AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

@Geminijes my daughter can be worse than my son more often than not.

I’m assuming you don’t have a son?

Her observation was snarky. She actually wasn’t asking if she was being unreasonable.

But hey, my daughter AND son are teens now, so I’m well out of the softplay rage stage (and softplay didn’t damage them for life ).

The op is allowed to observe (assuming it is true) that she has seen this behaviour more from boys than girls.

It would not surprise me that it is true, because it is the same as my own observations.

I agree with @purpleboy - bar that I think a bit of help and supportive direction is helpful to allow a child to gain a bit of confidence.
However, may not have been easy in this scenario (I didn’t realise the extent of their blocking when I initially gave my opinion)

I do helicopter my kids still - 4&2 because their behaviour can’t be trusted and they still need someone to be responsible for them, even though most parents are sat with their hot drink and head in their phone...

I hope now you've had chance to reflect that you can see this comment was misguided, your limited involvement of children isn't enough to generalise all boys in the same way

She didn't generalise all boys

I have a boy, and four children, and i have never ever seen a girl being a prat at soft play. It is always boys. Girls grow up to cause different kinds of problems, but in my experience they are better behaved in public spaces when small.

Boys like to take on more risky behaviour, that's probably why is nearly always boys, that's just the way kids play doesn't make them naughty or badly parented.
They should learn about taking turns sure but equally other children need to learn to say it's my turn move!
Let kids resolve there own issues, unless they can come to some sort of physical harm leave well enough alone it's how they learn.

No. But where would you find such a place?

They should learn about taking turns sure but equally other children need to learn to say it's my turn move!
Let kids resolve there own issues, unless they can come to some sort of physical harm leave well enough alone it's how they learn.

There was no way I was going to let these boys continue bullying my child into hysterics. And yes, they were - at that time - being badly parented.

There are a few on this thread who are definitely those weird parents who sit in the ball pond

Ah well I think you've probably got what you wanted from this thread

Of for goodness sake, 3 yr olds ‘bullying’? Really?

Drop in ‘abuse’ and I’m calling full house.

No. But where would you find such a place?

I once stayed in a very naice bothy on the Isle of Skye...

@Jellybeansincognito

I’m assuming you don’t have a son?

Actually, I have two sons and no daughters. I can still be open minded about situations.

CarryOnUpTheNile

They were bullying her. They were pushing her, screaming in her face, climbing on her, refusing to let her have her turn and trapping her in a small space.

@CarryOnUpTheNile and you come across as one of those parents who wouldn’t notice if your child was drowning another kid. Oh kids will be kids! They’re just playing! I do hope we don’t live near you.

That’s very funny . You win.

Yabu in saying this wouldn’t happen in the Outer Hebrides! There, society is generally rather old-fashioned and boys are glorified.
Yabu with the generalisation that manners are not instilled in to boys. Mine would not have been allowed to behave like that.
Yanbu in getting annoyed, I do too, but there are plenty of girls allowed to behave in this manner. Laissez faire attitude by parents.

They where playing. You should really avoid soft play this type of behaviour is rife and par for the course.
Kids need to be taught to join in and walk away and learn to hold there own.

You should really avoid soft play this type of behaviour is rife and par for the course.

It shouldn’t be. Lazy idiot parents who don’t teach their children basic manners are the issue here.

They where playing. You should really avoid soft play this type of behaviour is rife and par for the course

Boys will be boys (ie literally can't be arsed to teach my kid manners and just want 20 mins on snapchat, fuck everyone elses kids)

And if girls don't speak up, it's their fault

Sound familiar?

@Fibbke has hit the nail on the head there.

It's soft play. It's what happens you can take the most perfectly behaved child and they turn in to monsters 80% of the time. It's the sense of freedom I suppose.
It's annoying yep but its what happens kids need to learn to resolve there own issues and walk away parents cannot do everything or spoon feed life.

@Jellybeansincognito agree with you in principle, but a one size fits all doesn't work. My youngest dd is so loud and crazy at home, put her in a social situation she is a totally different child. Will never stand up for herself. We left her to it thinking her personality was so big at home she would eventually find her voice with other children pushing in etc.. but she never did, she seemed to go backward and move out of the way for children to push in front. We got to the stage we had to intervene or she would be stuck at the top of the slide🤦🏽‍♀️ since we started intervening I feel it give her the confidence to do the same.

@Fibbke but again your generalising and you haven't met most of the children in the world so how can you possibly generalise? As for never seeing a girl being naughty in soft play, I highly doubt that statement to be true. It's not about the sex it's about the parenting. I agree there can be stereotypes that boys will be boys and girls are gentler etc.. and i have on occasions witnessed this to be true, but I have also see scenarios where girls are worse than the boys. You just can't generalise.

It's soft play. It's what happens you can take the most perfectly behaved child and they turn in to monsters 80% of the time. It's the sense of freedom I suppose.

Most of the kids were fine (and also being done out of their turns). It was just these two boys.