To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

I haven’t read all the replies.

Sorry you’re getting flamed OP, it seemed like a genuine question to me.

I’m BFing currently and one of my friends said she finds the whole thing weird. I think that’s because of how sexualised our breasts are.

It’s interesting to hear different POV and goes some way in helping us understand them too. I wish people would see that rather than assuming everyone knows everything and is just trying to start an argument.

I didn't want to but I'm not sure I could exactly articulate why !!?!

The idea of it I made me "uncomfortable" and that's absolutely not because I was embarrassed to do it in public or because I see breasts as "sexual objects".

I think it's probably more to do with the fact that I personally don't like being touched.

I don't like skin on skin contact, not even with DH. I don't like anyone being in my personal space. Depending on the mood I'm in there are some days I can't even tolerate DS sitting up close beside me on the sofa.

No reason for me to feel like this, nothing has happened to be in the past. I just get a panicky claustrophobic feeling.

I felt the same way about breastfeeding.

I can't help it.

Some of the comments from posters on this thread are quite hurtful and yes it is bloody judgemental to ask - even just the phrase "but I don't understand" is bloody condescending.

Way to go to make me feel like less of a mother

No probs ethel.

I did a year with two children. I hated it. It was 'easy' in the sense that I did not have troubles with latch etc. But I wish someone had given me 'permission' or the okay to say i didn't have to. But once I started and then had bottle refusers I was stuck in a very difficult place physically and mentally. I definitely had PND but justified it with tiredness, and the fact that this is what mums are 'supposed to do'

Hi
Thanks for everyone's replies. I definitely was ignorant on this issue (lack of knowledge) hence my asking. I had never considered sexual abuse and sexualisation of boobs before. I hadn't thought of wanting your body back as well. That makes complete sense. I also had no idea forceps can make a latch difficult.

I was never going to ask my friend her reasons (she volunteered it wasn't for her, I never asked how she fed her children). But it did get me thinking.

@flowery snap! For my babies sake and my own, I know how angry and anxious my meds can make me and certainly didn't want an angry baby!

poopypants

I wonder if society would be so forgiving of a parent said 'yah, nah... I can't be bothered cooking a healthy meal. I'm going to feed my children processed food only.' Because that is effect what formula is. It's a highly processed food. I couldn't imagine starting my dc off on processed crap made in a factory.

I sympathise with this view.

I had a big baby, no skin to skin after birth (difficult birth) and he’s thrived on my breast milk.
I have given some thought to the process involved in making formula and as someone who is all about home cooking it has put me off!

I didn’t want to the first time
Didn’t like the sensation the second time
3rd child really peen and didn’t take to it at all
4th bf for 3 years, wouldn’t do it again though

Because I find it disgusting and the very thought sets my teeth on edge. The idea repulses me. Not sure why, it just does.

I swear to god that if we are able to all crack this breastfeeding malarkey then we should all be sent home with a doula/maternity nurse to help mums with feeding 24/7 for the first week.

It’s hard. It’s much more painful than we’re led to believe. Only the very few (mums and babies) take to it like a duck to water. That’s why help is needed in the previous early day’s/weeks.

IME the support services for new mums seem to fail to recognise the difference between “support” and “pressure”.

Sadly the resources just aren’t there to put us up there with our European neighbours regarding breastfeeding still being done when baby is 12, 24, 36 weeks etc.

Haven't read the whole thread sorry, but I really think that the main (though obviously not only) reason women decide not to try breastfeeding is down to the fact breasts are sexualised in our society and seen as an area that should be covered. Just imagine for a second that milk came out of the end of your thumb. Even if there was a chance that your thumb might get a bit sore would as many women really not even have a go? Honestly wish having a boob out was as normal as showing your shoulders or legs. I breastfed both my children, and with my first it hurt for weeks, I think due to trying to figure it out whilst simultaneously trying to be 'discrete' in front of visitors and when out and about.

I don’t see the problem in asking the question. I don’t fancy doing it, it repulses me a bit too tbh. I wish it didn’t, I think it’s brilliant and that everyone ‘should’ if they can but I’m not sure I would want to. I’ve got quite tubular breasts though so it’s likely I wouldn’t really make any/enough milk. I’ve always wondered if my attitude is my body’s way of rationalising it.

However, I have never understood why so many women run themselves into the ground to do it. When they’re having the worst time and hating mothering/life in the process. You can just bottlefeed, bottlefeeding is fine. A happy parent will be able to parent better- and that’s most important.

I don't understand why some women don't give it a go

I don't understand why people can't understand that some women just don't want to!

A mother's choice how to feed her baby is hers and hers alone why should she have to justify it to anyone, it's nobody else's business and there are no medals given.

I have never understood why so many women run themselves into the ground to do it. When they’re having the worst time and hating mothering/life in the process

....and resenting their kid when it has to feed again for the 24th time that day.

With DC3 the second I felt that lightning flash of resentment because my boobs were shredded and she was feeding like mad I just thought “no. She deserves better from me”.

I resented a baby of a week old. To me, it’s honestly not worth the stress. So for DC3, I got to Day 7.

I just didn't want to, no specific reason

I have flat nipples, nothing happening there. Also, didn’t want to.

I spent the best part of two straight years pregnant.

My first daughter was born sleeping at 20 weeks. I suffered from retained products and it took me 16 weeks to physically recover. I'm still working on psychologically. I then became pregnant again shortly after and spent 38 weeks completely and utterly terrified that the same thing would happen again. I had a lot of kidney issues whilst pregnant for the second time and spent the last few weeks in and out of hospital. By the time DD2 came I desperately wanted to feel like my body was my own again.

I did breastfeed for 3 days. I hated it. I felt claustrophobic and penned in. The second she would latch I felt this overwhelming desire to fall asleep. I have large breasts with downward pointing nipples, if I didn't hold my breast tissue off her face she could of suffocated. It just wasn't going to work.

'It's how it should be.'

Not In my life

Oh and I don't have any 'excuses'

However, if I was looking to BF then someone like you would certainly, what shall I say....put me off.

Ruckuse

What a coward you are

Name changing for this thread....

Goady tripe will not help the Mother's who've had masectomies

I wonder if goady fuckery is passed on through breast milk...

If a child staunchly refuses to eat a balanced diet, the parents may have to give in. But it's not best - it's a last resort. We have an obesity crisis because people buy into this "fed is best" nonsense. What we eat matters.