To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

For me, multiple reasons. I had a traumatic birth with an ecs, and I was asked about breastfeeding minutes after I'd came around from GA. I said to the midwife I wasn't sure and she said 'if you don't want to do it, there's no point'. Which is fair enough advice but I do think someone should have offered me help when I was in a better frame of mind.

I'm not blaming her, though. I was never sure if I wanted to the whole pregnancy and I don't think I would have lasted long doing it. I don't regret bottle feeding. I felt quite low for a month or two post pregnancy and I think breastfeeding would have made that worse.

My baby is happy and healthy, and I am happy and healthy. That's all that matters.

@Passthecherrycoke you're being obtuse love. You cant give me any scientific evidence! You just can't ! Formula companies have to say it's not as good as breast - i couldnt find evidence on a website either.

In fact there is no difference between ff and bf babies in the same family (study 2014) except bf are more likely to be asthmatic. So jog on.

I couldn’t bf child 1. I had an emergency c section and a fit and my heart stopped survival for me was in the Balance my body shut down in Intensive care. I was made to feel truly shit for not breastfeeding - every time I have them formula it seems some stranger would made a comment about me being lazy as not bf. I ended up deeply traumatised with PRSD from not the birth but people’s comments. I even had one friend say I has failed by having a c section - really just bugger off. Later children were all early cs and breast fed for 6 months - one was very ill because he was so hungry and I just didn’t produce enough milk even though he fed every 20 minutes. A very lovely midwife hand my hand after 5 months and said - please for your own sanity give him a bottle you have done everything you can. I did but felt as guilty as hell. Honestly stop judging. One friend had bad ocd and ff best for all of them, another friends husband had a brain tumour and she couldn’t be in two places at once, another had been molested and abused as a child and choice a c section and ff to limit the trauma. All of these children are bright with no ill effects. In fact my eldest is healthier than all the others put together. This should not even be a discussion we have - stop making those of us who can’t, don’t want to - feel bad - yet another way to try to control and whip women without knowing the individual facts.

Schools really need to start teaching the difference between anecdote and data. I can't believe the number of people who think "I did X and my kids are fine" invalidates scientific research.

It's like people who insist that smoking during pregnancy is safe because "my mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and I survived". How do they NOT see the flaw in that argument? The babies who didn't survive aren't around to say, "My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and I was stillborn." You're only getting one side of the story!

@Valanice1989 exacrly

I didnt breast feed my dc because i tried it and have DMER which ruined my bond with DD1 and to this day, even though she is now 14, i still feel bad that i let the pressure to breastfeed make me continue until i couldnt stand my own baby. Nkw with dc5 at 13 days old, he is formula fed for the same reason and also because i dont want to pass him any of my antidepressant medicine and wont come off it because i will relapse and all of my dc will suffer as a result.

Thank you to those sharing very personal insights and difficult experiences.

I can't agree that what an adult chooses to put in their body as an adult, like nicotine and tar, alcohol, poor processed food options, or unhealthy levels of fat and sugars, red meat etc, is anywhere near the same, or comparable in any way.

Bringing a baby into the world is being responsible for the wellbeing and protection of a new life, then it isn't ok to confirm abusing yourself as you have a dependent, a serious responsibility, and it should be, and is,community responsibility to be sure the best is promoted for all our babies. The best food, care, socialising, protection, education, experiences. This is all social and personal responsibility. It's why parents fight for their children, or should, as the children don't have the choice.

Although it seems sometimes they do when a DM is forced to bf despite hating it when baby refuses bottle so stubbornly!

It's balance isn't it. You don't seem to have choice there, and many dont, medically I mean.

...but weighing up the personal cost (and financials) to DM/family and baby of any choices available to us.

I didn't want to.

Not *confirm

...continue

We all know some don't want to. That wasn't the op

Re: scientific research - I have provided a couple of links on page 31:

• There is solid (in fact, almost bullet proof) evidence that BF reduces risks of severe gastrointestinal illness and eczema in infancy. This particular advantage can be life saving in developed countries where families might not always have access to clear water;
• There is some evidence that BF might have a mild impact on children's cognitive abilities later in life (PROBIT study). However, this particular conclusion can be challenged if you review sibling studies and the latest research in Ireland.
• While observational studies appear to indicate that BF might have benefits on other areas of child development (e.g. BMI, etc), these outputs have not been supported by higher quality research (i.e. randomised controlled trials or sibling studies).

I actually like threads like this as it shows that formula feeders are not as much in the minority as breast feeders seem to think they are

I don't think anyone who breastfeeds is under the impression that they're anything other than a minority. Especially if you breastfeed for longer than a few months!

In my opinion, looking at the ingredients list of formula, versus the (known) ingredients in breastmilk there's just no comparison.

Regarding the lack of decent research, who would profit from it? Who would fund it? There has been absolutely millions ploughed into advertising formula, which has only relatively recently been regulated. Formula companies are free to fund their own studies (sometimes this isn't immediately clear however), which very surprisingly show the limited benefits of breastfeeding. If there was the same funding for breastmilk research, who knows what we would know.

Formula is a breastmilk substitute, and fine when it's needed. The UK could definitely do with a cultural shift though, which would probably help with the "I find it disgusting" comments.

I attempted to BF my DD. She was 5lb 12oz born and I was advised to give her a bit of formula to give her energy, and then BF her. I was hand expressing colostrum, and before I was discharged from the hospital I'd seen the Breastfeeding nurse, and been to a drop in session.

I tried everything, two types of pumps, EBF, more BF cafe sessions, but after 2 weeks I gave up.

My DD is fine. I don't feel at all guilty for stopping. Women should never be put in a position where they feel they have to justify their choices regarding feeding.

Anyone who feels superior because they could do something I could not, can fuck right off.

Who would fund it?

One of the strongest BF advocates is WHO. In 2018-2019 they have been running a base budget of $3.4bln and a total budget of $4.4bln. They fund BF research work on a regular basis.

Having said that, I believe there is quite a bit of "decent" research available. This includes RCTs and sibling studies. The conclusions do not prove that breast milk is "liquid gold" but they support the statement that BF has got a few benefits over formula (especially for babies in the developed world).

Didn't fancy it & also didn't like the idea of not being able to get out the house on my own. I found it easier that DH could help feed. I also got the impression they sleep longer & rather selfishly I wanted babies that slept 🙄

I never understand the whole "you can't pick out the kids who were breastfed from a primary school class" argument. Most medical conditions are invisible. You can't generally tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them. On other threads, people are always posting about invisible disabilities, yet that goes out the window when it comes to BF threads!

Valencie of course it bloody goes out of the window! There's no way of proving a medical condition was caused by not breastfeeding and it's no bugger's business anyway!

But Henny, people use that argument to claim that there's virtually no difference between breastmilk and formula. It makes no sense. You can't tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them!

Valanice No you can't tell...what's your point though? You don't seem to be making one.

I suspect that what you're saying is "It's better to be safe than sorry and breastfeed in order to minimise the chances of any medical conditions which could occur due to formula"

Well in that case, better not to open the windows either...because a lot of the air in England is shit and can cause all sorts.

Better not to eat any processed foods, better not to do ALL kinds of things.

But BF is nobody's business but the Mothers. NOBODY"S.

To the poster with DMER - I’ve been diagnosed with that too and I now realise that was the problem with my first it wanna recognised four years ago.

It seems to me that women are terrible for finding sticks to beat each other with especially when it comes to kids. Isn’t it hard/ crap enough already without having to worry about what others think about feeding and sleeping choices.

I say this as the proud owner of a six year old sized three year old IYKWIM. At two I was stopped in the street and asked why he was in a pushchair and not walking as a big lad like him should be, at 3 I’m regularly asked if he has behavioural problems because he looks so much older!

It's none of my business how a mother decides to feed her child.

As long as the baby is fed, what does it matter, really? Why do mothers get so hot and bothered over this subject? It's crazy.

I agree with the unhelpful anecdata but it seems like something we can't help but have more faith in. I'm also a bit cynical about phrases like "breast is best" and "liquid gold" as well as describing formula as poison. I think just simple facts and myth debunking would be more useful than emotive language.

Henny, I was responding to the earlier posts about how "you can't tell which children were breastfed just by looking at them". I'm saying this is an illogical argument.

Women are so hateful of other women and their choices, no wonder patriarchy triumphs