AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

My boys are a nightmare OP. I'm a shit parent. I really need someone like you who knows what they're talking about.

You called them entitled, and continued to say that children who are left unattended and allowed to play like that are entitled.

You can’t read. Get help.

FeistyWench

Not for all the tea, Feisty. I don’t need the money and wouldn’t do it for the laughs.

This is an interesting book about how many people make unwitting stereotypical assumptions about children based on their (assumed) sex, and what the research shows about what overall differences between the sexes actually exist:

www.amazon.co.uk/Pink-Brain-Blue-Differences-Troublesome/dp/1851687998/ref=asc_df_1851687998/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310852528311&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-536528959578&hvrand=2243890787423497347

Eyerolling at all the people pretending boy children and girl children are treated exactly the same by their caregivers. Yeah, right.

You really touched a nerve with a certain kind of parent, OP!

No they're not treated the same- people give boys too much licence and, undermine girls confidence by over protecting them.

The OP is as guilty of bad gendered parenting as anyone.

Your daughter would act the same if she had the confidence- don't be so smug.

She’d try. She wouldn’t be allowed to carry on.

People definitely treat boys and girls differently An . I find it bizarre. My friend has a boy with long hair and whenever he’s somewhere there’s a choice of stickers eg dentist they insist on offering him princess stickers, assuming he’s a girl but his brother gets superheroes.

The differences in how people treat the same babies when told they are a different sex in the book above are also astounding.

Boys and girls are generally different that’s why they are raised differently. There isn’t anything wrong with that.

I think it’s normal for kids to climb at slides.. I remember doing it. If I saw mine doing it while others were trying to come down I’d tell them to move.

OP I’m sorry your little girl had a hard time, I agree with you, some parents really do let their kids do whatever they want at soft play. My little boy has been slapped twice at soft play on separate occasions by little girls. He’s just turned two and it made me so angry to see the girls parents just sat ignoring it. Please don’t judge the sex of the child misbehaving, judge the parents of the child who are letting them do it.

Boys and girls are generally different that’s why they are raised differently.

Can you point out some innate behavioural differences please?

Please don’t judge the sex of the child misbehaving, judge the parents of the child who are letting them do it.

I’m not judging their sex.

No, you're judging their gender.

HTH

My family used to point out all the differences between DD1 and DS - put them all down to their sex. Then DD2 came along - and blew it all out the water.

Not all boys are boisterous - and some girls very much are.

I don't think it a universal parenting of boys to let them behave badly in public parks.

I've met parents who excuse bad behaviour in boys as boys will be boys and I've known mothers with poorly behaved DD who blame the school or teachers or group leaders for picking on their DD or complaining they can't handle a girl with a strong personality.

The OP had a bad experience – extrapolating to all boys, to those boys in the future or all parenting of boys is very odd.

Avoiding badly behaved children where you can isn't a bad aim though once they start school they mix with whoever is in their cohort.

Boys and girls are generally different that’s why they are raised differently.

In what ways? Individual children are different and should all be treated as individuals regardless of sex.

The OP had a bad experience – extrapolating to all boys, to those boys in the future or all parenting of boys is very odd.

It would be odd, if that were what I was doing. It isn’t.

As in, I am not saying all boys. At all.

But I certainly am extrapolating to these specific boys in the future. Unless they are taught manners, they won’t have any.

I've read your posts - it's come across as exactly what you are doing.

bigKiteFlying

Maybe to those who aren’t reading properly.

I've read your posts - it's come across as exactly what you are doing.

I read the same posts and it didn't come across that she's doing that at all. Strange.

@bigKiteFlying I’m in the ‘you can’t read’ group too.

Interesting tbh.

I don't think there is much parenting these days and too often the parents are always more engrossed in the phones to know whats going on. And yes boys are definitely more boisterous and its not being sexist saying that! Boys can be more rough and girls are more gentler. Simple observation!!

@nicky7654 observations aren’t always factually correct. Observations rely on perception and things are perceived differently for everyone.

It’s common for boys to be soft and gentle too.
You cannot judge a child on a snippet of behaviour, especially if that child is in an environment such as soft play.

These boys might indeed grow up to be entitled because of their parents not dealing with them. And your dd might gonna grow up with no friends if she takes after you.

Get off this thread op and move to a town with only girls

And your dd might gonna grow up with no friends if she takes after you.

Miaow.