DH has issues with me being vegetarian while pregnant - AIBU?

[veggiemummyof4]

I'm pregnant with my first baby (my username refers to my 4 kitties). I've been vegetarian since I was 8 - I'm 26 now, that's 18 years. I'd like to make it clear that I've never lacked in protein (eat lots of beans, tofu, nuts, cheese, quorn) or iron etc - I have regular blood tests since I'm type 1 diabetic (diagnosed for 10 years) which confirms this and have never had to take any supplements, not that there's any shame in doing so. My periods also started at 14 and I haven't missed one since.

DH is not vegetarian and I really don't have a problem with this - it's his decision after all. I'm not preachy at all, and he can eat it in the house (as long as I don't cook it as I gave my brother such terrible food poisoning that he ended up in hospital when I tried to make him a spag bol once )

My baby will not be brought up eating meat unless they make the decision themselves not to. I will support them whatever.

DH is trying his best to persuade me to eat some meat / fish "for our baby's health" he is worried that I'm not getting enough nutrients for the baby to be healthy and grow properly. He is reading me horror stories of vegan babies who have died.

It's scaring me but why should it? Other than my diabetes which has fuck all to do with it, as confirmed by my consultant I have had no health problems in 18 years. I'm refusing to introduce meat / fish, AIBU?

I rang up my mum and all she had to say was "He's just concerned [redacted]. Be grateful, your dad wasn't even around"

Am I being a difficult bitch?

Identifying information edited by MNHQ

Loads of women go off meat completely when pregnant. I did with both kine

Vegans can have a tough time but being nutritionally balanced & healthy through a pregnancy as a vegetarian isn’t difficult at all. I don’t think he’s being unreasonable exactly, because if he’s worried about baby nutrition he does have a right (duty even) to do his best to get that voice heard - it’s more that he is misinformed - so I’d try and find him some materials on it so he can understand which foods are important for a vegetarian & be reassured that all is well

He's being a misinformed idiot.

I'm currently 37 weeks (full term) and I've been vegan the whole way through.

I've had absolutely no issues what so ever including no issues with iron levels.

If I can be vegan - you can be vegetarian!

Seriously I don't understand why some people think eating meat is a healthier diet??

Also the couple of stories I've read of malnourished vegan very young children have parents who are idiots and only giving them fruit and veg which:

1. Is stupid
2. Not even semi-usual for a normal vegan diet

You'll be fine!

(also none of this is even related to y you wanting to stay vegetarian so just shows how ignorant he is being)

Jeez, this thread, talk about blind leading the blind

Vegan/Vegetarian diet is NOT a healthy diet during pregnancy UNLESS supplementing vital nutrients not available in your diet & there are a few that are hard or impossible to get enough of in a vegetarian & especially a vegan diet

This is especially relevant when the OP is diabetic as pernicious anaemia often goes hand in hand with diabetes & is very serious for mum & baby. Ops DH isn't ring a controlling arse, he's simply & rightly worried about the welfare of his wife & child to be & he is right to ask

& I say that as someone who has never really eaten meat FFS educate yourselves before commenting, even the vegan society disagrees that a vegan diet is all you need

I was fine as a veggie, but obviously everyone is different. I haven’t eaten meat in nearly 30 years, that said I will be leaving it to my daughter to decide whether she wants to be veggie or not. Happy to give her some veggie meals and talk about it but it’s her choice, and I don’t want her feeling she has to sneak a burger with her friends if she wants one.

Rockinhippy - the only thing I needed to take was the normal prenatal supplements everyone takes. No further supplementation was needed. A vegetarian diet is a healthy diet provided that you don't simply live on cheesy chips!

@RockinHippy there is a difference between veganism & vegetarianism

My veggie sil craved meat during pregnancy and the doctor told her to listen to the cravings as she may have been deficient in something. She ate a few bits of meat but overall stayed away from it and the doctor said a veggie diet is fine a vegan diet is fine but may need closer monitoring.

@RockinHippy there is a difference between veganism & vegetarianism

😱really, I never knew that 🙄

No diet is healthy if you’re not supplementing with the things that you’re not getting enough of. You can eat meat and still be lacking in certain things

I agree that if you were vegan you might need to take a supplement (and I say that as a vegan!) but I don’t think there’s any doubt that a vegetarian diet is fine for pregnancy. If you end up lacking a particular vitamin (for example) then obviously take a supplement but you should be able to get everything you need from a balanced vegetarian diet. I’m interested in what RockinHippy thinks you might be lacking in. B12 tends to be the main worry and you should be fine with that if you’re still eating eggs and dairy.

A veggie colleagues two teenagers are approaching 6' so I don't think you need worry.

Yanbu, it's your body. Sounds like you eat healthily as it is.

Lots of veggies and vegans have healthy pregnancies as do many omnivores. It’s just about being sensible, getting 5+ veg a day and pulses for protein etc. I’ve had two vegan pregnancies with no problems and have two healthy vegan children.

I’m veggie (DS eats everything now as I never wanted to dictate his diet) and had no issues during pregnancy. I made more effort to have a better diet thought. My veggie friend ‘went poultyvore’ and craved chicken like crazy and ate that when pregnant.

No diet is healthy if you’re not supplementing with the things that you’re not getting enough of. You can eat meat and still be lacking in certain things 

Totally agree with that, but with a mixed diet including fish & or meat you are taking in the full range of vitamins & minerals you need, so you have the opportunity to eat well & have no need to supplement. That isn't the case with a vegan diet or a vegetarian diet during pregnancy when more nutrition is needed & you're more likely to not be able to eat a lot of vegetarian sources of B12, D etc as they're either not allowed or you go off them

I usually ate fish, but was practically vegan during pregnancy & couldn't stomach any of it, not much in the way of cheese or eggs either.

& yes, B12 is the one I'd worry most about as kids need more, pregnant women need more as the baby takes what you have & sadly doctors too often don't have a clue about this deficiency & unfortunately it's potentially a very serious one

So long as you eat a varied vegetarian diet there is no need for himm to worry at all. I was veggie from 18 and had my son at 34. He is now 12. He was veggie too until he was 4.5 when he wanted to try meat. He has been onmi since although our house is veggie (I am vegan).

So long as you know what you are doing being veggie/vegan is healthier than eating meat and fish. You are not being unreasonable. Your DH does not get to decide what you eat. I would try to get him onside now by educating him before baby is born so he understands them being veggie will be no problem at all. My Ex H was skeptical at first but fine once he had read up.

Those worrying about B12 it isn’t an issue for most veggies. I had mine checked after a few months of being vegan and it was fine. I have been veggie for almost 30 years and not taken any supplements for the vast majority of that. If you are worried it is easy to supplement. I would be surprised it if isn’t in the pregnancy muti vits you can buy.

Yanbu, I had 2 healthy veggie pregnancies and 2 healthy happy babies. If you're not already I would recommend adding some hemp seed oil to your meals for omega 3

Rockinhippy vegetarianism is not the same as veganism and b12 is not really an issue for vegetarians in the same way it is for vegans - most vegans supplement b12 anyway. Pernicious anemia is the inability to absorb b12, it has nothing to do with not taking enough in through diet! The only people I know who have it are meat eaters

If you want to know more about the health benefits of having a plant based diet look up Dr Gemma Newman who is an NHS GP in Surrey.

Pfft, many pregnant women survive on one craving or another, ice cream maybe, or sweets or chocolates, or crisps. Others puke all the way through and survive on very little of anything. Baby is a parasite, she or he will be fine, it's you that will suffer from lack of nutrients, and by you I mean any pregnant woman who isnt/cant/ have a really varied diet due to cravings, feeling unwell or whatever.
I had a bad taste in my mouth throughout all three pregnancies that made me not want to eat anything. I survived on ice lollies, ice cream and crisps.. Ha. Babies are fine.

It's your choice while your pregnant but well when the baby is here and being weaned there are two parents to this child and the diet for the child should be mutually acceptable to both not just my way or the highway

A colleague and her baby made it through a pregnancy where she fainted and vomited her way through most of it.

Only read the OP as theres too many replies to go through so not sure if this is what's already been said.

YANBU and I dont know why your husband is reading out horror stories of babies brought up vegan - does he not understand the difference between vegetarian and vegan?

Dont let him worry you!