To say postnatal wards are the least conducive environment for a mum/baby recovery

[cheesemumma]

Currently sitting on a ward at 11.30pm. 6th night. No exaggeration I think in total I must have had 4 hours sleep. My physical and mental health is suffering. I'm going to have to talk to the Drs tomorrow and say we're going home whatever, as we're getting more ill staying. Its not just the other selfish fucker couples that decide to talk on phone /watch films/ have conversations with each other but the staff seem to not give 2 shits it's the middle of the night. I realise my tiredness and hormones are a big contributing factor but I can feel a full tantrum /meltdown coming on. It's also 10000000 degrees and the enviable screaming babies plus the fact you get 3 teeny portions of food a day so I'm really hungry as ebf.

One of the worst experiences of my life. I had every cliché going:
Woman making phone call in middle of the night, speaking in another language.
Same woman completely ignoring her crying baby to continue her call
Other woman screaming at phone woman to shut up
Woman watching friends at full volume
Random husband on ward in morning despite them not being allowed on till 11am
Too hot
Bitch midwife who told me I wasn't trying hard enough to breastfeed
Breastfeeding supporter who could help me because I lived in the wrong borough
Instrumental delivery being treated as "normal" delivery
Nurse telling me "girls like me" always
come back 10 months later with another new baby

The second they said they could discharge us, I was packing our bags to go.

The best money i ever spent was on a private room for the 1 night i stayed in hospital post birth. When i was in labour the 2nd time i was checking it was available for me between contractions. I had so many friends tell me of their awful experiences in the ward post birth. A room to myself was so necessary and i think that it's terrible women don't get this.

Don't want to derail but I wonder if we could do a better job improving BF rates by providing a better environment for postnatal women to recover in rather than bombarding them with breast is best propaganda when are feeling like shit.

My mum always speaks fondly of her time on the ward with us five. Strict visiting times, babies brought in for feeding and cuddles only, nice chat with the other mums.
Then, a week or more later you are send home with baby already in a routine.
Bring back the old days because anything's better than this!

My two were both September babies and the ward was hotter than the surface of the sun. We were in two nights with number 1 and it was horrible. I had a c section with number 2 and only stayed one night. I was anaemic but begged to go home and they let me, because I think they know as well as we do that postnatal wards are not conducive to recovery.

Why do hospitals have to be so unbearably hot, in any ward or department? The NHS could save some money by turning the heating down a couple of degrees.

After my first baby, the night on postnatal ward was the direct cause of my PND. I was young, alone and terrified. I didn't even know about lochia before giving birth. I was so sore and just had no idea what I was doing. No one would help me. If my husband or mum or someone could have stayed with me I would have been fine. I know that people staying on wards lead to more issues, but in my case it would have helped so much.

With my second child I was incredibly unwell and as it was Christmas Eve so postnatal was almost empty. I ended up with a private room for my five night stay. That was fantastic. It was so quiet I had support, I knew what I was doing, so wasn't terrified. Everyone kept bringing me chocolate because of the day it was. I look back at my stay fondly with my second child.

On the third one I spent a couple hours sat in a bed during the day on postnatal, then they told me how I was desperate to go home so they'd discharge me before dinner. I did not complain.

@LadyRannaldini That is something I’ve been asked so many times when working in hospitals. Unfortunately, the temperature is controlled centrally and the ward can’t adjust it. At least we couldn’t where I worked - add to that the wards can be internal, meaning few windows and even then they don’t always open for H&S reasons.

Hospital heating is odd. I've seen unbearably hot offices and the staff just get told the same thing.

My 2 nights on the postnatal ward were some of the worst 2 nights of my entire life. I was exhausted and in a ward with 5 other new mums and their screaming babies (no formula so if you're struggling to breastfeed then the babies just scream). I had to argue and argue to get out of there. Hated it.

It is a disgrace. You get treated much worse than other wards. For my first, midwives weren't busy saving lives either because whenever I got up to go to the loo they were chatting loudly at the nursing station about their weekends etc. I had a private room which sounds great in theory but I was stuck because hadn't eaten for 24 hours, couldn't leave the baby to get food and they only gave me a half sandwich and kit Kat as that's what the woman the day before (who'd now gone home) had ordered. But the catering woman said it couldn't all be organised around me and she wasn't going to sort me out any food, though I was starving! The midwives completely left me to my own devices apart from to shout at me for not managing to stay on the teeny tiny mat thing they give you for your lochia when changing the baby in the middle of the night.

It's really barbaric and I think contributes to PND. What I don't understand is, why doesn't anyone actually ask mothers what they need and change things? None of these things would cost that much, if anything., to administer. Telling people to shut up and turn loud TVs off on the ward at night. Allowing people who've had no sleep to rest during the day and not wake up at 7am because of some arbitrary nurse routine. Getting a tiny bit of help with a new baby, especially for those women that have never even held a baby before, let alone change a nappy, bathed one etc - I was terrified of getting it wrong. Making sure the bathrooms are clean. I got d&v from the bath they gave me post-labour because it had other people's bits floating in it not envy. I also had to clean the loo before I could use it in the middle of the night because someone had left it in a disgusting state. Tbh I would have invested some of the money spent on community midwives post birth into post-labour wards. Because the initial experience is so awful, it can leave you really struggling for a while.

OP leave as soon as you can and ask friends, partner, family for support. You've just produced a new human being. You deserve a little pampering!

Yanbu they are horrendous.

I was in for two nights and literally cried when they cut the alarm tag off ds's ankle with just a normal pair of scissors.

If I had known it was just a peice of string I could have done it myself and I would have gone home whether they liked it or not.

If I ever had another one I will be packing a pair of nail scissors and leaving as soon as I can walk to the car park. Unless there was something really wrong (like I'd lost loads of blood or something). Staying in for observation would most certainly not be happening.

YANBU.

My postnatal stay after DC1’s birth is one of the many reasons I will never willingly give birth in a hospital again (unless mine or my baby’s life is in immediate danger).
It was fucking hideous.
I chose to have DC2 at home and the immediate postpartum period, was world’s apart from what I experienced in the hospital! I plan to do the same with DC3 due later this year.

OP, if you’re in Dorset, could you PM me? I work as a Maternity patient representative in Dorset and I absolutely want to know if this is going on in the hospitals I cover. I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time.

FWIW, here’s my advice:

• Check with the staff whether they have an infant feeding specialist / lactation consultant or at least trained breastfeeding super supporters on staff. Usually there’s at least a couple of midwives with additional feeding expertise

• Ask someone to give you syringes for hand expressing / feeding and cup feeding. Request a manual pump or electric pump, whatever you prefer. Your baby can be topped up with breastmilk if they’re struggling to feed at the breast (not uncommon with preemies) and this should not be done by bottle if you want to EBF unless all other methods fail.

• Ask to speak to the head of midwives. IME they’d be very angry about what you overheard last night.

• Contact a private lactation consultant and ask them to come and see you in hospital - newborn visits are typically about £80. Worth every penny to get you on the right foot and advise you on weight loss.

• order a haakaa pump and stick it to the other boob while breastfeeding. Whatever you collect can be fed to your baby after the feed

Obviously a significant weight loss does need management before it becomes more serious, but it doesn’t automatically mean formula if that’s not what you want. My preemies needed formula, different circumstances, and that was fine too.

The most important things at this stage are:

• lots of skin to skin
• keep your baby latched as much as possible to stimulate supply
• get that weight up and get home ASAP by any means necessary

Long postnatal stays are absolutely hideous, but I understand why they need to keep your baby in. The important thing is to get on top of it and get home - I’m sure this is impacting your supply. Can someone bring you more food? Are you drinking enough?

Sending hugs to you - it feels like forever right now but you’ll be home soon

.......and everybody says thank you when they leave. Everybody needs to start writing a letter of complaint. The worrying point is that those who work in hospitals clearly think it's acceptable. One can only wonder about the filth in which some of them must live

Is husbands staying overnight a thing? When I had DS 2 years ago dads could be there from 10am to 8pm then had to go home! It was still not great mind you!

Some hospitals now do allow the fathers to stay overnight on the chair.
I believe this is to combat the seriously failing care provided.

It was available to us when DS was born 5 years ago. I sent him home as I was OKish.

But if I felt I wasn't coping Or was in to much pain I would absolutely have him there

speaking in another language

Why is that relevant?

YANBU. I had an awful delivery and they must have taken pity on me, as I spent the next 24 hrs in a private room, own bathroom etc. Thought, ooh, this is lovely. View of Big Ben. Very nice!
Then they transferred us to the post natal ward. Only 4 to a room, but couldn't wait to get the hell out of there!!

OP, what are they actually doing for the baby? Is it just weighing? Can you discharge you and baby and bring him/her back in as necessary?

I was in a week and echo all the previous posters. Horrible experience with uncaring staff in dirty surroundings.

I also realise now there was nothing after the first few days they were doing for my baby that I had to stay in hospital for, should have got out earlier. Also forced to bottle feed but baby latched straight on once we got home and relaxed (and stayed there for 18 months!). X

@cheesemumma I’m so sorry you are having such an awful time. You are right that it’s hideous. I had to be readmitted to the postnatal ward as one of my twins had lost 12% and had jaundice so wanted to offer some practical advice if that’s ok. FWIW he didn’t have to have a feeding tube as the registrar thought he was otherwise healthy.

If you can face a bit of pumping (and it’s what you want to do) I would ask the doctor supplement with breastmilk instead of formula (I did this). Although obviously formula is completely fine and it’s less tiring for you.

Is your baby jaundiced? This can make them tired and unable to feed. Once DTS was having phototherapy he perked up and fed much better. He didn’t have to go to Nicu for this, they bought an incubator and uv lights to my bedside.

Ask to speak to the feeding/lactation specialist. They go round at certain times of the day. I kept asking again and again so I didn’t miss her and she was AMAZING at getting DTS to latch. MWs have very little training in breastfeeding so don’t always know how to help.

Can you get someone to bring you in a cool bag of snacks and drinks? Even if it’s not visiting time till this afternoon they could maybe leave it at the nurses’ station this morning?

I wouldn’t be worried about asking questions or asking to see doctors, they are so understaffed you can get ignored so it’s good to be politely persistent (although I know it’s hard when you are shattered.)

Good luck. This too shall pass.

OP, if breastfeeding is important to you, then pump, pump, pump. Hospital should have a decent pump they can show you how to use - pump every couple of hours for 10 minutes each side at this stage to build up supply. Drink lots and lots.

Yup like everyone else they are shit. With my first I had a private room and still had a bit of a breakdown on night 3 because of bitchy staff and failure to feed my baby. My husband came in at 3am as I was in such a state.

Second time round I asked how I could be discharged as soon as I was admitted. No private room and I had a hellish night on the ward and nagged for discharge in the morning and got out at lunch. I had the same feeding problems but fuck all help (which in some ways was a blessing as the help the first time round was crap) and I just said I would be formula feeding so I could leave.

OhTheRoses
I ended up discharging myself and DC1, after being plonked in a bed and left there - wasn’t told where a toilet was, they “forgot” to feed me that evening and when I queried it I was given a piece of toast I had some horrendous stitches and a soft tissue injury to my back (thanks to pushing lying on my back, legs in stirrups ) that had swelled like a motherfucker so getting in and out of bed/walking/picking up my baby were incredibly painful without help - but DH was promptly kicked out of the ward at 8pm on the dot and wasn’t allowed back in until 11am the following morning. Every time the “drugs trolley” came round, I was asked if I wanted any paracetamol/ibuprofen. The answer was always a solid “yes!”, but no painkillers ever materialised.
On my way out, after I’d handed her my self-discharge paperwork, the midwife on the desk asked “ooo would you mind quickly filling in a patient satisfaction survey?”
I think my answer of “are you taking the piss?”, answered that question with enough clarity as to how satisfied I was with my “care”

Details of my postnatal stay were included in the scathing letter of formal complaint I submitted regarded my treatment during labour and birth, including repeated assaults by both midwives and doctors. I was subjected to forced cervical examinations regardless of the fact that I’m a survivor of abuse (which they were aware of). At one point, I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs for a midwife to remove her fingers from inside me, and she continued with the examination anyway. My DH had to practically body block her from touching me again
I guess if I’d have been feeling more mentally “ok” during the postnatal period, I could have and should have taken legal action against the hospital.
A friend of mine had a similarly hideous experience at the same hospital, which resulted in a very successful medical negligence claim!

I'm sorry you are having a terrible time OP. I would definitely complain. I'd also be looking to self discharge when you can. You will be much more relaxed feeding baby at home and a midwife can come to you if needed.

I was only on the ward for one night but hated it and discharged myself the next day. They wanted me to stay in but didn't actually tell me why. I think because baby wouldn't latch?

She was desperately hungry and I did say to them that I would prefer to give her a bit of formula than let her be starving, but they were really pushing me not to do that. They could see she wasn't latching and I was only able to hand express a tiny amount at once but I wasn't offered a pump. It's only when I said I have formula in my bag and will just give it to her that they 'caved' and let me top her up to tie us over.

The people on the other side of the ward had very very very loud visitors and I felt awful for the woman next to me who got back from an EMCS at 4am.

I felt very belittled when DH went and fetched a midwife to hurry up my discharge.

When we got home, I was able to do proper skin to skin with baby without somebody coming in constantly, pump milk for her, and get some rest. Much better for my mental health than being there. Midwives came to me to check on my stitches.