AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

And?

Oh, wait. You're one of those people who think they can judge others without coming under scrutiny themselves. Got it!

Oh, wait. You're one of those people who think they can judge others without coming under scrutiny themselves. Got it!

I don’t really care about your judgement. My parenting is none of your business.

They didn't hurt your child though. They blocked her in, which is rude.

You make it sound like a they punched her in the face.

You need to let her learn to deal with other children (including rude ones) on her own.

squeekywheel

They climbed on her and pushed her. Read the thread.

And they even apologised!

Lighten up.

squeekywheel

And she was hysterical. Obviously I wasn’t going to leave her to fend off two boys behaving aggressively on her own. She’s 2.

Christ. Honestly. I’ve spent the past 12 years in soft play. I have four boys.

I don’t let them climb up slides because I don’t want them to smash their own teeth out but I do leave them to it at soft play because it’s a safe environment for them to learn how to share, take turns, get pushed and shoved, fight (verbally) their own corner and play.

I do sit on my phone with a coffee but a watchful eye because it’s sometimes the only time I’ve sat down in a week and I’m knackered. Climbing up the slide isn’t ideal but it’s not the end of the world and it certainly doesn’t necessarily indicate shit parenting - it might just indicate knackered parenting.

If mine come back to me moaning about something inconsequential I just tell them to get on with it because that’s life. I’d definitely expect them to deal with other kids climbing up the slide themselves by a) telling them to stop or b) going on some different equipment until they’ve stopped.

I don’t get involved in the minutiae because they need to figure this stuff out for themselves.

You have posted on average once every 15 minutes since 9am, it's been all day! Four times an hour plus having to read the other replies, copy highlight etc and YOU judge other parents?

Just how have you had time to interact with your child today? When you've spent ALL day on here arguing that your a good parent!

There are certainly parents who think it's OK to let their sons behave unsociably. I work with the public and see this a lot. The rowdy children are usually boys.

It's not the boy' fault: it's as if the parents think they're letting the boys be masculine rather than just being little shits.

I raised a family of both girls and boys and found there was a constant pressure from other adults to encourage the boys to behave in what I felt were unacceptable ways in public.

most argumentative posters I have ever come across on MN: and that’s against some pretty stiff competition. I wonder if you are the same IRL or if this is “keyboard warrior” behaviour
This with bells on.
A hypocrite on top

Totally agree with this.

OP YABU and aggressive.

JaniceBattersby

Sorry but all I can get from that is that you let them run wild. I hope that isn’t the case but it wouldn’t surprise me.

plasterboots

I’m not defending my parenting to you. Give it up.

I bloody hate soft play. I imagine it’s the inspiration for the Hunger Games series.

My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise

The above if from your OP. You didn't mention being climbed on or pushed in the OP.

You need to lighten up. She will go to school soon and she will need to develop some confidence.

God help me, having said I would step out, I just cannot help myself.

I don’t really care about your judgement. My parenting is none of your business.

THEN WHY ON EARTH did you ask us, in your very first post:

[was I being unreasonable] to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

Seriously - stop wasting everyone’s time, OP!

You didn't mention being climbed on or pushed in the OP.

This has been covered about fifteen times. RTFT.

Seriously - stop wasting everyone’s time, OP!

Your time is your own. I am not wasting it.

My friend has two boys, ones confident, runs around and would sometimes thoughtlessly be like the boys described. Her other son is shy and meek, would be pushed over and cry ect.

Not all boys are the same you cannot tar them with the same brush.

Also whenever we’ve gone to soft play we keep half an eye on but generally have a gossip and chat. Where else can you really? It’s all soft areas, most damage they can do it few bumped heads. Isn’t that the beauty of soft play...mums can get a break? Plus it wears children out so they sleep. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also whenever we’ve gone to soft play we keep half an eye on but generally have a gossip and chat. Where else can you really? It’s all soft areas, most damage they can do it few bumped heads. Isn’t that the beauty of soft play...mums can get a break? Plus it wears children out so they sleep. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It clearly says you need to supervise your kids. It’s not meant to be unsupervised play. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Soft play. Ugh.

I’m never going to one of those again. My DS is nearly 2. I’ve only been a few times and each time I experience hell on earth.

Oh dear.

People do give more licence to boys- which is wrong.

People also undermine girls confidence by following them around and picking them up and going 'there there' at the slightest bump in the road. Tell them to brush themselves down and get back on the horse, if they're not actually hurt obviously. That and telling them not to spoil their silly, frilly dress...

There is stupid, negative gender parenting on both sides.

OP you want to dictate to others how to parent their children, your parenting is lacking also but no one is allowed to say that?

So why are you right and the others here who have noticed your parenting faults not allowed to voice it?

People also undermine girls confidence by following them around and picking them up and going 'there there' at the slightest bump in the road. Tell them to brush themselves down and get back on the horse, if they're not actually hurt obviously. That and telling them not to spoil their silly, frilly dress...

Which is the type of parenting I have been accused of. Invented nonsense, but there you go.

Op, if you get this het up over a couple of little kids blocking the bottom of a slide a d getting shouty, you have a very stressful life ahead of you. It's perfectly fine to either ask the kids politely to please move, or tell your daughter she needs to ask them to move. Or she can go down the slide and the kids will learn what happens when they block a slide.