AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

doesnt matter what u put on mumsnet as it seem to be full of self righteous people who will always say you are in the wrong....its full of people who either cant read properly or think its ok to do just as you like regardless of other peoples feelings....i imagine these people to live sad lonely little lives with no friends, sat on their computors all day waiting to belittle anyone with an ounce of sense....awful place

francescadrake you must have known full well what you were doing with your "mostly boys" comment! You keep reiterating that you don’t mean ALL boys are badly behaved so why feel compelled to bring it up??!

So instead of this being a thread about poor parenting (which is what it is) you’ve created a gender divide debate!

I know some truly dreadfully behaved boys, some unbelievably horrendous girls, some delightful boys and some lovely girls. In every single case it’s because of the parenting and nothing to do with gender.

But you know that already, don’t you?

The boys were wrong to behave in the way they did. It was rude and their parents were wrong not to stop them behaving in a rude way.

@francescadrake - you are wrong to generalise and you are also wrong imo in the way you've allowed your daughter to be.

Your daughter needs to learn how to ask for what she wants. Your daughter needs to learn to positively interact with more boisterous children. This teaching is your responsibility. And whilst the boys' parents are wrong - so are you.

OP, you can't have it both ways.

However, it’s often girls who are more likely to use crying and mind games as a tactic to get what they want. If your dd cries a lot to get what she wants bear that in mind

Another example of why this thread is frustrating. No, she doesn’t. She was scared

You're saying most boys are unpleasant, violent thugs. Or is it only ok to generalise about boys?

You keep reiterating that you don’t mean ALL boys are badly behaved so why feel compelled to bring it up??!

Because it is relevant. It appears that more parents of boys are failing to teach their children how to behave than parents of girls.

To the teachers on this thread - I know how busy you are (I trained as a teacher and decided it wasn't for me). And you have my utter sympathy.

My comment wasn't intended to be critical of you, because in my experience you pretty much all do your best, in very difficult under-resourced circumstances, with children whose domestic situations are getting more and more difficult. You especially do your best at KS1/2 and mostly at KS3/4 (with a tiny number of exceptions).

Rather, I think it's ludicrous that the numpties in power keep coming up with over-stuffed curricula that get changed at the drop of a hat, over emphasise paper-based exams in English as the attainment measure, and yet still manage to imply learning about the Tudors (say) and their endless love lives (whatever spin you put on it) are far more important than skills for life.

It appears that more parents of boys are failing to teach their children how to behave than parents of girls.

But your daughters behaviour fell short too .... and that's your failure imo

Your daughter needs to learn how to ask for what she wants. Your daughter needs to learn to positively interact with more boisterous children. This teaching is your responsibility. And whilst the boys' parents are wrong - so are you.

My two year old doesn’t need to learn to tolerate being bullied by naughty children. She is doing nothing wrong by wanting to have her turn on the slide without being climbed on, pushed, trapped and screamed at. And I am doing nothing wrong by stepping in to prevent this.

Op you’re onto a losing battle here. This thread is the perfect insight into why certain children are such intolerable shits. Their parents cannot do anything except berate and belittle your child because HOW could their own be awful?

This thread is the perfect insight into why certain children are such intolerable shits.

Agreed.

The boys were just being small kids, they're all still learning. And all three of my kids would have reacted like your daughter OP, boys and girls. They also like to climb the slide. The parents should have kept a better lookout, but none of the behaviour sounds outrageous

Oh this is priceless!

OP judges and calls other people's children horrible, and expects support.

Someone else says OP's child didn't behave well.

OP tells them to fuck off.

Tbh if you don’t think the boys’ behaviour was horrible then what does that say about your parenting?

@francescadrake

Because it is relevant. It appears that more parents of boys are failing to teach their children how to behave than parents of girls.

In your extensive experience at one soft play with your one pre-school child? That’s literally all you have to go on.

Uh huh.

You're saying most boys are unpleasant, violent thugs. Or is it only ok to generalise about boys?

Huh? I said I have observed certain behaviour more in one group than in another group. You then made a different generalisation that maybe you have observed, or maybe you haven’t. I have no idea. I am simply saying that the children I saw today did behave in this way. My DD didn’t play any mind games. So that is irrelevant.

In your extensive experience at one soft play with your one pre-school child? That’s literally all you have to go on.

Yes.

I am just speechless. * She is 2, and she was scared. She was well-mannered and considerate of others.

I don’t usually speak to people like this on here but fuck off.*

She's 2 does that e cause cover the horrid boys as well?

You're way over invested in this thread, you're rude having complained about very young children, their excuse is their age, yours is what???

MissB83

Because that poster is literally blaming my daughter for being nice and well-mannered, and getting scared when other children behaved like brats. I’m not entertaining that.

You're way over invested in this thread, you're rude having complained about very young children, their excuse is their age, yours is what???

I am complaining about their parents. What’s their excuse?

OP, what do you think your daughter learns from you when you go and complain to other parents about their children displaying ostensibly normal and boisterous behaviour for a young child (climbing up a slide?!).

Do you think she learns that making a fuss about stuff is normal?

That she has to have her mum around to stick up for her because she's a precious little flower?

Do you think that will help her as she grows up?

You’re calling young children bullies waaay before it’s actually intentional.

They weren’t being very nice but calling a toddler or young child a bully is a bit.... cynical for the behaviour you’ve described.

OP, what do you think your daughter learns from you when you go and complain to other parents about their children displaying ostensibly normal and boisterous behaviour for a young child (climbing up a slide?!).

You haven’t read my posts, or you haven’t understood what you have read, or you are being disingenuous.

To put this in perspective: I was in a soft play with my one year old a few months ago when a kid of about nine (who shouldn't have been in that bit anyway) shot down a slide and nearly knocked him over. Yeah, it's annoying. But I didn't go and complain to parents because... he's a kid... and no one got hurt. Pick the battles?

YABU and aggressive.