AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Jellybeansincognito

May as well talk to a brick wall, no reasoning with with crazy

To sure where the additional *with came from

Here we go again, I'm glad you took a few hours off last night OP, presumably your DD was in bed then?

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend I know right. I’m not listening apparently. God forbid people read and interpret things differently.
It’s OPs way or the highway it seems, what a lonely life to lead.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

You’re not reading. You have mixed up the sentence I wrote with a rhetorical question asked by another poster, which itself was in response to a thing I didn’t say.

@francescadrake unless they’re boys?

Unless they’re boys what?

It’s hard to follow this discussion you guys are having. I go away for a few minutes and I come back and it’s like the thread has been hijacked by the ghost of Terry Pratchett.

Oh how convenient OP.

You said this ‘No, and no, you’re not listening. 2 year olds are babies. But when their parents neglect to supervise them and let them do what they want, that is how they become entitled‘

And I responded to that.
Not difficult really? You’ve managed to follow the thread thus far.

Oh come on, calling the OPs child a snowflake princess

This is getting unnecessarily goady. Plenty of people agree YANBU OP, I would leave the thread to die if I were you. Have no idea why people are getting their knickers in a twist over an observation which many of us share. Hilarious.

You said this ‘No, and no, you’re not listening. 2 year olds are babies. But when their parents neglect to supervise them and let them do what they want, that is how they become entitled‘

But not just the boys, no. If I neglected to supervise my daughter and encouraged her to climb up slides and hog equipment (by virtue of not stopping her) yes, of course she would become entitled. She wouldn’t learn about it being time for someone else to have a go. She would think other children should have to wait until she’s bored.

I want to live as far away from smug mums like you. Give me my boys any time. Looking forward to you in a few years when you’re overly involved in every single friend fall out. So pleased I’m over all this rubbish now and have my wonderful, gentle, funny, grown up sons.

@francescadrake but before you said.... do you know what, forget it.
🤦🏼‍♀️

Have no idea why people are getting their knickers in a twist over an observation which many of us share. Hilarious.

Because they genuinely believe my DD is a “princess”, despite her being the least demanding child I know. She is gentle and kind. She waits her turn. The only “princesses” I see are the kids who refuse to let someone else have a go. Again, not their faults - their parents’ faults. But one day these boys will be disrupting my daughter’s learning, and one day - although I hope not - they might be cutting her up in traffic, or worse, because their behaviour is being excused by sexists.

Give me my boys any time

I’m sure your boys are lovely. So is my daughter.

I have never seen the like of this.

As I have said before, the OP posted asking us if we thought she was being unreasonable. Some of us said we thought she was and proffered possible alternative points of view.

It is crystal clear that she definitely does not thing she was being unreasonable. About anything. That’s fair enough in a sense, as people had to make up their minds about their actions using their own common sense and instincts before the advent of anonymous internet fora.

But what I simply cannot get my head around is why she bothered to post in the first place, as she has proved she is more than capable of holding the courage of her convictions and does not want to listen to the many articulate and varied viewpoints on this thread, if those disagree with her view of the world.

I joined Mumsnet because I am genuinely interested in hearing other viewpoints on various scenarios. More often than you’d expect, OPs do actually consider what others have said. Those are genuine posters who have posted for a reason to find out what others think and seek their advice - perhaps so they can take appropriate action.

That’s not the case here; because of the. Largely because of the OP’s dogged and defensive attitude, this thread is a 30 page bun fight and nothing productive is to be gained from it. If I can work out how to switch it off and not return, I will.

iIf I can work out how to switch it off and not return, I will.

Try the button on the side.

FFS

You called 2 year olds entitled because of their parents!!!

I didn’t mix anything up!

Cannot reason with crazy, I’m off to work! >>>> have a spade OP, your going to need it, to try and “justify” dig yourself of all this nonsense (literally)

Piglet89 - agree

Crazy!!

Haven’t read the entire thread but have read a lot of OP bashing!

I think you are on the money. I have spent many years in playgrounds and soft plays and little boys do tend to be the kids that climb up the slides, knock over other kids etc etc. I have seen a few girls do this but the vast majority have been boys (I have both boys and girls). The reason they do this is because they can and because their parents/carers are not stopping them. Why more boys than girls - who knows! Testosterone?

It’s lazy parenting that’s really the issue. Most parents know when they have a boisterous kid who tends to do this and they should be on their case more but having a coffee and chat with your other mummy friends is a far easier option than monitoring your kid.

I’m afraid you are just going to have to teach your daughter how to deal with or avoid these kids or you will have to avoid soft plays/playgrounds altogether as these kids are everywhere!

You called 2 year olds entitled because of their parents!!!

Again, no. Those boys should have been better supervised. By the time they are old enough to go without supervision, if their behaviour isn’t corrected, they will be entitled.

I’m afraid you are just going to have to teach your daughter how to deal with or avoid these kids or you will have to avoid soft plays/playgrounds altogether as these kids are everywhere!

Sadly, I am having to teach her. We’re practising. But yes, it is lazy parenting.

‘You called 2 year olds entitled because of their parents!!!

Again, no. Those boys should have been better supervised. By the time they are old enough to go without supervision, if their behaviour isn’t corrected, they will be entitled’

LOL!!!!!
Do you even know what you’re saying anymore?
What are you even talking about op?

That was such a no, but yes response.
Again OP which is it? If it’s not the parents that are the problem, it’s the child, right?

I actually feel sorry for you now.

Again OP which is it? If it’s not the parents that are the problem, it’s the child, right?

You have lost me. It is the parents. It will be the children, if the parents don’t do a better job.

Comprehension wasn’t your strong suit?

This is obviously very upsetting for you and it is understandable as no parent likes their child being upset.

I think it would be perfectly fine to be an advocate for your daughter when she plays and say in a loud nursery teacher voice things like 'can we have a turn now, thank you!' 'we are coming down the slide now stand back, thank you!'
Use the words thank you after things you say, this makes whatever you say socially acceptable when speaking to other people's children.

You are not going pursuade 1000s of random parents you come across every day to parent more proactively, but maybe this will help you feel more empowered.

I think it would be perfectly fine to be an advocate for your daughter when she plays and say in a loud nursery teacher voice things like 'can we have a turn now, thank you!' 'we are coming down the slide now stand back, thank you!'

That’s what we did do. Unfortunately the boys scrambled right back up again.

And I am not particularly upset. I am annoyed, and not at the children.