AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Im sorry but you sound like one of those parents who treat their children like they’re completely fragile. It’s really damaging.

I don’t agree with the boys behaviour at all and I really don’t agree with parents who just sit and don’t know where or what their kids are upto when at soft play but to say perfectly normal (to a point) child behaviour was frightening is a bit of a leap for me.

It’s not nice, but frightening? Nah.

"AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?"

Yes please do, and take your stuck up, sexist attitude with you, mainstream society has enough that thanks.

Jellybeansincognito

You think I can’t tell when my child is scared? You think I can’t tell when other children are scared as well?

Myfoolishboatisleaning

Maybe you are. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Op my son is 2 years and 5 months, he’s not very verbal either but understands how to say no and move and has done so in soft play environments.

Id consider myself a helicopter parent but you sound worse than me. Your daughter won’t learn if you keep talking for her.

Jellybeansincognito

I’m glad for you.

I’m telling you your parenting reminds me of someone’s who is damagingly overprotective and that you’re not doing your daughter any favours in your reactions to normal behaviours.

If your daughter is scared of other children acting like children that is a bit concerning isn’t it? It’s not nice for children to shout at other children but for your child to be scared of that is also a worry too?

Funnily enough I was at a little soft play on the weekend and a little girl was running around causing chaos. She pushed over both my little boys (18months) repeatedly. She was making kids cry everywhere. Her parents were no where to be seen.
It’s poor parenting, nothing to do with whether they are boys or girls. I do not let my boys push other children or run up the slide if other kids are about.

Maybe wait til your daughter is 13 then pop back and tell us who is worse - boys or girls. They might be little toddler angels at soft play but a lot of teenage girls are ruthless, spiteful little madams, you and your daughter better toughen up before that. You are such a stereotypical mother of a girl, boys get unfairly judged.

Jellybeansincognito

Thanks for your opinion. I disagree with you. I think a child under 3 who is stuck in a tunnel with two screaming, much bigger kids refusing to let her out and physically shoving and climbing on her is perfectly entitled to be scared. If it is “damagingly overprotective” to intervene in those circumstances, then I’m a monkey’s uncle. 🙈

YANBU! I was at a play group last week and much older boy hit my DD on her head whilst we were playing. I looked up for the boys mother and she simply said “no” to him. I was livid and told him off myself.

So sick of lazy parents more interested in their phones than supervising their children.

As a mother of 3 sons ( and 1 girl ) I can agree it is more often then not boys , If there is a wrong way to do something then they would do it , not out of spite , but just because they could ...so I was on permanent alert !! and would stop them climbing up slides the wrong way

YANBU OP

I have 3 boys and 1 girl. My observations also say it's nearly always boys!

HOWEVER, it has nothing to do with them being boys, it's the way some people parent boys. 'Boys will be boys' and that bullshit.

You snobs should go to higher class institutions where you pay a fee so your angelic perfect children avoid the riffraff.
The do however have boys in the outer hebrides.
Teach your child some resilience so she doesnt inherit your snowflake, superior nature.
I hope you didn't post this on your phone whilst supposed to be caring for your child-you'd be as bad as them, couldn't have that!!

Its very very easy, op. For you to sit there smug about your prefect child.
However in reality you have no idea of how she will turn out. You'll probably hit back with. Well I'm bringing her up properly, which I don't doubt you are, but Its not always due to up bringing, is it.
How many families do you hear of. Where they don't even know they've got one child and the other child brings nothing but trouble to the door.
They've obviously been brought the same way, so where are you

Ooo high 5 Pelirocco

I hope you didn't post this on your phone whilst supposed to be caring for your child-you'd be as bad as them, couldn't have that!!

I am indeed on my phone. She’s asleep.

Nice try though. 👍

Myfoolishboatisleaning Mon 08-Jul-19 15:21:14
My non-shy 3 year old would have told those boys to stop herself, maybe I am better at parenting than you?

Or more likely you aren't

Awwlookatmybabyspider

Of course I have no idea. Others have (sarcastically) called her “perfect”, not me. But what I do know is that when she is naughty, I intervene. So far so good.

Op has a point. Boys are raised totally differently to girls, whether people want to accept that or not. The majority of violence is committed by men in the world, that mentality has to stem from somewhere. “Boys will be boys” is such a damaging way to raise children. Where a girl might be told off for shouting/running/pushing, a little boy will be seen as ring boisterous or ‘burning off energy’. And so, yes, most of the over the top children I meet are male.

And calling someone’s toddler a pansy is fucking awful. Everyone is different, you don’t have to be bolshy to get by. And not being confidant and able to stick up for yourself at 3 isn’t going to lead to life of being a doormat. The replies on this thread! Honestly

It’s nothing to do with them being boys, it’s to do with them not being told how to behave properly. I have a 2.5 year old son and I would not accept this behaviour from him and he knows how to take turns and be kind to others. It’s sexist nonsense. It is annoying to see other people not correcting their children’s bad behaviour but you can’t shelter your child from everything and everyone. Unfortunately part of life is also learning how to deal with other people and problem solve/develop a thicker skin and that’s coming from a mother of a naturally shy child.
I will also have a 1 year old daughter who is learning how to follow instructions and what behaviour is and isn’t acceptable. They are however by no means perfect and I also doubt your daughter is either OP.

So many stupid replies on this thread. Just parent your children so they learn to behave!

but you’ve intervened and took hold of the situation to the point your child won’t learn any social skills from it. If it happens again (which it probably will in a range of scenarios) she’ll probably just be as scared or spend her life relying on you.

That’s what I’m saying- in general. Because you’re coming across as a precious mum. Based on your whole OP and other comments anyway.

Personally, I’d have told the boys to let my child out and told my child that whilst the other children’s behaviour wasn’t very nice my child hasn’t done anything wrong, and to keep playing.

Some children aren’t very nice, the younger your child realises this the better. My 4 year old daughter just walks away from situations with horrible children now, completely unphased because I’ve never overdone it.

This is why you don’t go to soft play.

It’s the lazy parents park as everything is safe and they can have a coffee and Facebook while little Luke and Chardonnay run riot.

Boys are generally more likely to be let off with worse behaviour than girls though. As it’s not lady like or nice girls don’t do X/Y/Z is installed from an early age.

They are however by no means perfect and I also doubt your daughter is either OP.

She’s actually a cheeky, rather bolshy little madam when she wants to be, so of course she isn’t “perfect”. That’s other people projecting.