To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

There's so many threads on this, and it always goes the same way. Some people can, some people can't, some people choose not to, some people get judgemental, some get defensive.

Strangely it's always the OP being overly interested in someone else's life choices, but in a very innocent way - honest! 🙄

I'm very grateful that in the real world, I didn't get judged for formula feeding. I didn't have any milk. I don't know why. I'm upset that it didn't work out for us. I'm very grateful that formula was available. @MustardScreams I did read the formula ingredients and have a bit of a cry, but to be honest, if it had contained bacon fat and the blood of puppies, I would still have used it to keep my little boy from starving to death 🤷‍♀️

It’s too much of a tie. I didn’t want to be solely responsible for feeding her and doing all night feeds.

First time, I just didn't want to.

Second time, I considered it but with a 16 month toddler at the same time it all felt like too much.

Pregnant now, many years later, and this time I'll probably give it a go. Mainly because it's definitely my last baby and I'd like to experience it but won't beat myself up if I only last a few days.

I think it's just a personal thing, I wouldn't judge someone or care how they chose to feed their baby, mom's have a hard enough time as it is!

I really wanted to breastfeed and when DS was born he had a tongue tie, the midwives encouraged me to continue to breastfeed though and his blood sugars were all coming back perfect! We were in hospital 3 days and I don't think he left my boob!

I knew all about cluster feeding and his nappies were fine (weeing and pooing) he was alert and not just sleeping constantly so i thought we were doing okay! But when we got home relatives convinced me he wasn't getting enough as he just wanted to be on my boob all the time, and I started supplementing. It is so hard for first time mom's the hormones, lack of sleep and pressure from everyone who has an opinion on how you feed your baby!

DS had his tongue tie cut at 10 days old and i managed to do a combination of formula, breastfeeds and expressed breast milk until DS was 6 weeks and then went to straight formula and I still feel immense guilt about this 15 months on

I will never forgive myself for giving up and not trying harder because it was important to me to breastfeed, and I believe breastfeeding is the most natural thing and for me breast is best.

Other people don't share this view and think formula is best and that's fine too! My DS thrived on formula but I still can't stop the guilty feeling

So if you think formula is best, brilliant! If you think breast is best, thats brilliant too! Just accept moms choice and support her and baby in any way you can

You can survive on milkshakes with all the essential nutrients and vitamins needed. But who wouldn’t want to eat natural produce instead?

Formula is great for babies that would otherwise die due to not being fed. But it shouldn’t be touted as a great alternative to breastmilk that’s almost as good because it just isn’t.

I have an inverted nipple. It wasn’t easy to get it out so my baby could latch. I tried and tried and followed all advice. It ended up splitting badly and being excruciatingly painful. The other nipple couldn’t cope with the demand. I turned to formula to save my sanity and feed my child. It was the right decision for both of us.

Some breast feeding mothers live off junk food, some babies don’t thrive with breast milk.

Stop trying to make people feel shit, it’s not always clear cut. Nobody is ignoring the fact formula is processed and not as healthy as breast milk.

Of course formula is akin to junk food!

I’ve heard it all now.

Condensed milk, carnation milk, a blended Big Mac- yes, could be considered junk food.

A breast milk replacement which has been designed specifically to nourish a small human and meets hundreds of EU regulations and safety requirements, less so.

Not everything that is highly processed is inherently bad for us ffs.

I really believe in breastmilk, personally. I know the studies may say marginal benefits in some areas etc and many women are of the opinion that there is no difference.
My opinion (equally as valid) is that a natural food source is always going to be better than a processed one - no matter how nutritious it is. And I believe that many benefits are not known because there isn’t an endless supply of funding for breastmilk studies. Nobody makes a profit from the actual milk so I imagine not many would want to invest in research.
But for me - breastfeeding was one of the things I was most looking forward to after having my boy. He is still going, nearly two and I have absolutely loved it. I am in no way a martyr.

But where is the evidence that it’s not almost as good? Because the health evidence suggests formula fed babies have almost as good outcomes as breastfed babies. Granted it doesn’t taste great, but I didn’t like the taste of my breastmilk either when I tried that.

I believed all the shit about breastfeed being easier than FF. I was shown a film of a newborn baby crawling up to the breast, self latching and that was it. I had never heard of cluster feeding, or that breastfeeding might mean literally being stuck of the sofa for hours and hours at a time. Or how much it might hurt and continue to hurt.

It's funny that men aren't allowed to tell us what to do with our bodies but other women can tell us we're bad moms if we don't let a baby suck on our nipple... Mumsnet logic 👍🏻

Forgot to say I have no problem with OP asking the question and don't feel judged by it, the defensiveness in my post is because of some of the awful comments on here about ff. Also I have nothing whatsoever against bf and full respect for those who do it.

But it shouldn’t be touted as a great alternative to breastmilk that’s almost as good because it just isn’t.

It is almost as good in terms of measureable outcomes.

It’s a perfectly acceptable choice.

First time, tried but could get it, and there was no support - found out months after bottle feeding that there was a tongue tie, which if picked up at the time and resolved might have helped but don't know.

Second and third, medication that couldn't be changed and not suitable for breastfeeding.

After feeling traumatised by the birth I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I think it was a lot to do with how violated I felt, numerous fingers pushed into my vagina, numerous hands on me, a lack of control and autonomy. I just wanted ownership of my body back.

Bottle feeding is as good as breast,mine are all healthy. I am fine whatever people choose but I find the extended breast feeding totally weird.At the age of 4 I think it’s time for normal food.

Also, if you’re moaning about formula not being ‘natural’ etc and junk food.

Do you grow your own food because it’s healthier to know it’s not covered in chemicals?, avoid plastics because of the cancer risks?
Never give your children anything that isn’t natural?

Hypocrites!

There might be people who didn’t breast feed but whom only provide wholesome, naturally grown foods and diet for their kids.

Shut up.

I loved to breastfeed my kids, always wanted to and did. It was hard work at first, mastitis with one and it can be draining being the only source of food but it got easier and I persevered because I wanted to.

I 100% believe breast is best and that all women should at least try it however, if they don't want to for whatever reason I really don't care, it isn't my business and doesn't affect me at all so don't care about reasons.

I read a Katie Price interview years ago when she had her first daughter and her reason for not breastfeeding was because she 'didn't want another human drinking from her'.
As pro breastfeeding as I am I thought her honesty was great because if you don't want to, you really don't have to and don't owe anyone an explanation.

I do wish there was a bit more emphasis on mixed feeding being an option. The consensus seems to be that it has to be exclusively breast or bottle but you can have the benefits of both!

Because they had an awful time of it with their first child and they don't want to put themselves through that again.

I didn't attempt to breastfeed my first two because I was scared: scared of failing, scared of the apparent pain, scared of the pressure to provide 100% of my baby's nutrition. By the time my third came along I was much better informed and fed her for 3.5 years, despite having to pump around the clock for the first ten weeks when she wouldn't latch.
As Maya Angelou said "I did then what I knew how to do, now that I know better I do better." I'm at peace with that.

How is your opinion as valid as actual high quality research ethel? And by that I mean things like Probit, not just any old crap that blurs correlation and causation.

It has immense value when it comes to assessing what suits you best, your lived experience etc, but that's not what you seemed to be getting at.

To be honest, before having DS I was prepared for BF to be insanely difficult because of all the negative stories I'd read on MN. Turned out it was a doddle - sore nips at first and trouble latching but once that was over with after a couple of weeks it was really easy. Much more convenient for me than bottle prep and sterilising!

I do think there's an overly negative portrayal of BF on forums like MN, so many people pile on to say how bloody awful BF is when for most women it's fine after the initial first weeks of faff. I wish there had been more stories like mine to read, I wouldn't have dreaded it so much unnecessarily.

Because they don't & it's nothing to do with you. Breastfeeding-feeding nazis really annoy me.

Because formula companies have so cleverly marketed their products to make people think there is no difference in breastfeeding and formula feeding them what’s the point in struggling for a few weeks when you can just boil a kettle? there is almost no difference though. It’s already been proven that the stats re the benefits of breastfeeding in the first world have been vastly exaggerated.

Most of the negative impacts of formula occur in the 3rd world where access to safe drinking water is the issue. In the developed world where we do have access to safe water and the ability to sterilise bottles etc there is no need to breastfeed if you don’t want to/can’t.

And the truth is that once your child starts school there is literally no difference between those who were bf and those who weren’t, and by then people with a life don’t care anyway.

I don’t personally give a toss, bf, don’t bf, who cares. But I do think that these women who persevere against all odds to breastfeed, who suffer the cracked nipples, the sleepless nights, the weight loss in their babies are doing far more damage than any bottle of formula. Just accept that it wasn’t to be and give the poor mite a bloody bottle fgs.