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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting them sleep in

128 replies

shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 09:27

All the family including the kids were hay baling last night until 10pm. It was all hands on deck since rain is forecast for today which would be very detrimental to the process if we left it half done. It was getting towards midnight when we all got to bed.

Needless to say the kids were still absolutely fast asleep at the usual get up time, so I've let them sleep in. I've phoned the school and left a message on the absences voicemail explaining the situation and saying that I will let them sleep for a reasonable time and bring them in as soon as I see fit.

AIBU to do this?

I should add that their attendance record is otherwise excellent.

OP posts:
Karigan195 · 09/07/2019 12:00

@woodenplank personally it’s because I have another job too and am bored stiff at the tedious task I’m supposed to be doing.....

jellycatspyjamas · 09/07/2019 12:01

also the school aren't going to tolerate them being late in for anything other than illness, hospital appointments and family crisis.

The school has little choice in this, as the child’s parent it’s up to me to decide whether my child can reasonably be expected to go to school in whatever circumstances, be that family emergency, illness or whatever. They have a process to follow if they think I’m being neglectful but the idea that it’s the schools role to “tolerate” my decision making in relation to my children is an utter nonsense.

Before anyone suggests my kids aren’t in school, their attendance is consistently 98%+ but if I think they aren't able to be at school I expect the school to respect my decision making.

Bagadverts · 09/07/2019 12:09

Not rural, sounds amazing. How does hay baling work, is it automated? - what would the children and you be doing? (The things we learnt in school were all about farm hands being sacked and cart horses going when combine harvesters came in.)
I’m surprised H&S don’t get involved or is the children’s bit easy?

trackingmedown · 09/07/2019 12:12

OMG! Unpaid child labour into the night and then neglecting their education. Someone alert the proper authorities!

Neeamhee · 09/07/2019 12:14

I can't see a problem here, wouldn't think twice about keeping them off, and my children do extremely well academically and have almost perfect attendance!

TheDarkPassenger · 09/07/2019 12:16

I’m going to assume they will be inheriting the farm so even if you didn’t need their help that specific time I can imagine they need to know the ins and outs of it anyway. YADNBU however I can understand that those who have nothing to do with farming are outraged by this, they just won’t understand.

Rachelover40 · 09/07/2019 12:16

I think it's great. I'm not sure I would have give the school the full reason, might just have said - vaguely - they're a bit below par this morning, asleep at the moment, but will bring them in later if they perk up. That wouldn't be a lie.

Hay bailing aye? I hope they enjoyed it. I itch, have sore eyes and sneeze at the very thought :-) but good luck to you and them. It sounds great!

happybunny007 · 09/07/2019 12:23

YANBU to let them stay up late for the hay. But frankly you could have got them up to go to school.

krustykittens · 09/07/2019 12:25

woodenplanks I have two horses to ride in the rain, poo picking to be done on their field, mucking out and feeding and my two daughters have the same work load. This evening I will be doing the office-based job that brings in income because like a lot of smallholdings, it doesn't provide enough to live on. So yes, this is my tea break.

bobstersmum · 09/07/2019 12:36

Perfectly fine. I know that farm work is a family job, your children were learning and doing an important job.

nokidshere · 09/07/2019 12:42

I'm not rural but I can't see a problem with this. As a one off though mine would have been fine to go to school and catch up on sleep later tonight.

ScatteredMama82 · 09/07/2019 12:45

@shesgrownhorns I think it is awesome that your kids get to muck in with the farming. Honestly, I bet it was a great adventure. I totally disagree with all these comments about it being too late on a school night, them skipping dinner etc. Memories of haybaling night will stay with them forever, and YANBU to let them sleep in either.

PS, can you adopt me, I want to go hay baling!!

Yabbers · 09/07/2019 12:57

YABU to expect them to do hay baling on a school night
Said nobody who has ever lived on a working farm.

OP, not unreasonable at all. These things happen and one day off school isn’t going to fail them. People are pulling kids out of school at this point for a week in Majorca, and many people think that’s entirely ok.

ElizaPancakes · 09/07/2019 12:59

Can’t see an issue with it, especially as it’s the last two weeks of school. Mine are already on wind down, no homework and lots of fun stuff. One day off isn’t going to hurt.

Karigan195 · 09/07/2019 13:01

@ScatteredMama82 ha you’d find it fun for all of 30mins. It’s hot usually dusty work. The hay scratches any exposed skin. It’s heavy if you need to stack or throw into trailers etc. And it’s bloody gruelling.

We try and make it fun with taking out cold beers, snacks and personally I find hay bale Jenga on the tractor amusing but as idyllic as it sounds you’d hate it pretty quickly.

notacooldad · 09/07/2019 13:02

YABU to expect them to do hay baling on a school night

Said nobody who has ever lived on a working farm🤣🤣🤣🤣

Seahorseshoe · 09/07/2019 13:16

Sounds like an annual event, not a weekly/monthly one. Yanbu.

ElGuardiandenoche · 09/07/2019 13:46

YANBU it’s all hands to the deck obviously.

@shesgrownhornscan I ask what a gator is? Sounds intriguing.

anothernamereally · 09/07/2019 14:08

Piling in to say don't give it another thought, it's primary and they're late not absent all week- I'm a city girl but even I get that you have to 'make hay when the sun shines'

buckeejit · 09/07/2019 16:23

Yadnbu. Although most on MN are unlikely to understand farming needs.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 17:43

@ElGuardiandenoche Here is a posh one - ours is nowhere near this swanky...

It's a little 4 x 4 golf buggy style vehicle that's a bit of a workhorse, carries hay bales nicely!

www.deere.com/en/gator-utility-vehicles/

OP posts:
glueandstick · 09/07/2019 17:47

Totally reasonable to do it. They’ll learn more from that than a morning at school.

If th government can cut costs by closing schools early on a Friday then the education argument is a bit thin. Along with teacher training days during the school week, allowing teachers unpaid leave during term time, closing schools for polling stations and all the rest that interrupts the school week then I can’t see how it is actually that vital to be there the whole time.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 09/07/2019 17:54

Thank you everyone. And to all that want adopting, please pm me we could use each and every one of you!

Well, Dh took the kids in at about 11am. All good. My dd was greeted cheerily by her teacher who asked how she was. She told him she was a little achey but fine. She made it for her lunchtime flute lesson so that was good.

As for ds, I'm not sure how his arrival went as he legged it off in the pouring rain to help with securing the tarps over the hay with his dad. Knowing his teacher though, he will want to know all about it. His teacher is lovely and supportive so fingers crossed I won't get a rollocking at the next parent's evening !

I'm surplus to requirements in the field now so I've got everyone's dinner ready. I don't think it'll be a late one tonight.

It has been lovely to read all your comments which have been hugely supportive. Pretty much all of you have said I'm not BU but those who have said that I am... I take your points too.

Thank you, everyone.

OP posts:
yorkshirecountrylass · 09/07/2019 17:58

YADNBU! Baling is one of the most important times of the year - setting you up for the whole year ahead. It's bl**dy hard work and amazing fun all at the same time. There's far more to life than books, kids should learn about nature and her cycles. Let them enjoy it while they can, I hope you got a good crop

MrsWombat · 09/07/2019 18:11

For something like this, the head in my school might authorise it as "educated elsewhere" if they did some catch-up work at the weekend. Normally a few worksheets. Sounds like a lot of fun, as long as their attendance doesn't drop below the dreaded 96%. Enjoy!