To say postnatal wards are the least conducive environment for a mum/baby recovery

[cheesemumma]

Currently sitting on a ward at 11.30pm. 6th night. No exaggeration I think in total I must have had 4 hours sleep. My physical and mental health is suffering. I'm going to have to talk to the Drs tomorrow and say we're going home whatever, as we're getting more ill staying. Its not just the other selfish fucker couples that decide to talk on phone /watch films/ have conversations with each other but the staff seem to not give 2 shits it's the middle of the night. I realise my tiredness and hormones are a big contributing factor but I can feel a full tantrum /meltdown coming on. It's also 10000000 degrees and the enviable screaming babies plus the fact you get 3 teeny portions of food a day so I'm really hungry as ebf.

They aren't universally bad, my local hospital has been excellent both times. Great staff ratios (usually 2:1ish), good food, extra toast brought round if still hungry, food snuck in for husband etc, all good brought to the bed. I know friends who have chosen to stay longer with their second because its quite a nice rest.

But even then, they were crap with medicine rounds, which were badly spaced and sometimes late. It was only when I got home and in charge of my own medicine schedule that I managed to properly sort out pain management. They weren't happy when I took my own paracetamol after the trolley was a couple of hours late, and they sometimes didn't tell you when you were able to have medication in the night (they usually bring it round but in the night they don't, but also don't tell you that you ring the buzzer for it).

I hoe you get out of there soon and congratulations your baby

I feel for you. I've been on shared wards and been 'lucky' enough to have a room to myself before and the difference is immense. A hospital near us has recently opened and has only single rooms no wards. If I was inclined to have more babies, I'd be tempted to go there.

And (I may be being slightly unreasonable here) I firmly believe woman who have partners who snore and yet still allow them to stay overnight on a shared ward deserve to be excommunicated from the sisterhood. They are no friend of mine. Speaking from bitter experience after coping alone on a very understaffed ward because I sent my snorer home so as not to inflict his noise on 3 other recovering women only to find myself dealing with a far worse snorer than mine was. Fucking snorers!!!!

I've seriously just been woken up by the midwife having a chat about me to a lady 2 beds down. Going something like aw babies cute, yeah better eat or you'll be in here for linger like that other lady. Yeah, but you just shouldn't hve expectations at the end of the day it's about baby. Lol. Yeah it's the ladies who have all these plans who have trouble. Yeah I didn't have a birthing plan hypnobirthing hahaha. Yeah they'll be the ones screaming epidural. In a whisper yeah they're the ones who end up with pnd.

I'm now fucking fuming. 1. I was 'a lady who said as long as we're all safe I have no birthing plan. Which is not right, it's just my choice so fuck off.

1. I ended up combo feeding last baby, so I realise it's not the end if the world and I'll do whatever keeps baby safe, but would like some kind of consultantion or information on my child's treatment.

1. If I did have PND you guys have just fed into it.

I'm going to hide in my bay until 7.30 change of staff then make a complaint I think

I just realised something... After the birth of DD2, they wanted to keep me in to check for DVT. I really wanted to go home, but because we had our own room, I agreed to stay. If I'd been on the postnatal ward, I would've argued to go home and see my GP later instead.

Turned out I had a very large blood clot that, in the doctor's words, could have killed me if they hadn't discovered it then. So being relatively comfortable in the hospital may have saved my life.

YANBU I’ve only had to stay one night but hated it. Second time I was crying at the front desk begging to be discharged . The funny thing is my mil was appalled that I was let out after only one night in. Did it used to be nice to stay in thirty years ago ? I’m pregnant again and hoping for a quick discharge post birth but who knows what will happen.

YANBU at all.
4 nights with DC1 (and actually 8 nights in total if you include the horrendous labour ward where I was induced and not allowed to leave) I was on the edge. I actually thought I was going mad. DC2 - literally the second she was born i was asking what time I could be discharged and 5 hours later I was home cuddling my new baby in our calm comfy bed. The experience could not have been more different. I would have done anything to avoid the post natal wards.
I hope you get out soon. You are doing amazingly well.

@cheesemumma

That is horrendous and you should definitely make a complaint. What an unprofessional idiot!

for you. I hope you'll be home soon.

Did it used to be nice to stay in thirty years ago ?

My DM says they helped you take care of the baby and put them in a nursery at night "so you could sleep"!!!

Personally I think this needs to be addressed. Women are at their most vulnerable postpartum and are in desperate need of rest, support, peace and quiet and privacy. The NHS is stretched beyond belief but it really wouldn't cost a lot to keep wards QUIET at night. They could put signs up politely asking for headphones to be used 10pm - 8am and no phone conversations. Nurses could ask patients to keep it down rather than allow them to blather on all night. We all know screaming babies happen on a postnatal ward but it's the adults making the noise in my experience! After lack of aleep in pregnancy, a long back to back labour, forceps, episiotomy, stitches, then three nights of zero sleep on the ward, my milk never came in. So we were back on the ward with a starving baby a few days later. Midwives suggested formula in the end as pumping didn't make any difference.

Breastfeeding rates are low and I genuinely believe the lack of sleep for new mothers on postnatal wards contributes to this. It messed with my head. I just think it's unfair.

It's my due date today. Most of my birth planning has involved working out how to leave the hospital straight after birth and not getting trapped there.

It sounds like you're in the seventh circle of hell :(
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

When I had my DS I already hadn't slept in 2 nights because of the contractions, then that evening he was lying in his hospital crib when suddenly his nostrils and mouth filled with white fluid. A staff member happened to be there talking to me, and she quickly grabbed him and ran. I just sat there in my sleep deprived, poorly and PND state too stunned to do anything. She brought him back a couple mins later and said she'd just ran him to the baby re-sus in case the fluid had gone down into his lungs (thankfully it hadn't). That did it, I was in hospital for 2 more nights with him but was too scared to sleep in case it happened again (was the same for first few weeks at home too). So in the lonely, scary nights I actually welcomed a bit of noise from staff, babies and parents.

I'm sorry you are going through this op. It is completely unacceptable.

Write a list of everything that has been unnacceptable. Then call the hospital switchboard the overnight messaging service should note the title of the person in charge of the hospital who can be bleeped in an emergency. Usually a v senior nurse who manages beds and incidents. Ask for her. Kick up a stink and demand an appropriate environment and care that is kind.

The public have been grateful for too long and needs to stop being grateful for poor services delivered in poor environments.

My DC are 21 and 24 now and to be fair the environment was fine when they were born and food was brought to patients. The atttitude and competence of midwives was not fine. I have learnt over 20 years of being a parent that nurses in particular make an extrardinary amount of noise at night.

They are since some fool decided it was ok for random men to stay on womens medical wards and destroy their privacy and safety. Couples who want to stay together should go home or pay for a totally separate environment. It's disgusting it's allowed.

Oh bless you OP I absolutely hear you, it is not right the way you are being treated.

45 mins TIL shift change. Then I suggest you complain. I would also email PALS at your hospital

My DM says they helped you take care of the baby and put them in a nursery at night "so you could sleep"!!!

That is true. And there would be tea and toast whenever. And men were only allowed at visiting times, although that soon became virtually all day.

@Theyroamoverhere

My DH not allowed to stay at my hospital.

DS screamed every time o wasn’t holding him. So I held him. I wasn’t allowed to move from my bed holding him. So I stayed in bed.

I didn’t eat as couldn’t get to the meal area. When I did manage to get there the food was inedible. Not being fussy, literally inedible.

I had to walk DS to NICU twice a day at midnight and midday for antibiotics. Then have ab of my own.

If you were trying to give someone pnd the wards would t be far off the reality

Yes I was born in Scotland in the 80's. My mum says she stayed a week with me. She slept mostly, and was brought baby only to feed. Then I was taken to the nursery. She was brought food regularly to her bed.

These days women are treated like crap. I had better treatment when I had my tonsils removed. I was checked on regularly and practically spoon fed, and visitors kicked out so I could rest. Have an 8 pound baby removed from my uterus though? Get the fuck out of bed and sort yourself.

OP YANBU. If they’re concerned about feeding, they need to be giving you more support. It doesn’t sound like they’re caring for you at all.

Having worked on a PN ward, hell on earth is an accurate description; especially a mixed AN/PN ward which I’ve worked in too. I can’t say anything other than I’m sorry.

Oh, Op, sounds horrendous.
Can your DH come in early and speak to the staff.
Do they have ward rounds on Saturday.
Are you allowed to discharge yourself ?
I had DS overseas, so no idea what the protocols are in the UK...

It's shameful

My two are teenagers and I have birth to them both in a midwife led unit. With oldest Ds I stayed in for 4 nights. They were awful. I didn't sleep and there really was so little support. I remember ringing DH one night in the early hours, I was struggling and there was no one around. When I gave birth to second Ds 4 years later I was adamant I was not staying overnight. I left 6hrs after giving birth to him. I felt quite faint and pretty exhausted but I knew I would feel worse if I stayed in hospital.

DD1 is now 8yo and I still remember the horror of being trapped. They let me out on Day 5. I gave formula as I knew it was the only way her weight would increase so it was back in the 10 % below birth rate. DH could only make it for a few hours a day due to work, and even then he was getting phone calls (including when I was in labour). It was hot, I was supposed to be in an English language room but I was the only one and they were busy... It was hell.

DD2 was born at home. She was admitted briefly on Day 3 but that was to Pediatrics not maternity.

I feel for you, I was in 2 nights last week after a section and it was hell, people having full blown convos on speakerphone, playing music on their phones and partners there talking until 11pm in the next bed, kicking out time was 10pm and he was still there at 11 despite being asked multiple times to leave, as soon as he left he phoned her and they continued chatting by phone for 40 minutes, I actually cried as had slept for about 30 minutes the night before and DS wasn't well

Sorry to hear your experience is so awful OP and re little ones weight loss.... just see home as the end goal and do anything to get there.
My experience of post natal ward was actually okay first time around, I’m due again in sept so dreading it 2nd!! I was in an end bed next to the window so could open it slightly. I was in overnight due to forceps and a spinal: I didn’t sleep great but I think that was over tiredness as I had slept for 48 hours prior.....
I was fed and wasn’t left to my own devices but there were women who needed the midwives more than me so I was happy to just ask if I needed help.
I had a shower at 2am as the midwives offered and they watched DS for me that really really helped!!
I got out at tea time the next day... thing that drove me insane was no phone signal though!!! Nightmare!!

@EdtheBear
Nursery Nurses are not specialists they are in hospital maternity wards mainly due to shortages in midwives.