AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Someone said that you called a 2 year old entitled because of their parents, you responded to that by saying no, you didn’t but the boys should have been better supervised and if they’re not supervised they will become entitled.

Your response didn’t make sense at all, you have juggled between boys being the issue and parents being the issue, then you’ve reverted to- the children will become an issue, even though according to you further down these kids are already entitled.

Don’t slate my comprehension when you clearly don’t have a clue what you’re saying.

Your response didn’t make sense at all, you have juggled between boys being the issue and parents being the issue, then you’ve reverted to- the children will become an issue, even though according to you further down these kids are already entitled.

I haven’t. Their behaviour isn’t their fault. It is their parents’ fault. Very soon they will be entitled, unless their parents step up.

Simple stuff.

‘And I am not particularly upset. I am annoyed, and not at the children.‘

So you’re annoyed at the parents? Even though a moment ago you said it’s not the parents fault?

‘I haven’t. Their behaviour isn’t their fault. It is their parents’ fault. Very soon they will be entitled, unless their parents step up.

Simple stuff’

I’d like to think it’s simple, but a moment ago someone just asked if you’re calling a 2 year old entitled because of their parents and you said no.

So you’re annoyed at the parents? Even though a moment ago you said it’s not the parents fault?

I’m really sorry, but either I am posting without knowing and missing or adding a word by error, or you’re reading something wrong. Not sure which. Can’t be bothered checking for you.

I’d like to think it’s simple, but a moment ago someone just asked if you’re calling a 2 year old entitled because of their parents and you said no.

Oh. I get it. You imagine they will always be two.

‘Oh. I get it. You imagine they will always be two’

No, not at all. You were talking in present form when you called a toddler an entitled bully. As in, already that. Not in the future without intervention.

You’ve got an answer for everything and tbh, you’ve embarrassed yourself now.

But you can't make people do what you want to do, you can't change people.

This is what I'm forever saying to my 9 year old. I don't understand why you haven't grasped this as an adult? Surely you've been in situations like this before? It is a serious question. I'm banging my head against the wall at the moment trying to teach this concept to my strong willed 9 year old.

This is what I'm forever saying to my 9 year old. I don't understand why you haven't grasped this as an adult? Surely you've been in situations like this before? It is a serious question. I'm banging my head against the wall at the moment trying to teach this concept to my strong willed 9 year old.

Sometimes we can influence others’ behaviour. How else does society change? I spoke to these boys’ mums - they looked embarrassed (fair enough). Maybe next time they will do something different. Maybe not. I am not sure what you think I haven’t grasped?

No, not at all. You were talking in present form when you called a toddler an entitled bully. As in, already that. Not in the future without intervention.

Quote?

But you are still keeping this thread alive so it does seem like it bothers you a lot.

But you are still keeping this thread alive so it does seem like it bothers you a lot.

Well, in a way. People parenting badly does bother me, when it affects my daughter. People calling my daughter names when she didn’t do a single thing wrong outright pisses me off, so that’s why I am still here, yes.

surely none of them were in the wrong, because they were toddlers playing, and noone got hurt?

surely none of them were in the wrong, because they were toddlers playing, and noone got hurt?

It was lucky no-one got hurt, and possibly only because I intervened. But if you let your toddlers run round a play area, hogging equipment, behaving in ways that upset other kids, without taking action, you are in the wrong.

I don't think any child did anything wrong here and your daughter wasn't waiting her turn. She went down when those boys were at the bottom and climbing up. So what?

See? If you want to apply adult standards of behaviour to toddlers it cuts both ways.

The whole point of soft play is to let off steam; run around, scream and shout and generally chuck themselves about like nutters. That is what it's for.

That's why it's all padded. Kids will occasionally land on each other, occasionally there will be tears. That's normal too- all a learning experience.

OP I wish I had as much time on my hands to post on Mumsnet as you seem to

Contradiction anyone?

How do you explain these OP?

Jellybeansincognito

😂

I can’t continue arguing with you in the face of black and white evidence to the exact contrary of what you are saying. You are clearly on the wind up.

The whole point of soft play is to let off steam; run around, scream and shout and generally chuck themselves about like nutters. That is what it's for.

Nope. It was a slide, not padded, not there for children to chuck themselves about like butters. Signs on the wall: do not climb up the slide (like anyone should need telling) and please supervise your children at all times. You are making excuses for bad parenting.

nutters

otoh children climbing up slides is annoying

otoh I would be very surprised if there doesn't come a day when your dd offends against some social rule because you forgot to teach her or she forgot what she was taught or she simply doesn't care

thinking you have to protect her against every child that doesn't always get things exactly right could leave her quite lonely

and what will you do when the day comes when she is that child?

That’s what we did do. Unfortunately the boys scrambled right back up again.

So you told them not to and they carried on, and you think they would magically stop if their parents asked them to?

With my child telling them to stop doesn't work, shouting makes it way worse, distracting rarely works. I have to physically remove them from a situation and I get beaten, hair-pulled and bitten for my trouble. So I'm only willing to do that if they're being violent. Not for prissy types who think they're a better parent than me because their child is shy. I was a shy child too, there are no guarantees.

31+ pages of people telling you that children learn empathy later, and that children learn best when left to sort it out between themselves (unless they're hitting etc) hasn't convinced you so I don't know why I'm bothering.

Crack on and move to the outer hebrides, I'm sure they'll welcome such a perfect parent with open arms.

and what will you do when the day comes when she is that child?

I’ll tell her to pack it in.

So are you- why not teach your daughter not to go down slides when there are other people on it?

Are you one of these people who tries to take a selfie with a lion and complains if their arm is bitten off?