Hi everyone.
My husband has recently told me that when he was about 11 or 12 years old his cousin who was 20/21 at the time sexually abused him for a week whilst staying at my husbands family home.
Once the cousin and family had left my husband finally plucked up the courage to tell his mother. His mother's response was that my husband was to tell noone about this as it would mean they could no longer go on their holidays each year abroad to stay at the cousins house.
Later that year the cousin and his family were due to come back to my husbands house (as they always did at least once a year) and my husband kicked up a big fuss saying he didn't want the cousin to come back again. He begged them not to put him in his room so they let him stay somewhere else (possibly in his younger brother or two younger sister's rooms).
My husband asked his mother to tell his aunty (her sister) about the abuse but she refused. I have however recently found out that his mother's best friend knows about it and believe his dad knows too.
Traumatised, my husband has had to live with this his whole life. Continuing to see this cousin several times a year. My husband was silenced by his parents and he buried the whole thing until recently.
The first time he remembered it was about 3 years ago when his father came to our house extremely angry and it triggered the memory. My husband was really upset as his father behaves as though my husbands feelings don't matter.
They never listened to him when he spoke up about the abuse and they continued to expose my husband and his siblings (and many other children) to this paedophile cousin.
My husband and I could really do with some advice from someone that is un-biased. We know how we feel about it all. We are horrified and disgusted. However, it doesn't seem like others feel the same.
For example the first person we have told about this is my husband's dad's girlfriend who has lived with him for 10-15 years. Her response was that she feels sorry for my husband - however she doesn't want this coming in between her's and my husband's dad's relationship. We understand that, of course we do. But...
They are having the paedophile cousin over to stay for the summer as usual. When we asked her 'what about your grandchildren and all the other children that he will be around?' she simply replied 'yes, I'll keep an eye on him'.
Are we being unreasonable in thinking that this is unbelievable behaviour? Surely what my husbands parents did when he was 11/12 is aiding and abetting a paedophile? They continued to let him stay at their house with their children and many other children knowing what he had done! What he could potentially have done again?!! What he could be continuing to do now to this day?
What would you do if you were us? Our thoughts are that my husband's dad cannot be trusted with our new baby girl. We would never ever leave her with him or his girlfriend. We are thinking about telling him that unless he stops supporting this paedophile cousin he may well not be able to see our baby girl anymore.
We are extremely worried about all the other children that are being exposed to this very strange cousin too. If I had my way I would be reporting him to social services. He lives in another country though.
My husband is the best father anyone one could wish for and I'm so heartbroken to know that this is what he has gone through. I've watched him be controlled and manipulated by his father for years and have often felt sorry for him. But this.... this is something else.
shock