AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

I think I'm on the ignore list for pointing out she has an invisible imaginary child
Pretty sure the op has won the bet by now

I have 2 boys and 1 girl and if they ever climbed up a slide the wrong way I'd be over there telling them to stop.

Forget the fact that it's more frequently boys that behave in this way, it's shit parenting.

*plasterboots

I don’t want to discuss my parenting with you.*

No you want to discuss other parents parenting, we are however happy to discuss yours! Plenty to discuss and I two am thinking you've an imaginary child, all through tea time and you're on here constantly, do you not cook for this child? Sit with them? Engage with them?

Forget the fact that it's more frequently boys that behave in this way, it's shit parenting.

Well, it is shit, yes. But why are so many more parents of boys acting in this way? I think the answer is here on this thread.

Well, it is shit, yes. But why are so many more parents of boys acting in this way? I think the answer is here on this thread.

Well maybe it is shit parenting, but there is more than one type of shit parenting..... like ignoring your child to argue on MN the entire day!

I have skipped the last part of this thread.

It is bloody bonkers. Why are so many posters struggling to understand that OP is not saying ALL boys are naughty?

I have three boys and two girls. In 20 years of parenting I have seen more boys act this way than girls. It's not because they are boys, it's because parents and society are more likely to let boys get away with that behaviour because 'boys will be boys'.

That is not offensive or sexist. It is factual. If anyone is offended by OP's statement then they are clearly looking for an excuse to call OP unreasonable.

I am not offended because she is right. Boys are more likely to be allowed to get away with that kind of behaviour. It is wrong but it happens and it is a massive problem. Let's not pretend it doesn't exist.

OP this really is just a pile on for the sake of it.

Walk away. It's pointless.

I’m happy enough, U2. Having a nice cup of

Thanks, though.

@U2HasTheEdge not everyone thinks the same way as you and OP, it's your opinion and not a fact.

I've parented for 27 years. Ive not seen it.

We are allowed to have differing opinions and OPs rudeness telling people to fuck off and calling them arseholes has not helped her. She's going to get people's backs up and get told a few observations about her own parenting.

That's what happens on AIBU!

not everyone thinks the same way as you and OP, it's your opinion and not a fact.

It is stupid to pretend that society doesn't excuse poor behaviour in boys and men on the grounds of 'boys will be boys' and their 'genetic makeup'. It starts from day one. Deny it all you like but it is the truth. I am off out but you can do some research if you like. I'm sure there is plenty out there.

We are allowed to have differing opinions and OPs rudeness telling people to fuck off and calling them arseholes has not helped her.

I am not surprised OP told someone to fuck off. I think I would too if I had pages of stupid replies. Please don't tell me how AIBU works. I have been here for a long time.

It is stupid to pretend that society doesn't excuse poor behaviour in boys and men on the grounds of 'boys will be boys' and their 'genetic makeup'. It starts from day one. Deny it all you like but it is the truth. I am off out but you can do some research if you like. I'm sure there is plenty out there.

I'm not stupid....

I am not surprised OP told someone to fuck off. I think I would too if I had pages of stupid replies. Please don't tell me how AIBU works. I have been here for a long time.

She's messaged ALL DAY on average every 10 minutes, she had got a massive issue with not accepting others opinion. AIBU is not the place for this type of obsessive "I'm a good parent and everyone else is wrong" type.

She could've stopped answering at anytime but she hadn't, she's been obsessive.

And only thick people and nasty bullies use the line "you made me do that", it's a line often heard from really nasty bullies.

Jeeze come on the op has played a blinder
How many pages has she managed to drag this out for
I mean credit where it's due
Sure she's off cooking an awesome imaginary risotto with her big spoon for her imaginary child

She's messaged ALL DAY on average every 10 minutes
Yesterday too, replied to nearly every poster.

Well, she's clearly a very onto it, and attentive sort of a person. Or something. . .

Stereotyping is when we assume. I am not assuming. I am observing

You are assuming and extrapolating from the small number of children you have observed interacting with your child.

@francescadrake’s second post proves just how readily she disagrees with people. I mean, the PP’s comment about it being dangerous to obstruct a slide was actually agreeing with OP’s position, yet she still leapt to argue. So unnecessarily defensive.

You are...extrapolating from the small number of children you have observed interacting with your child.

Sure, you could put it like that. It’s not really a small number, it’s a significant number. But yes, it is an extrapolation. I see no problem with that.

Wait, so you’re calling 2 year old boys bullies for climbing up and down a slide? Wow, how absolutely nasty of you.

I love how you hide behind the whole ‘I don’t blame the children, I blame the parents’ but then say that it’s always boys, so which is it? Always boys or always the parents? Can’t really be both can it?

My little boy plays a bit rough, he means no harm- I parent him, stop him and withdraw him from situations. Makes me laugh when I read your comments saying ‘my child won’t be allowed to behave like that’.

You can’t even teach your 2 year old to tell children her own age to to move so she can slide down a slide, how exactly are parents meant to teach children of the same age to have manners expected of adults?

You’re absolutely deluded OP and I hope you don’t hit your head too hard on the way down.

Oh yeah @Piglet89 she won't let a little thing like someone agreeing with her to stop her attacking and arguing...,

When I commented at the beginning of the thread I was under the impression the children were like- bigger kids. Not the same age.

And also OP, you may be complaining about the parents on their phones whilst their kids are at softplay but they might actually be fully engaged with their child when at home, unlike you- from your engagement with this thread. Not like I have an issue with that, but it is hypocritical.

@francescadrake

I think you are awesome!!!!

I will judge others’ parenting if and when it affects my child

Your child is going to be affected a lot over the next sixteen years and you're going to spend an inordinately large proportion of your life objecting in one way or another, if this is how you plan to carry on.

Okay. So I'm no good at making arguments about gender so I don't know if it's inherent or brought about by how parents treat their kids but with 4 boys a nd having been to a lot of playgrounds, play areas and parties yes it is mainly boys. My 4 yo has been climbing up slides and I give out to him every time and tell him he's out if he does it again. The others tried it but not like him. We w e 're at a party recently and all the boys were climbing up the slides. I went over to him and told him to stop ( not too loudly but loud enough so others would hear and hopefully stop). They didn't. He did and then started up again. The parents around me mumbled about it you could tell they wanted their kid to stop but didn't want to be shaming other kids so I finally shouted over ' you were doing great a few minutes ago and now you're doing it again
You have to stop or someone's going to get hurt.' I was way too loud but others followed. On a tired day I hope I'd have done the same but to be honest I don't know. But in summary yes it does generally seem to be boys

Mine loves to climb up slides. I only intervene if others are using it. Kids don't know rules yet. That's what play is for.

Right, here’s where I think we’ve got to.

In certain circumstances, boys can be harder work to parent than girls. Several posters who are raising or have raised boys agree with that hypothesis. I’m not going to disagree because I have no experience and actually I think it’s probably true: little boys and little girls ARE different and play differently.

But it’s the unrelenting tone of judgement in the OP’s posts that’s making this thread so hard. As far as I’m aware, she is not raising a boy. And I can imagine it can feel properly relentless at times, telling them endlessly to play nicely and not to push and shove (to the extent they do that more than girls).

I’m a great believer in the saying “Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in his/her shoes”. And it’s that that the OP has completely failed to do: vehemently condemning, judging and insulting every step of the way. She can say “I wouldn’t let him do that if I had a son”. But plenty of parents have said “I won’t let them watch screens/eat anything but organic food [insert alternative here]”. But until you are actually in the situation, and have had to tell them not to climb up the slide for the umpteenth time that day and took your eye off the call that one time, and you’re absolutely knackered and are just taking a wee break, you just cannot know.