AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

You absolutely HAVE wasted it.

You asked our opinions and we took time to give them.

But it’s now patently obvious that you do not care what we think. So, our giving those opinions is a WASTE. OF. OUR. TIME.

Of course. I have no issue with the parents I see getting up to teach their children how to behave. That is the exact opposite of what my issue is.

There may be times that even you haven't taught your child how to behave. Is there honestly not a single occasion that you haven't challenged her on her passive behaviour? Do you think there are other parents of quiet children who don't teach their child to be assertive each and every time they are passive? Do you judge them?

Possibly on occasion you haven't chosen to teach her how to be a better member of soft play society - instead you may have chosen the quiet life of picking her up and plopping her in a different ball pit.

I'm not judging you. It's hard and relentless and repetitive to teach those lessons.

The point is that I can promise you no parent in that soft play is judging you for choosing the easier path on the occasion that you put her on your lap for a cuddle rather than laboriously insist that she politely asks the big boys to move. Every. Time.

But plenty are judging the parent who isn't dragging their boy out by the ankles.

But both are skills that need to be taught. And sometimes people skip it. You included.

Last time I looked around we have plenty of little boys in the Outer Hebrides and we are managing just fine without you OP, please stay where you are

We love softplay- but I have one of those horrible, confident, big toddler boys.

He chucks himself around like a loon. It's that or he does the same in my sitting room.

He also kind, loving and will say sorry and kiss it better if he accidentally hurts someone.

So why are you right and the others here who have noticed your parenting faults not allowed to voice it?

As I have said, you can voice what you want. I am not engaging.

I will judge others’ parenting if and when it affects my child. Otherwise I am live and let live, in all honesty.

Is there honestly not a single occasion that you haven't challenged her on her passive behaviour? Do you think there are other parents of quiet children who don't teach their child to be assertive each and every time they are passive? Do you judge them?

What passive behaviour? What are you talking about?

It depends on which soft play actually, we go to supervised as well as non.

I’m trying to give you another perspective. My dd is 7 months and she was actually kicked by a toddler (a girl) while I was sat with her. It wasn’t hard and her Mum was mortified. I said it was okay as kids will be kids.

I’m sort of wondering why you let your dd whose 2 into the bit for older children if you did? As no wonder she came into contact with children running wild. My friend keeps her 2 year old son in the toddler part. If the other boys were toddlers also then they’re learning as much as your dd, and they’re the same development stage.

But it’s now patently obvious that you do not care what we think. So, our giving those opinions is a WASTE. OF. OUR. TIME.

I don’t care what you think of my parenting.

You are wasting your own time.

The passive behaviour in the OP...,

And toddlers climb on each other. Bit like puppies

Last time I looked around we have plenty of little boys in the Outer Hebrides and we are managing just fine without you OP, please stay where you are

I’m sort of wondering why you let your dd whose 2 into the bit for older children if you did?

Already covered. The children were roughly the same age and there aren’t separate areas. Even in the local soft play with a toddler area (a different place) these same boys would have been playing alongside her because they were roughly the same age.

They climbed on her and pushed her. Read the thread
@squeekywheel
It was mentioned in one of the many drips OP added, for extra shock tactics.

💧 💧 💧

So the boys were toddlers too? They’re still learning then aswell. I thought you meant like big kids. Actually in that case i think you’re being unreasonable to expect certain behaviours from them yet. A lot of parenting is required but they don’t have a moral compass yet, it’s not really there fault.

I do think their parents should be keeping both eyes on them though at that age! So with you on that score.

It was mentioned in one of the many drips OP added, for extra shock tactics.

Wasn't mentioned originally but when things weren't going the right way it suddenly was.... Strange that.

Fair play op you've managed to milk this one a treat

Fair play op you've managed to milk this one a treat

You're not wrong there!

What passive behaviour? What are you talking about?

Apologies I forgot your child behaves impeccably in soft play.

I'm talking about the hypothetical situation where a child is not asserting themselves when another child is obstructing their ability to use a piece of play equipment. Some might call it gentle. Some might call it passive. It's quite subjective. Life is funny like that.

All I know is it's not as judged as harshly as the children obstructing despite the fact that both are skills that need to be taught by parents.

Obviously you would never ever let it slide (no pun intended.)

Actually pun absolutely intended.

Off to soft play. What are your thoughts on throwing balls in the ball pit?

Well this descended quickly. OP maybe read the thread after some time has passed and you can take a proper step back without getting defensive? You asked so the posters opinions must mean something to you.

So the boys were toddlers too?

At this point, any questions like this one and I will have to say ^^

It has been answered, and it has been pointed out that I didn’t blame the boys, I blamed the parents.

I will also be ignoring any further posts that try to imply my child is in any way to blame for the rude and unpleasant behaviour of other children because she is a little shy.

YABU for your blatant sexism: 'It's nearly always boys'.

ODFOD.

QuilliamCakespeare

And yet it IS.

Good, take your narrow minded views elsewhere.