendance record. They'll be fine.

Crinkle77 · 09/07/2019 11:24

YABU. I grew up in a farm and always had to help out when it was busy. However we wouldn't have been kept up until that late on a school night at 10 and 11.

StCharlotte · 09/07/2019 11:25

Wasn't that the whole point of school summer holidays - so children could help with harvest etc? You've clearly peaked too soon OP Grin

When I lived in a rural village, seeing the tractors etc working in the dark was always quite exciting.

steppemum · 09/07/2019 11:26

the schools drop in days off whenever it suits for 'inset days'

bollocks.
The school has a set number of INSET days that they are required by law to have for staff training. When they were introduced they were called baker days and came off the annual holiday allowance, so basically it is 5 days of your school holiday spread through the year. The teachers lost 5 days holiday allowance as they work on inset days.

Which is one reason that schools now finish so late in July, the holiday is 5 days shorter.

The inset days are set at the beginning of the year so parents can plan for them.

Karigan195 · 09/07/2019 11:31

Sorry but I think YABU. We were baling too but the kids were still packed off to bed at a reasonable time.

People keeping kids off to help with family business/ farming etc is exactly one of the reasons laws came about to ensure kids got schooling instead.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 09/07/2019 11:33

YANBU. Education isn't limited to the four walks of a school.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 09/07/2019 11:34

WALLS. Walls of a school Grin

separatebeds · 09/07/2019 11:35

YANBU at all. Sounds like great fun and a real life lesson in running a business and getting the job done. Be proud that your children are learning and understanding about real life, team work and hitting deadlines.

NeatFreakMama · 09/07/2019 11:36

I'd have sent them to school at the usual time. They're old enough to deal with one late night.

Terrysyogurt · 09/07/2019 11:39

I think it's brilliant, more to life etc... Lucky kids.

woodenplank · 09/07/2019 11:43

Pleased to see that so many people appreciate the tight timescales that agriculture works to. My DS14 took the day off school yesterday to bale hay - he should've been doing a 10k sponsored walk but had just done the DofE expedition at the weekend so it was a win win - no need to walk on blistered feet (or stay at school with badly behaved kids) and hay was in the shed by 6. No schooling missed.

woodenplank · 09/07/2019 11:45

I guess the other farming/baling mumsnetters commenting are using the rain for an office/admin day - it's not going well is it? Or are you pretending that the messing on mumsnet is a tea break type of thing?

sleepingbelvi · 09/07/2019 11:48

Ok I said earlier YABU, because kids at 10 & 11 should be able to handle a late night. I live in Scotland where we don't have the ridiculous problem of authorised absence and fines, so my reasoning isn't school targets.

After reason more replies I'm actually baffled at so many posters dressing it up as a work/life lesson. A true way to teach hard work is to crack on with the next day after said hard work, so let's not dress it up as some sort of superior lesson. It's a couple of kids having a long lie, whether it's necessary or not doesn't really matter, but it sure as hell isn't teaching them how to run a business.

ilovecherries · 09/07/2019 11:49

Where I grew up in rural Scotland in the 60s the two week October holidays (tattie holidays), were extended anything up to two weeks if the potato crop hadn’t been fully harvested. Kids were completely essential to the process. I still remember it fondly, but can’t remember much else I did at school, to be honest. So it’s def NOT unreasonable to me.

ilovecherries · 09/07/2019 11:51

Although, thinking back, while we got time off school for farm work, we weren’t allowed a lie in to recover! So I may have turfed them out the door this morning.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/07/2019 11:52

Sounds fair enough to me given that:
they are primary age and it's the last few days of term, so unlikely to be missing anything major.
kids learn other useful things outside the classroom
they wanted to join in.

OP sounds sensible anyway, so will presumably adapt if the DC get to a stage where they themselves feel they would be missing something major, or if one of them starts to think that farming is not their destiny after all.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 09/07/2019 11:59

A true way to teach hard work is to crack on with the next day after said hard work, so let's not dress it up as some sort of superior lesson

Grin Grin Grin

they are 10 and 11!

I am lot older and I still go to work later when I had to work especially late one evening, or even when I come back late from holiday. It is not always possible, but when it is I sure won't hesitate.

Pythonesque · 09/07/2019 11:59

When children have a valid reason to be sleeping in it makes sense to let them sleep and get them to school when they are awake and ready to concentrate for the rest of the day. As long as there aren't specific things that they shouldn't be missing - which is specfic to the time of year and stage of school amongst other factors.

My son was a chorister and at that age definitely could not get up for school as usual if he was up past 10 at night for a concert (though sometimes he woke up anyway and didn't get the catch up sleep he needed till a few days later). When there were school night events we would be told to bring them in late the next morning. But equally, especially in year 5 (first year of full music commitments but he was still only 9), it was absolutely acceptable for us to take him late if he was tired. Since he was usually an early waker unless he was ill, I stuck to "if he's asleep he must need it, I'm leaving him". It only happened occasionally anyway. It wasn't possible for all parents to do this but I was based at home anyway so could facilitate taking him in late.