AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Gender stereotyping starts before birth. Look at clothes designs for boy and girl babies - flowers and princesses v dinosaurs and vehicles. Then when they are a little older their behaviour is perceived differently, people treat them differently.

It’s one of the great battles of our time - I’m massively critical of “gender” - I think stereotypes damage both sexes.

This is fascinating- look at the different way people treat the same baby, depending on whether they think it’s a girl or a boy

You seem to have a field of potatoes on your shoulders, Frances.
I don't know about a chip.

@awwlookatmybabyspider all this arguing plus your post has made me really ravenous for some chips now!

. I had home made chips and dinosaurs for my tea.
Been minding my nephews.
Its their favorite.

😋

@Bodicea me too Someone told me it is always easier to have a girl first

Really can't take your post seriously after you're "It's nearly always boys" comment

Do you think there are no boisterous children in the Outer Hebrides?

Ironically a lot of these boys grow up to cheat and lie and mistreat their wives/partners.The next generation of these boys being boys will hurt a lot of daughters on this forum.

I’ve read through and everyone can be as defensive as they like but actually so many posters defending their sons will have moaned about their lazy selfish cheating husbands/partners. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do think society treats boys and men differently, and I have seen this behaviour more commonly in boys at soft play. So I am with the OP there. Like I said I’ve seen it in girls too. That same day a little girl kicked my dd however there were a gang of older boys intentionally throwing a hard plastic toy in the baby area. I had to report them and when the Spider-Man narrowly missed my head I shouted it goes in the bin if it goes anywhere near me and glowered at their parents who did nothing. I then reported it. I should of said this actually in my post.

I’m not completely with the op, and do wonder how she can reply so much with a toddler... but I do agree with posters that say boys/men are treated differently.

I'm sorry, I just want to highlight this, and sayTwoPupsandaHamster
my hat is well and truly off to you, you're amazing

AwhThank you but there's plenty of us out there.

I reiterate "Give me boys anytine" 😉

Op, if you get this het up over a couple of little kids blocking the bottom of a slide a d getting shouty, you have a very stressful life ahead of you. It's perfectly fine to either ask the kids politely to please move, or tell your daughter she needs to ask them to move. Or she can go down the slide and the kids will learn what happens when they block a slide

This. It's just a couple of kids on a slide, it doesn't mean the world has gone to hell in a handcart. You'll be wasting a lot of your life on MN as well if something this minor causes you to start a thread and fight people all day.

Just tell the kids off, most respond well to a strict teacher tone!

I wouldn't bother starting a row with the parents unless they initiate one.

I've told off lots of kids at softplay (girls can be just as bad) and I'd hope if mine did anything naughty/dangerous/mean somebody would tell her off. It's impossible to keep them in sight at all times in soft play.

Time to sum this one up.

Some people have listened and taken on board that what I said was in my experience, there is a difference between the ways in which some parents respond to boys’s behaviour compared to girls. This seems to be the experience of quite a few other posters, too, and seems to link in to other issues as the boys get older.

Other posters disagree, which is fine.

Certain other posters have taken my comment like a red flag to a bull, completely ignored the fact that it says “nearly always”, and proceeded to get very annoyed about my supposed sexism. I don’t think those posters are listening.

Other posters have managed to distract themselves by actually blaming my toddler for being shy, or me for not forcing her into situations that make her upset and unhappy, rather than doing what I did, which was to support her by firmly challenging behaviour that should have been challenged by the boys’ parents.

I’ve already said I won’t reply to people who rehash questions I have answered already, and I won’t reply to people blaming my child. This isn’t her fault. She doesn’t have to assume responsibility, at the age of two, for all her battles. That’s what I am here for: to decide when she is out of her depth and act accordingly.

I can only reiterate that yes, I would prevent my sons - if I had any - from behaving in this way. Pretending I would be unable to stop them plays to a reductive interpretation of child behaviour based on sex, ignores the fact that a parent’s role is to teach appropriate behaviour, and excuses parents who let their children behave towards mine in this way.

Sorry I can’t please everyone.

Silvercatowner

Thanks

I've told off lots of kids at softplay (girls can be just as bad) and I'd hope if mine did anything naughty/dangerous/mean somebody would tell her off. It's impossible to keep them in sight at all times in soft play.

In the bigger ones I agree with you, although I question why children who are clearly 2-3 years old are left roaming round in those places because they clearly do need supervision.

But this one was really, really small: just the slide (which was short) and a couple of small toys. The children were in view of their parents. They just did nothing.

Gender stereotyping starts before birth. Look at clothes designs for boy and girl babies - flowers and princesses v dinosaurs and vehicles. Then when they are a little older their behaviour is perceived differently, people treat them differently.

As is definitely demonstrated here. I’m being told I can’t possibly understand what it’s like to have a boy.

Do you think there are no boisterous children in the Outer Hebrides?

Just more room.

I love how you hide behind the whole ‘I don’t blame the children, I blame the parents’ but then say that it’s always boys, so which is it? Always boys or always the parents? Can’t really be both can it?

Perfect example of not listening.

Of course it can be both. It’s NEARLY always boys behaving like this. It isn’t their fault, it’s their parents’ faults for letting them.

What are you struggling with?

YANBU to want to move away but that is very extreme to say it when they're only children for God's sake...

Mine loves to climb up slides. I only intervene if others are using it. Kids don't know rules yet. That's what play is for.

Then you’re doing great. You intervene when others are affected. Thank you, because it makes all the difference.

Oh OP you are very god help your little snowflake when she goes to school.

I 100% disagree with your “observations” and completely inaccurate generalisation of boys behaviour.

I 100% disagree with your “observations” and completely inaccurate generalisation of boys behaviour.

😂

Here's another perspective- those boys were using the slide and your daughter interrupted their game.

squeekywheel

There’s always one.

Actually there are shit loads of us on this thread- as in people who disagree with your bizarre view of the world.

They're little boys, not Donald Trump.