To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

Only the simple fact that there are more children struggling with asthma, excema and allergies should tell us breastmilk is a drop in the ocean compared to all the other crap around.

I also wonder how many wonderful heavy metals breastfeeding mothers pass on to their infants in urban places. I mean, they're going to stay away from tuna in pregnancy precisely for this reason, but then are going to argue those same heavy metals won't filter through in their breastmilk?

So now we're saying breast milk is actually bad?

Stuff doesn't pass into breast milk the same way as it passes to a foetus in pregnancy. You don't need to limit tuna while breastfeeding for this reason.

At the end of the day, of course breast milk is the better option all other things being equal. But all other things often aren't equal. We can accept that breast milk as a nutritional substance is best without it being a personal slight on those who formula feed. Breastfeeding as a lifestyle and welfare choice might not be best, depending on circumstances.

I didn't have a choice and it's always upsetting when I see these threads as it makes me feel "could I have done something different" and feel as though I am being judged.

She was born 3 weeks early. Just after birth I was admitted to the hospital with sepsis ( 3 days after the birth from an undiagnosed bladder infection. This was my first and I just thought the constant pain was normal after giving birth so the infection was left. Looking back the doctors think the infection caused my waters to go early)
I was on multiple antibiotics and didn't want to express as some were unsafe for breastfeeding but obviously were saving my life. She also wasn't allowed in hospital with me due to infection risk so my mum had her which was also very hard but she had to have formula due to this at my mums.

When I got out I was drained from the infection. She wouldn't accept the breast after having the bottle for a week. I persevered though and expressed and bottle fed her breast milk (probably to the detriment of my own health and sanity).
Then it turned out she had a dairy allergy (multiple severe food allergies run in my family genetically)
The GP said I had to be dairy free so went dairy free but she was still reacting; she literally looked sunburnt constantly so she went for allergy testing and was put on neocate as she was reacting to even small particulates.

After all this she only started to look well once on neocate and I could see how ill she looked previously. Selfishly I tried feeding her a lot longer than I probably should have as it was clear it wasn't the best thing for her at that point in time and strangely I still feel guilty even now. We completed the milk ladder and being milk free until 9 months allowed her to recover. She's no longer allergic to milk and has no other food allergies. She has no hay fever or asthma but does have small amounts of eczema on her wrists (which considering every single member of my family has severe eczema except me is pretty good going as the odds were stacked against her for eczema)

God, I hate these threads. This is when the nest of vipers tag really rears it's head. Show some solidarity between women FFS...we've had children, we've fed them. How, why, whatever, really isn't important. Don't make someone feel shit because they couldn't do it the way you did.

My baby is EBF and I’m proud of how far we’ve come with it. What I never understand is Mums of FF babies feeling judged - they are in the majority? With less than 1% of women making it to 6m EBF it’s the BFing women who are whipping their boobs out and looking like the odd one out, not the FF babies. 24% of Mother’s make it to 6wks.

I really think the only people judging FF’ers is themselves.

I feel like everyone thinks you’re being sanctimonious BFing.

I also wonder how many wonderful heavy metals breastfeeding mothers pass on to their infants in urban places. I mean, they're going to stay away from tuna in pregnancy precisely for this reason, but then are going to argue those same heavy metals won't filter through in their breastmilk?

What do you think cows eat? You do realise they lick their own arses, right?

@MonkeyTrap because people on here get really personal for some reason, and say formula feeding mums are lazy, selfish and don't care about their babies. It's a shame as some discussions could be really interesting and maybe help promote actual change.

I agree with @MonkeyTrap. Actually there have been some unpleasant comments directed towards BF mothers - the idea that you dont get any time away/ you are happy to have baby attached to you for hours on end/ their dad isnt as bonded to them are both inaccurate and in some cases quite sneery (I didnt say all,to be clear.)

I do find it a bit silly that there are question marks over whether bf is better than ff. Of course it is. That is not to say that ff isnt a valid alternative. But it isnt as good.
I cant afford to give my child nothing but organic food. I would if I could. But I could BF him so I do. I think it's a little disingenuous to say if you can't do everything right then dont do anything.
A lot of the criticism FF mothers feel is only from themselves. I - like most people I have met- couldn't give a shit how you feed your child.

It's a shame that so many are put off by horror stories. We have an embarrassingly low BF rate in this country.
We have been very lucky, I have found BF honestly completely painless. Would I persevere if I felt my health was at risk? No i wouldn't.

I don’t care how you feed your baby. I’m a big believer of fed is best and whatever works best for you. We’re all individuals.

However I strongly resent anyone saying that as a ff mother I’m lazy, selfish and don’t have my babies best interests at heart. I positively chose to ff from day one - I don’t have any mental health issues, don’t have a problem having my boobs touched and had straight forward pregnancy and labour.

My DC’s are perfect and DH and I have always made the best decisions for them and our family. I don’t suffer from any guilt but am very glad that Mn wasn’t around when I had my DC’s. If anyone wants to increase the bf rates - don’t read Mn.

@LikeARedBalloon couldn't have put it better myself.

It's baffling to see women ripping each other apart over how they fed their own baby. Literally has nothing to do with anyone else. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but I think that opinion should end with your own personal experience. So yes, you might think BF is best and it worked well for you, but leave out all the vitriol surrounding how FF mums are so much lesser than you (and vice versa). I don't have time for it, it's pathetic.

I think ff mums feel judged, when they state their reasons for doing so and the comment comes back ‘ah, if you’d persevered and had more support’. That gives a veiled implication that you didn’t give it 100%, or you should have sought more support.

There lies the sense of judgey. Babies are plenty difficult without ‘persevering’ when actually you could just feed baby formula. If a mum decides ‘no’ or ‘enough’ that’s fine. And yes, anecdata - from my friends who bf, they’re the kids with this, that, the other bloody intolerances/allergies. Weird. The mums don’t have those allergies etc.

My step-daughters mum said she found the thought repulsive, it made her physically ill to think of it. She made a choice not to try and her DP has been happily doing half the feeds of all their shared children from day one.

One of my sisters found it excruciatingly painful and cried while feeding for weeks until a health visitor finally gave her "permission" to stop.

My DS could not latch. He just couldn't. They found no evidence of tongue-tie and we kept trying over and over every single day for 10 weeks. Someone eventually told me the stress I was causing myself and DS by trying to force it could be doing more harm than the tiny amounts of milk was doing good.

We all felt/still feel incredibly judged by people who insist on "breast is best".

Another sister breast fed both her children for 2 years +, because she was able to and more importantly because she wanted to.

I can't believe some are still using that one post to beat people with, or the ridiculous nest of vipers analogy, trying to whip up toxicity.

Theres been a lot of helpful and insightful posts on here, and I for one am tired of all the bullets being shot at bf.

Some actually trying to to make a case for FF being best!

Where, show us please?

I don't believe it's judgey atall to think that support often falls woefully short of what DMs need an should have.

Many DMs do actually want to bf, and need support to do that.

I actually agree with the OP. It baffles me that women don't even try. For literally thousands of years there was no other way to feed a child, so the amount of women that claim that their children wouldn't/couldn't is hard to believe.
Women just don't want to because they don't have to, which is fair enough, but don't claim formula is just as good as breast milk. It definitely is not and there is loads of scientific research to prove it.

It baffles me that women don't even try.

Really? You can't be so dense to be 'baffled' by women having a choice and making a choice, seriously.

I also find it baffling I'm afraid. It isnt always hard. It might be easy. And it IS better than ff (all being equal). So - why wouldn't u even try?

'So - why wouldn't u even try?'

Christ on a bike

This thread is like Groundhog Day 🙄

Why ff was better ......

• shared feeding with DH, family and friends
• more sleep - shared responsibility for night feeds
• DH loved giving bottles
• easy - perfect prep machine
• not tied to cluster feedings/ stuck on the sofa
• easier for going back to work after six months. ( with long hours )
• no watching what I ate or drank (I am a coffee addict!)
• able to go to the gym, dinner, overnight work trips without worrying about baby being fed
• no risk of painful nipples
• easy to see how much they had drunk - good steady weight gain

Most importantly I was happy, DH was happy and DC’s were healthy babies. I did loads of research and made an informed decision which I don’t regret. It was my choice.

Read the thread. To say you are 'baffled' makes you sound a bit thick tbh. Not understanding as BF was right for you is fine, but 'baffled' makes you sound silly.

I couldn’t get passed how sexualised breasts were.

There’s no way I would of done it in front of anyone.

BF babies are the sickest babies I know.

I don’t think BM is all is cracked up to be

ANiceLuxury we get it. You have some weird issue with beasts and can't see them as anything other than sexual objects. That's your problem. Trying to justify your issue by suggesting that BF babies are the sickest is just lame. And embarrassing for you.

Parker231 literally all but one of your reasons would have been nullified by just mixed feeding. No one says you have to exclusively BF. As for going back to work at 6months...no one said you had to BF forever. Sheesh. Weird reasons.

BF babies are the sickest babies I know.

What?

Also goes completely against all the evidence. What a load of crap.