To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

Truth, I think you're seeing what you want to see then because the only thing I've seen the people who don't BF do on this thread is explain their reasons and defend their choices against the judgement of BF mother's. Not all of course but there has been a lot of judgement towards FF on this thread. I never mention FF unless I'm asked. I never mention how I feel about BF, until I'm asked.

CrispySausageRolls, that's absolutely fine. There is a huge difference between saying the thought of me breastfeeding makes me feel sick or the thought of a baby suckling my nipples made me feel ill than saying 'oh my god breastfeeding is so disgusting and anyone who does it is gross'.

It's part of my body, if I don't like someone touching it then that's the way I feel, it's not offensive to anyone who doesn't feel the same way. My mum hates her feet being touched, it's not offensive to anyone elses feet. It's a part of her body that she doesn't like doing a certain thing with.

This thread shows the worst of MN. Disgusting judgemental attitudes. It's should be deleted.

In response to the OP's title, YABU.
YWNBU to wonder, but to actually ask IS U imo. The mere fact of asking, especially on MN where some posters are extremely judgemental about bf, automatically puts those who ff on the defensive.
As long as each mother is able to make the decision that suits her, why is it anyone else's business? The only person who needs to understand the reasoning behind the decision is the mother. Nobody else, especially on here where any attempt to explain can lead to the smug, ' I'm a better parent than you and I pity your ff child's comments that always appear.

I had no milk. It never came in. So it was FF or not fed.

The nasty judgemental bitching on this thread is awful but it does show posters up for what they are and God help those poor children with nasty cow mothers as displayed on this thread, pretty low and should be ashamed of themselves. There are no prizes for bf and it does not give anyone carte blanche to be a bitch

My son would have died without formula. He ended up seriously ill because some well intentioned but poorly trained HV made my wife feel so pressured into EBF. Following his return to hospital we moved to mixed feeding but barley a week after leaving another HV was pressurising my wife to "remove the bottle to encourage him"! She hadn't read the history and when challenge proceed to read out a leaflet on the benefits of breastfeeding feeding....of course I was just an interfering man!

Everyone has a right to an opinion. If people who bf think people who ff are lazy then they can. I don't see the difference between bf and ff to be honest. A baby is fed milk. For me ff was worth the money as I was recovering from a section, I had twins, my husband could help, I didn't have to express, think about not drinking alcohol, being self conscious about feeding in public. I admire women who breastfeed, but also women that ff.
Happy mums happy kids imo. Who cares? It's all food and energy for our babies. Where is the research that says bf is better? Even if it does have antibodies in it - does this lead to a better outcome? Not without discussing all the other factors.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/breastfeeding-rates-britain-lowest-world-channel-4-dispatches-kate-quilton-a8468416.html%3famp

Just as an aside, UK bfing rates are measured in a slightly different way to some other countries, the six months stats in particular.

There’s no way, for example, that the UK have lower rates than Ireland. Though irish rates are improving.

Truth, I think you're seeing what you want to see then because the only thing I've seen the people who don't BF do on this thread is explain their reasons and defend their choices ...

Then it's you that hasn't read all the judgement against bf. There have been really nasty comments, unnecessarily. It's a discussion to have, because like anything involving DC it is a matter of public debate. As is good dietary habits for growing DC, or help with managing behaviours, or noticing and reporting abuse. All these things affect the children and are society's responsibility to see the best is done by society's DC.

So how odd that then you actually cite the following, which demonstrates perfectly what I was saying...
CrispySausageRolls, that's absolutely fine. There is a huge difference between saying the thought of me breastfeeding makes me feel sick or the thought of a baby suckling my nipples made me feel ill than saying 'oh my god breastfeeding is so disgusting and anyone who does it is gross ...'

with nasty cow mothers .... be a bitch ...

Those are exactly what should not be on here.

No-one is arguing that FF isn't a life-saver so not sure why some interpret the question on , why, if you didn't want to bf, didn't you.

Some have to, but that wasn't the question!

Exactly what beansandcoffee said. It is a non issue.

I never read these threads cos they sound horrible and pointless. Thought I'd take a quick look at this one and ... it's horrible.

I never breastfed. I have never felt guilty. I have never thought about ff in a negative way. I now have 2 DDs who are sports mad, clever, amazing teenagers.

I have a uni friend who breast fed for years. That was her decision. We never judged each other.

The point of the thread mizu was to understand reasons why choose FF over bf?

No-one has to answer, sometimes it's absolutely essential, but it's not an ask about who did, or if you did, but to understand the reasoning behind it.

FF could equally ask why did those who bf do it?

But why should they have to justify their feeding choices to anyone but themselves? The very fact that the question is asked is enough to make a ff mother feel she is having to justify and defend her choice - why should she have to do that? The only person who needs to know is herself. In some circumstances a hcp might need to know , but only where there is a sound medical reason.

I hear you banana no-one has to answer if they feel this is about defending or justifying their choice. I don't think the op came across that way at all.

Some have very usefully and helpfully simply answered the question. They haven't been judged or attacked for it (barring the one outrageous pp which stood alone).

That pp should be deleted.

There's a lot around feelings of discomfort psychologically, to feelings of sick, or sexualisation of breasts. These have been really useful insights to understanding the rationale behind this decision. No-one has said that the formula is best for instance, some that it presents to them as being less challenging than bf, and not painful (although I'd argue that engorgement through not bf at all is!).

From my perspective it would need to be quite a strong argument against bf because of the long lasting conferred immunity on top of other benefits, especially for preemies. That's not a judgement on others, but my own take on it.

No-one could blame anyone suffering, in pain, exhausted, and struggling with inadequate support for switching. All of that induces other negative risk factors .

Is it wrong for those on the front line to challenge some of the beliefs/myths around bf?

It is wrong of them/other HCP and DMs to promote bf?

That seems to be how some pp have responded, that it shouldn't be promoted or challenged.

No way any DM should be made to feel somehow less than, or guilty though! Many other pp have been angry about having their bf/FF beliefs challenged, not that they felt guilted just that that's their choice and to shut up about it.

BF or FF isn't so much the issue I. It's the pressure / blame that is put on anyone who gives a bottle. Most people are rational but I think it's partly least by eager HVs who have just been "on a course". As above this almost had servers consequences for my son.

I think that’s improving a bit- I had my first 4 years ago and the hospital we’re horrible to FF but had another recently and heard lots of women saying they were Ff and no judgement just support.

I can’t see that anyone has been able to help with my question on page 6 about milk not coming in- is this something that happens that some women don’t develop milk glands when pregnant? Is there treatment for it?
Or is it lack of support in the early days like so many BF problems?

Uk has lowest rates of BF in the world.

I have four children and chose not to breast feed any of them. No reason why I couldn't have done it, I just didn't want to. For me personally I didn't like the idea of it, it made me feel uncomfortable. It's hard to explain, but I decided it wasn't for me. I didn't even attempt it. I have no problem seeing my friends breast feed, or anyone for that matter, but for me just wasn't what I wanted to do.

Can't be bothered to read beyond your OP but I bet lots of replies say it's absolutely none of your business. Because it it isn't.

Absolute shite @Gummybear11

In fact it’s shite with teats on.

The UK has the lowest rate of breastfeeding at 12 months in Europe; I only know this because of the massive signs that used to be all over UCLH tromboning this in your face everywhere you looked.

But that doesn’t answer the OPs question though.

Honestly? It just repulsed me. I tried it for about 2 minutes and thought I was going to vomit.

I have always felt uncomfortable about anything touching my nipples - it can make me fee physically sick.

That said, I wanted to give breastfeeding a go. But it was just so painful I couldn't cope. I figured that if having coped with the pain of a long labour, I found the pain of breastfeeding unbearable, then it just wasn't for me.

Sometimes I wish I'd stuck it out, but in my heart of hearts I know I made the best choice for me and baby at the time.

I did it for a couple of weeks with both so they got colostrum..it hurt like hell, I had cracked and bleeding nipples and dreaded each feed.i gave up.both were very healthy children, university educated and, now in their 40s. I wasn’t breastfed and have been very lucky health wise so far. I doubt it made any difference after the first week or so. We bonded immediately and ff allowed my husband todo his share. Why judge others’ choices? Do what works for you and your family.

Why so aggressive Hollywood ?

This is a complex and sensitive issue, and no place for speaking like that to another ?!

Monstrance how awful for you to have such a strong negative reaction in trying to feed your own baby.

In answer to further thread personally I have no information about why there would simply be no milk coming in. I would probably ask for a follow up appt with my MW and referral for further investigation, someone will likely know, or be able to do tests to discover any medical issue.

I know that some women need chemical support with let-down

There is such little support and women left worries and anxious, either way.

The cluster feeding happening with either bf or FF is something many women don't know and I've seen women give up on the bf as a result only to discover it's exactly the same with a bottle, only they now have to be continually making bottles too.