AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

It shouldn’t be. Lazy idiot parents who don’t teach their children basic manners are the issue here.

And boys don't forget!

TBH you sound very highly strung and it's going to rub off or already has on your DD.

rtft. The boys had shut her in and were clambering over her. It wasn't just running up the slide.

Information that was curiously omitted from the opening post and only drip fed into the thread when people were lining up to agree about how awful it all was.

There are a few on this thread who are definitely those weird parents who sit in the ball pond

Parent: "Oh look, George! A red ball! Can you say "red ball"? Red. Ball. Catch the red ball, George, catch it!"
George:
Other kids in the softplay:

Our nearest softplay doesn't allow adults (except for staff) inside the play area and it is so much nicer than the other softplay as there no twatty types helicoptering around their kids and getting on everyone's nerves.

Correction: were not lining up

I think its quite possible that is is more boys who do this sort of thing

Due to the fact that as an entire culture and society , boys behaviour is more excused 'bogs will be boys'
And girls are more expected to be 'good' and pleasing

Unfortunately

As for never seeing a girl being naughty in soft play, I highly doubt that statement to be true

I never saw it. I am not saying it has never happened.

YANBU. Many parents (not all by any means) are more tolerant of aggressive behaviour from boys because they think it is more ‘natural’ for boys to behave like this.

I agree that the parents should have been keeping closer eyes on them if they were THAT badly behaved but it’s important to teach children resilience and how to manage situations themselves too. For example my DD (2) would have told them in no uncertain terms that she was coming down the slide or she would have left the play park if she didn’t like it (unfortunately that’s life not everyone is nice or let you do what you want). I think a lot of issues children have as they grow up is their parents constantly ‘fixing’ every problem and making life easy and actually life is full of crazy people (not just boys) who make life a bit difficult!

Oh, and my dd would have sat.at the top of the slide for ages. She plays county level rugby now and is definitely not a snowflake. She expects to be treated with respect by others though!

MauisHouseOnMaui

It wasn’t a dripfeed. The information was there, and was perhaps skipped over by some posters.

I don’t agree with your comment about it always being boys doing this (how sexist), however it does really annoy me when I see other mums on their phones/chatting and not watching their children - of whatever gender. I also have a three year old DD who is sensitive/shy and she has been intimidated by other children many times in soft play. A couple have even shoved her and quite a few times kids have pushed her out of the way to go down a slide. It’s shockingly bad manners, I don’t care how old they are. My DD is delayed in some areas including speech but still knows how to wait her turn and wouldn’t dream of hurting another child. I don’t even mind kids doing these things, since this is how they learn, but would expect a parent to - well, parent. Making it clear that certain behaviours are not acceptable.

For example my DD (2) would have told them in no uncertain terms that she was coming down the slide or she would have left the play park if she didn’t like it

I have already told you: she isn’t talking at that level yet. FGS. Why can’t people read?

TBH you sound very highly strung and it's going to rub off or already has on your DD.

I’m not very highly strung, or I think this thread would already have provoked a few more - ahem - highly strung outbursts because of some of the - ahem - fucking rude people on it.

Of course @purpleboy I agree. It’s good to be there to be able to support and give direction, I just don’t think it helps when people constantly take over and don’t give their children a chance to try and help themselves.

Appreciate now how distressed ops child was, tbh it was more the ending of the post that rattled me the most, the ‘would I be unreasonable to move to bla bla’ it set the tone for me that op is precious about how people are with her kids and instead of teaching her child that some people are nasty and horrible just completely avoid it.
You know?

Jesus OP you come across as very rude. Maybe don’t take her to soft play or in public if you’re both too sensitive for human interaction

If you've never seen a naughty girl in soft play Fibbke then you've never been in a soft play with my DD - she seems to turn feral as soon as her shoes come off!

You said that they had been messing about on the slides for 10-15 minutes - why didn't you clear them off before you sent your DD down the slide? Especially if she's a particularly shy and easily upset child!

All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

No mention of pushing or climbing on her

Jesus OP you come across as very rude. Maybe don’t take her to soft play or in public if you’re both too sensitive for human interaction

I am not too sensitive for human interaction. I, like most adults, would not enjoy being trapped in a small space, screamed at, climbed on and pushed around. My DD is the same. You?

Hahahaha at 'nearly always boys'. I've seen a lot of little girls trying to climb up slides over the years I've spent in soft Plays and parks.
Yeah, I'm not keen on my kids doing it but it's not something I get mega stressed over- if their parent is not about I will say to the child 'please Can you just let my DD/DS come down the slide'. They pretty much always do 🤷‍♀️
Massive over reaction

MauisHouseOnMaui

But if you read the next couple of pages you would be more informed. Anyway, what does it matter? That’s what happened.

Awww op I hate shit parenting I totally agree with you ! Why do these parents not bother telling their kids off

However it's not just boys trust me 🤦‍♀️ 13 years of parenting raising 3 kids I can confirm both sexes can we horrific brats

Loving the gender stereotype. I have two DS’s and two DD’s. My DD’s are definitely more boisterous than my DS’s.

Anyway, poor parenting is kinda everywhere. I don’t actually think looking at your phone whilst your DC pay in softplay is poor parenting though. The notion of softplay is to do this really, I find adults who run around after their DC a little odd.

if their parent is not about I will say to the child 'please Can you just let my DD/DS come down the slide'. They pretty much always do 🤷‍♀️

But they DIDN’T.

Read the thread.

I remember a little boy sliding down and climbing back up over and over again then spitting at a child waiting at the bottom. He was also laughing in the faces of the kids waiting to come down. I asked him to get off and let someone else have a turn and he burst into tears and his mum appeared from nowhere and went mental.

Did you ask the parent yourself then? Like 'excuse me can you ask your child to let my DD down the slide'?
Can't see the point in a passive aggressive thread like this tbh it's easier to deal with it directly

Fibbke are you one of those parents who sits on their phone not watching their kids  (lighthearted btw)

@Jellybeansincognito with you, there needs to be a balance between the two.