To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

Formula isn't meant exclusively for calves. It's meant exclusively for humans. If you don't know the difference between that and cows milk, not that a significant minority of humans haven't evolved to drink that anyway, then you're unlikely to be able to provide much useful feeding advice.

Yes Bilben. There's a clear bias on the style of reply.

No-one should have to feel judged for their choice, and stand strong.

I do put feeding choice into the same category as any needs for the benefits of baby (and DM). Sometimes, that's ebf, sometimes it's FF.

My interest is in what's behind the not trying to when the benefits are so huge. Again, not a judgement, genuinely interested, and some have said they don't see their breasts as anything to do with babies. Which is their purpose after all, and I think that's a cultural thing. Women are not bf all over the place for young girls to grow up being regularly exposed to to know that absolutely is their purpose.

Ruckuse
You come in to the thread; throw around criticism and judgement and then wonder why bf rates are so low in this country.
The reality is that many women try and fail or believe it will be impossible. How do your posts help them?

@Ruckuse yawn!

I don’t care how people feed their babies to be honest but fed up with people saying formula milk is as good as breast milk. How can something processed in a factory be better than the natural milk produced by a breast for a baby?

@TruthOnTrial you have been asked repeatedly for evidence of these "huge" benefits you keep claiming breast milk has.

We've all seen the studies which say that breast milk has some small benefits, but none that says the benefits are "huge". So could you please tell us where you get your data from?

Even the marketeers have had to revise their narrative and now have to make it clear that breast is paramount and best.

Sadly the years of misleading marketing have had a profoundly negative effect as viewers have believed what theyre told.

@Ruckuse a hobby love, mine are aged between 24 and 6. You couldn’t pick the ones who had bm out in a lineup

Get a hobby

@Ruckuse , people like you are the reason Mum's give themselves a hard time when they really don't need to. People like you perpetuate PND, anxiety and damaging feelings of guilt. You should be utterly ashamed.

ruthOnTrial you have been asked repeatedly for evidence of these "huge" benefits you keep claiming breast milk has

Sorry Lockhart I have genuinely missed those repeated requests. I do remember asking where the data is on PND though?

Maybe you replied and I didn't see that either.

Apologies if so.

Research on the effects of breasts milk and isolation of elements of the complex makeup of breast milk that feeds not the baby, but gut bacteria alone!

Theres a lot in breast milk that can't be replicated. Breast milk is full of bacteria and enzymes perfectly designed over millennia for feeding babies.

All the formula companies have to bow to this now too, and so they should .

They still don't know how to replicate it. Don't trust them, they spent years killing babies in third world countries telling them FF is better than breast. They will tell you whatever makes their product sell through their aggressive commercialism.

I was hoping this thread would actually answer a question I had in mind for a long time. Instead everyone feels judged and is so defensive.
I really don't judge any choice but I am myself very curious to know the reasons as I only hear 'I didn't want to'. Of course there is nothing wrong with not breastfeeding! And I would never ask why in real life as it is perceived as the beginning of a very difficult conversation.
But I am also curious of the reasons. Is it because of fear of breast getting damaged? Or the fact that the bottle can be given from dads as well?
Again, zero judgement on my side, just out of curiosity really.

I'm seriousness though, I don't remember formula being advertised? A few adverts on telly for follow on, but maybe it was more prevalent in years gone by?

I think you tend to do what your mum and immediate family members do? If you're brought up very pro BFing unless there is a physical reason you usually try and likewise if you were FF that's your norm isn't it. Or do people not find that the case?

My mum is very very pro BFing so it didn't really cross my mind that I wouldn't, however my DPs family all FF and they were shocked and very uncomfortable that I BF - they think it's hippy-ish and disgusting.

It's selfish and lazy not to breastfeed

ODFOD

My guess is Ruckuse lives under a bridge has hairy hands and has never breastfed in her life.

It’s amazing how some of the replies from FFeeders are really arsey whilst others have managed to write their reasons plain and simple without the hint of ‘I don’t need to justify myself to you’ attitude. I wonder why that is 🤔

Perhaps because they are tired of explaining themselves to women who BF and for whatever sad reason, act like this makes them better mothers.

Did you notice the arsey replies from Bfeeders Billben?

@TruthOnTrial you haven't tagged me anywhere to ask about PND.

Again you talk about gut bacteria and enzymes, but can you please provide links to the studies where you got this information and where it outlines that this means "huge" benefits for BF babies over FF?

The data from the NHS as posted by another poster up thread indicates that the rate of illnesses such as chest infections and diarrhea are only very marginally higher in FF babies (0.2% and 0.4% higher respectively).

We also all know that Nestle have done horrible things.

You can't advertise first/infant milk. That's why formula companies created 'follow-on' milk, so they can advertise that instead.

Isn’t the reason formula feeding is a disaster in the third world down to poor hygiene, unsterilised bottles, dirty water and over diluting the formula to make it last longer? If it was inherently much worse first world formula fed babies would suffer in the same way.

@TruthOnTrial since you ask about PND, this

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/is-breastfeeding-inability-causing-depression/#

suggests that there is little link between breastfeeding itself and PND, however PND was most commonly observed in women who had planned to breastfeed but didn't. Which is unsurprising really.

Yes that was a large reason why, the formula companies knew that they didn't have access to clean water or the facilities to sterilise, which is what made it so disgraceful. In honesty as some diseases prevelant in the developing world can be passed on through breast milk, which means as they don't have access to medication would probably make it safer to formula feed...if they had access to clean water; but this wasn't the intention by the companies. I was, ironically, lectured on this by someone eating a Kit Kat once. Regardless, formula feeding is perfectly safe if the procedures are followed correctly.

Firstly I can't see any judgement in the OP. She said that she completely understands why women try and give up/have to give up (so many replies here are from these women who were not the subject of the question- eg. tongue tie, pain etc) , and was only asking what motivates women not to start at all.
I think I can answer this for myself as originally I really, really didn't want to BF at all. My reasons were that I thought it was animalistic or would make me feel a bit like a milking cow. It was just an odd thought- I suppose as it was such a different thing to suddenly start doing and I worried it would be awkward getting my boobs out in public. And in honesty, I was terribly vain. I really worried BF would make my breasts saggy (plenty of women talk about how this happened to them with all the jokes, though since then I've noticed amongst friends who BF for 6 months plus or didn't BF more than a couple of weeks, there's no connection between the ones who complain they are saggier and those who say not much difference, so assume it's more to do with pregnancy itself, and in my case it didn't make any difference to my body). I decided I'd do a basic 6 weeks as I was determined to give my baby the health benefits, but ended up really loving literally every thing about it, continued until I wanted to TTC again (I'm in my 40s so time was a consideration) and now I find myself asking the same question as the OP.

I was hoping this thread would actually answer a question I had in mind for a long time. Instead everyone feels judged and is so defensive.

No idea if you read my reply but I gave it a shot (somewhere around page 8 to 10 I think). Of course people feel judged. I did the best I could with my history but I still feel guilt and shame that I couldn't deal with my feelings of revulsion. That I couldn't give birth (2 x emergency sectons) and then because of something that was done to me, I couldn't breastfeed and instead apparently gave my children the infant equivalent of happy meals. Couple that with the added shaming I got with dc1, one NICU nurse stands out for ranting at me that "I shouldn't have got pregnant if I wasn't over being raped" when I was struggling to breastfeed in a busy NICU. Looking back I cringe at how pathetic I was, instead of walking out or complaining I tried to explain myself with tears pouring down my face. It just reinforces the feeling that I and others failed motherhood straight out of the gate and as new mums that's the last thing we need.

I think support is pretty useless as is the glossing over of issues ante-natally. I did raise my feelings about my breasts with the midwife with dc1 and was told it would be fine, that breastfeeding was totally different. Didn't feel that way to me though.

jennymanara I was shown the same film at NCT. It was the expectation of it being this easy a long with an awful birth that triggered my PND. I will never forgive NCT for only focusing on the positive experience of bf. I was told 'if it hurts then you're doing something wrong'.

When my baby didn't latch (tongue tie) and my milk took a week to come through due to a PPH I was devastated. All I kept thinking about was that film and that the pain was my fault ... I cried for weeks thinking I must be doing something wrong for my baby not to latch like that.

I managed 6 awful weeks of combi feeding and pumping before I was admitted to hospital with an Mrsa infection in one breast.
I was at the point where I dreaded my baby being near me incase she cried to be fed.

People who manage to bf are amazing however If I'm ever lucky enough to have another child I would plan to FF from the start.