AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Wow. Big sexist generalisation.
2 x girls have pushed my son over on 2 separate occasions at separate playgroups. Using your rule - you really must teach your daughter not to be so rude and to start considering others.

Parent their children. I don’t want apologies, particularly, although fair enough, they didn’t react badly to what I said. I want them not to have sat there and watched their sons behaving unacceptably to start with
I understand what your saying, I won't ask is she your first as a poster was attacked earlier go r the question.
I will say I was all high and mighty with my gentle DD, scowled at DC misbehaving, then I had DS as I said above I believe it's 2nd child rather than sex of the child
He has finally settled this year I had to watch him like a hawk, I am making the point you could very well find yourself in the position of a wilder child, granted he has never pushed a small child, if he got pushed, he'd punch them.
These mothers were put of order ignoring their child, I use to held in high regard by family as a great mam as DDs DM, I haven't changed but I have been judged by the same family members for DS behaviour.
It is not always down to bad parenting, some DC are difficult.

My child definitely doesn’t have a problem. She is a kind, well-mannered, slightly shy little girl.

No but her DM does need to learn that confident children also don't have a "problem",

The problem is your DC lacks social confidence as the other DC lack awareness of others needs.... they're small children as they grow that'll learn and change!

If all DCs were like your daughter we would have a problem in the world and if all DCs were like the other children we would have a problem, it's a mix of attitudes.

And yes you do need to live far away, you clearly think your child is too good for where you do live,

BunnyTeapot

What rule did I make?

MissB83-so true on that. They are either running out of soft play or it’s the moment when you ‘have to go in’ to get them... You start calmly enough and then 10 minutes later you’re carrying them out!!

*catkin' thanks for the flowers, that's lovely. The judging is, indeed, vile.

The fact that the child is shy has absolutely nothing to do with it

Well if they were playing with the equipment in a certain way , before you arrived , then surely your daughter could have joined in the way they are playing.
Everyone know it's more fun trying to run up a slide than sliding down it anyway.
It's only adults who seem to decide sliding down is the only way to play.

No but her DM does need to learn that confident children also don't have a "problem",

I didn’t say confident children have a problem. Children can be confident and not rude or bullying in their behaviours. No?

Bringonspring oh yes; the soft play intervention "I'm not telling you again!".

Mind you, I have a son who likes going up slides because he's perverse and curious. Maybe this thread is about him??

joke, we weren't at soft play today

@francescadrake your child is clearly either very controlled in her behaviour or naturally very docile
You've been on MN all afternoon and all evening and hardly needed to tend to her, boys or girls a lot of parents can't parent like that.

Be careful they change and hours on MN will just not be available to you.

Well if they were playing with the equipment in a certain way , before you arrived , then surely your daughter could have joined in the way they are playing.

My DD could have joined in with their bad behaviour, preventing others from sliding down the slide, standing on others and screaming, yes. She didn’t. Because I wouldn’t ever let her behave like that. Because it’s dangerous and unpleasant for others.

You are being unreasonable going to soft play in the summer though! Those places are surely for the desperate and when it’s too wet for the park?

dootball you're so right- it IS more fun. I only allow it if noone else is around.

plasterboots

Of course I have needed to tend to her. She’s gone to bed now.

MsTSwift

It’s a little soft play we visit on the return journey from shopping. Not sure why I am having to justify that.

Blimey placid child and ultimate multi tasker
Blimey op are there no end to your talents?
Could you give my boy a shout and tell him to hurry up so I can have my pint asap

wildbhoys no problem x It’s hard enough without others glaring at us and our children isn’t it?!! x

hobnobsaremyfave

I made a risotto as well.

f course I have needed to tend to her. She’s gone to bed now.

But you've not done a lot of it this afternoon? A lot of children like and require a lot more attention from their parent.

So maybe the DMs you saw on their phones were using that time to unwind, you've unwound ALL afternoon by being on your phone........

So bloody judgy!

Maybe they bring up their DC in a much more free way, you confine yours?

Francescadrake you're saying it's always boys misbehaving at softplay. I was trying to make a point of a couple of isolated incidents doesnt mean it's always that sex... but if the incidents do mean it's always that sex then you need to teach your daughter not to push as my son has been pushed twice now.

Do you get my point? You're being ridiculous in your generalisation.

But you've not done a lot of it this afternoon? A lot of children like and require a lot more attention from their parent.

It’s interesting to see the truly defensive response.

‘I wouldn’t let her behave like that’ not being funny op, but you’re not always going to be there.

Children need to learn boundary’s, and be given an opportunity to explore their environment safely. By pulling her away from every situation you’re not teaching her anything other than that mummy pulls her away when things are not ok.

What will happen when mummy isn’t there to pull her away? Does she go to pre school or nursery?

Fuck that I've managed a gym session reheated takeaway and am off with one of my crack dealing, long haired feral offspring

Children need to learn boundary’s, and be given an opportunity to explore their environment safely. By pulling her away from every situation you’re not teaching her anything other than that mummy pulls her away when things are not ok.

I do not pull her away from every situation.