To say postnatal wards are the least conducive environment for a mum/baby recovery

[cheesemumma]

Currently sitting on a ward at 11.30pm. 6th night. No exaggeration I think in total I must have had 4 hours sleep. My physical and mental health is suffering. I'm going to have to talk to the Drs tomorrow and say we're going home whatever, as we're getting more ill staying. Its not just the other selfish fucker couples that decide to talk on phone /watch films/ have conversations with each other but the staff seem to not give 2 shits it's the middle of the night. I realise my tiredness and hormones are a big contributing factor but I can feel a full tantrum /meltdown coming on. It's also 10000000 degrees and the enviable screaming babies plus the fact you get 3 teeny portions of food a day so I'm really hungry as ebf.

Oh, yeah, the way they treat women who've had CS or instrumental deliveries is shocking. NO pain relief bar a couple of paracetamol, unhelpful, rude, expected to fetch your own meals, fucking ridiculous! I gave DD formula just to get out there and then rang my NCT counsellor and successfully BF'd her for a year.

Ring pals in the morning & ask to see the head midwife, put in a complaint & ask to either be moved or discharged, tell them you are getting no care in the hospital & are going home. They cant legally stop you, once you are home you can eat & drink properly & your baby will put on weight. All that will happen if you stay in is that you will end up more stressed.

Op, you haven't let anyone down, least of all your lovely baby. As others have said, if possible sign yourself out with baby and go home.
I was my daughter's birthing partner due to her husband being away when she went into labour. When they transferred her to the post natal ward I thought we had entered a living hell.
It's no wonder that women end up with PND and health problems such as prolapses.
It's absolutely disgraceful that a civilised country, and the third richest in the world, treat new mothers like cattle.
It's easier said than done OP, but please don't let it get to you too much, try to concentrate on your baby and rope your family in to help. 💐

YANBU. The night I spent on the postnatal ward was the worst of my life. I was exhausted, lonely and scared. The woman next to me refused to feed her baby and kept arguing with staff while the baby cried and it was so hot. I couldn’t get out of bed and reach my baby and felt like an inconvenience when I wanted to check on him. I was woken up in the middle of the night and told my nether regions might explode (explode was the term used!) so obviously couldn’t sleep while I had to wait ages for a doctor to come and tell me they wouldn’t. Everything about the experience was just awful.

After my second baby I ended up on a two person ward with only me in it but I discharged myself at 1am and spent a lovely night in my own bed.

The nicu nurse kept saying if you don't give her formula they'll put a tube in her. I was like they can't do anything without my permission. And who's they? I've just said to her I want to speak to the doctors in the morning ASAP. They offered to move me to a side room now 4am but they said theyll need it back by lunchtime.

YANBU. My 2 nights in postnatal and 5 in Transitional Care were truly awful. In my case most of the staff were fine, the other patients and their endless stream of visitors were selfish bastards incapable of comprehending that a curtain is not a wall. I hope you get to go home soon.

Awful, just awful. The bloke from the couple in the next bed was an utter prick and spent the entire night either blasting their tv full volume or phoning any hilspital staff he could get hold of to moan about the lack of sky tv channels. It was boiling hot, nobody came to help you, and having laboured overnight the night before, I was just exhausted. When they tried to keep me in the next day and night too I threw a mega tantrum and insisted we were signed off!

@cheesemumma it sounds like you are having a really tough time and no wonder you're struggling to feed. Take the side room and get as much rest as you can. In the morning when your partner comes in, reassess the situation and self discharge if you both feel it's right. Find out your nearest lactation clinic times and get yourself along asap. While its frustrating you're not getting the support you need now, one bottle of formula shouldn't spell the end of BF. I hope they have checked babies latch and helped you. Will you have home visits from your midwife?

When I had my babies ( back in the Dinosaur era) there was restricted visiting - bliss ! Your DH and other kids came for an hour in the afternoon or an hour in the evening and then they all went home. The husbands of all the other women went home too.....hooray ! Then you could play with your baby in peace, or just have a shower and go to sleep. Unrestricted visiting is a killer and never should have been introduced. I feel very sorry for girls who have to listen to 24/7 visitors in other rooms.

Awful and miserable places. When I had DD1 my Mum couldn;t believe how miserable the atmosphere in there was.

She said "When I had you, the postnatal ward was the happiest place in the hospital! We all had a laugh...loads of nice food too" She said it felt "serious" and sort of sad when I was in there. Nobody smiled or talked.

YANBU... I had emergency c- section after full dilation so ended up staying in for 4 nights after the first 2 nights I got a total of 3 hours sleep. I woke to all the other crying babies whilst mine slept through. Then to someone answering their mobile which was set to the loudest volume ever along with their voice! I had an epidural and itched like a bitch, nothing given to help with that despite midwives promising something and it was about 100 degrees so I sweated but was too weak to walk to bathroom and wash. Only got a bowl after my request.

Was first one on ward so heard all midwives conversations too and they came and did blood pressure check just as I drifted off to sleep day 3

So I feel your pain...

Mine was hell too. Boiling hot, cramped, babies screaming, nurses chatting so loudly to each other all night. My DP kept going to Pret for me we must have spent hundred quid in there 🙈 I was in there 5 days. Hideous.

I only manage one night with each of mine. You have my complete sympathy.

With DD1, I had one lady puking her guts up all night, another who rang her buzzer every 10 mins and the third on her phone at all hours. Not to mention the heat, light and general noise of the ward.

Dd2, admittedly I was the late arrival to the ward at just after midnight but dh and I were quiet as possible as he settled me in before he left. I had to wake the lady up next to me because her baby had been crying for 10 minute (on some serious painkillers) When the nurses came round that morning, I was sitting fully dressed, bags packed, arranging for my mum to come and get us at lunch time

YANBU, cripes if I had just been in for myself I would have discharged myself even though my body was in bits! Some personal highlights were the midwife turning the lights on hourly during the night but not doing any obs for anyone, meals being self service which is fine unless you are stuck under a BF baby, someone having 4 family members visit (even though I was only allowed one) who proceeded to talk loudly all night, being told my baby's breathing didn't sound right but no one could come and do obs for a few hours (and wondering why my blood pressure was then high!), when my partner went to the canteen to grab some food being told I needed to feed my hungry baby even though a MW had put her in her cot a few mins before and I couldn't move from the bed as I had a catheter and IV drips in- but no one would help, having a MW take all of the sleepsuits I had packed and angrily state everything was too small and I'd need to get my partner to get some more (at 3am)- they also weren't too small. It was also so hot but wasnt allowed to turn the fan on.

Sorry you are having a tough time, can you ask to be referred to the infant feeding team? Every hospital has one, it might be that they are the ones saying this, but I'd be surprised.

YADNBU after a c section I was on a bay with a family opposite who had constant visitors, sometimes up to ten around the bed who were chatting and on their phones at all hours. They had absolutely no consideration for anyone else. One of the woman visitors actually used the next bed as a changing mat for her toddler at one point.
I had asked the nurses if I could be moved to a quieter bay but they wanted me near the nurses station because of my section. The nurses would not challenge the family opposite, except to be cross that they had to change the next bed after the baby changing incident.
In the end I'd had enough and decided to go home, I told the nurses I had rung my DH to collect me and my baby, that I didn't care that I'd just had a section I just needed some sleep.
Ten minutes later I was moved to a lovely quiet bay - absolute bliss.

It was horrific, every time. Mostly made worse by selfish fucking men snoring happily away, keeping everyone awake throughout the night.

You are not alone and I am SO glad to have come across this post!
I am due baby 2 next week and had a conversation with my family just today about booking a private room as I couldn’t stand the ward last time for all the reasons you mentioned and my comments were met with horror!

I was told I was Being unsociable, a princess etc - completely not my personality at all!

Don’t get me wrong, I will admit I have no interest in socialising with someone purely because we happened to have a baby on the same day, but I think it’s more important for me and baby to have a proper chance to bond and connect and, to Be Frank, I don’t need other members of the public and their children being there!

My husband is 100% in agreement with me too.

Awful places.

With my second son I had an EMCS at 10pm and had a really crap first night. At 8am I was told to go and get myself some breakfast even though I hadn't yet been out of bed and still had my catheter in. I told them I was only 10 hours post section, hasn't been out of bed yet and so could they get me something. 45 minutes passed and still no breakfast or a drink. I pressed the call bell, another member of staff came, I explained my predicament and asked for some food......30 minutes passed and still no food or drink appeared. I has been kept nil-by-mouth the previous day in the lead up to my EMCS so at this point I hadn't eaten for 24 hours.

When I pressed the call bell again I was told the breakfast trolley had gone and so I would either have to go to the hospital's canteen (two floors below) or wait for someone to visit me and bring me some food.

A few hours later, still not having been out of bed (or fed) they whipped my catheter out and a few hours after that I needed a wee. I pressed my bell and a member of staff appeared. I asked her if she could help me out of bed as it was going to be my first time since the section and I was in pain and she said they aren't allowed to help because of manual handling. I asked her what technique I should use as I was still in pain and worried about the stitches etc and she told me to just swing my legs around and get up. I painfully did this and when I stood up loads of blood came pouring down between my legs - I was mortified. I then had to walk to the bathroom which was at the end of the ward, past 5 other beds, with blood drippind down my legs and onto the floor. I asked the staff member if she could help me in the bathroom and she said no.

In the bathroom I did my best to clear myself up but I was in pain, I was scared of opening the wound and I felt so dizzy because I hadn't eaten for over 30 hours.

I ended up just sitting on the toilet lid and crying my eyes out. It was awful.

I hope you get out of there soon

I'm sorry, you haven't let your baby down! Not at all!

Do you have someone who can be there with you and support you?
Can you call your local gp/family doctor? When I signed myself out and went home against medical advice, I agreed to take my child to my own doctor.

You are a good mum, it is really difficult to stand up to medical professionals like that, especially when you're tired/vulnerable/sore and worried about your baby. all the hugs

I was lucky enough to get a private room after birth, which meant my husband could stay. Complete godsend as I'd lost a lot more blood than they thought and couldn't pick my baby up for 2 days until they realised and gave me a transfusion.

The antenatal ward I was on for four days was so bad I tried to discharge myself during induction. Mix of mums being induced and some in very early pregnancy with dehydration. The ones being induced came and went, completely fine. The others were loud, invasive and completely innapropriate. One night two of them were giggling together for hours about taking drugs and then decided to demand toast at 3am. Lights went on and the nurses joined in with the hilarity while someone sorted out their toast. By that point, I was sobbing with sheer exhaustion and worry that I somehow had to deliver a baby in such extreme tiredness.

Further on in my induction, a new girl appeared. Every time I had a contraction, she popped her head round the curtain to offer me chewing gum "because it would help". I hissed at my husband that if he didn't make her stop, I would divorce him.

Google la leche league and see if one of them would come to the hospital to get you some help
X

Sorry I just saw your update about feeding, I really struggled with my ds to establish and I think it was more my stress levels than anything else - the heat doesn’t help at all either!

Take the side room as much as you can, get some rest, try to hand express out even the tiniest drop into a syringe/ dropper and give this to baby if and when you can? Remember babies only need the tiniest amounts to start with. Once my son actually got a taste for milk and realised he was hungry it was easier to establish x

As your baby is in NICU the criteria for discharge is stricter ask what this is because they wont tell you and we had to rush around getting everything done. We had to do a pediatric first aid session, get DDs birth certificate done and register her with the gp before discharge (9 days). If she isn't feeding regularly they will ask your consent for a nasal gastric tube and will give her formula through it. We actually have an ongoing complaint with the hospital (DD is 10 months) because (amongst other issues) I tried to bf but had bottles and formula if needed. With 0 bfing support I would happily have used bottles but they went straight for the tube. Your baby will clearly take a bottle so I would push for you to be able to try breast at feeding time but give a bottle if she doesn't take it just to prove she feeds regularly and get the fuck out of there. Could a lactation consultant come in to see you? My special care unit actually had 2 rooms for mothers which I moved in to post discharge. I would ask if they have these. Keep going OP. I was where you are and had 9 hellish sleepless days but now am planning babies first birthday.

I've just said to her I want to speak to the doctors in the morning

Please, please do that.

I know I'll get told this isn't true by nurses.

BUT....

a lot of the time nurses blame doctors to make you do what they want.

Luckily for me, I am a doctor.

I was told - by nurses - during one admission that I "must get out of bed and mobilise or the doctors won't discharge you".
So, I started walking around the ward...

"No! Sit down!".

Basically, I should sit - uncomfortably - next to the bed to be tidy. Nothing to do with mobilising.

The food was disgusting. The only thing I could eat were the sandwiches.

"Ooh! The doctors won't discharge you if you're not eating hot food".

In fact, the doctors told me they wouldn't touch the food either and, of course, calories can't tell the difference in temperature. Or we'd all be on the cold food diet.

YANBU. They are hell. I was on the wards for almost a week when I had my LB. I went in for induction which failed, had a c-section and was in for a few days after that as I collapsed when they removed my catheter! It was awful.

I have birth Aprol 2018 and it was roasting, they wouldn't let me have a fan in my bay.

I ended up back in hospital 4 weeks later with mastitis and when they moved me to the post natal ward from emergency triage (they thought I had sepsis!) I was given a private room...heaven!