Sissy79 God forbid that someone is struggling, attempting to contain an autistic dc going into meltdown, navigate other people around them so nobody else is hurt by the flailing arms and legs, trying to carefully move their dc to a quiet and more suitable place to help them calm down, while also managing possibly other children, handbag, and any purchases, probably also having to use the toilet (or child needs to use the toilet) and watching the chance of using the toilet go right out the window, knowing that they'll have to wait until they're home , even if it's an hour journey as their autistic dc is now too distressed for them to stop anywhere.
Now imagine that during that one hour journey (while they're still desperate for the toilet but can't go as they cannot leave their distressed autistic dc unsupervised for even a moment) their dc is humming loudly, tapping, stomping their feet, and occasionally letting out a yelp, sometimes crying a little, doesn't want anyone to look at them or sit/stand by them on the bus and absolutely most assuredly does not want babies or toddlers (crying or otherwise) anywhere near them on the bus or they (the autistic dc) will start to growl and shout. (actually multiply this x2 and that's what I have had to deal with on more than one occasion)
Keep in mind that throughout this, there are others on the bus, whispering, making nasty comments, staring. Some expect you to tell your dc to be quiet or to stop "acting up." Some will actually be rude enough to comment on it to your face or to your child. In the meantime, all you're trying to do is waylay a massive meltdown and get your dc home as quickly and safely as possible, so that nothing else untoward happens. All the time you're thinking "please dear god do not let this bus be rerouted or our bus stop be closed for some unknown reason as I cannot cope with that right now...." (or rain or a traffic jam or any number of things that would trigger a meltdown at this point)
In an ideal world, my dcs wouldn't be struggling in a queue while waiting for the toilet. In reality, they do.
In an ideal world, they would ignore a baby that is crying for awhile. In reality, they cannot - the sound causes them physical pain and ramps their anxiety skyhigh.
In an ideal world, they'd not lash out. In reality, they sometimes do - which we're working on.
In an ideal world, another parent might recognise that we are doing the best we can and turning ourselves inside out to make sure nothing bad happens. In reality, we get threads like this, where people judge our parenting and values even though they often have no idea of the whole picture.
Perhaps that will give you an idea why the other parent shouted and didn't apologise. She was likely distressed, focused on her child, and trying to do her best in a stressful situation. If you still can't see why, then 