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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has issues with me being vegetarian while pregnant - AIBU?

180 replies

veggiemummyof4 · 05/07/2019 11:10

I'm pregnant with my first baby (my username refers to my 4 kitties). I've been vegetarian since I was 8 - I'm 26 now, that's 18 years. I'd like to make it clear that I've never lacked in protein (eat lots of beans, tofu, nuts, cheese, quorn) or iron etc - I have regular blood tests since I'm type 1 diabetic (diagnosed for 10 years) which confirms this and have never had to take any supplements, not that there's any shame in doing so. My periods also started at 14 and I haven't missed one since.

DH is not vegetarian and I really don't have a problem with this - it's his decision after all. I'm not preachy at all, and he can eat it in the house (as long as I don't cook it as I gave my brother such terrible food poisoning that he ended up in hospital when I tried to make him a spag bol once Blush)

My baby will not be brought up eating meat unless they make the decision themselves not to. I will support them whatever.

DH is trying his best to persuade me to eat some meat / fish "for our baby's health" he is worried that I'm not getting enough nutrients for the baby to be healthy and grow properly. He is reading me horror stories of vegan babies who have died.

It's scaring me but why should it? Other than my diabetes which has fuck all to do with it, as confirmed by my consultant I have had no health problems in 18 years. I'm refusing to introduce meat / fish, AIBU?

I rang up my mum and all she had to say was "He's just concerned [redacted]. Be grateful, your dad wasn't even around"

Angry Angry Angry

Am I being a difficult bitch?

Identifying information edited by MNHQ

OP posts:
Original poster
veggiemummyof4 · 05/07/2019 17:26

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted

I know babies can't make decisions I was referring to when he / she is older. I wanted to be vegetarian from the age of 4 (I was a feisty child) but my mum didn't let me until I was 8. Maybe my child will be the same as me, maybe he / she will have no interest in being a vegetarian - I don't mind either way

OP posts:
Stifledlife · 05/07/2019 17:30

I went vegetarian at 18 months old when I worked out meat came from dead baby animals.

Stick to your guns OP!!

QueenofLouisiana · 05/07/2019 17:32

YANBU. I am veggie and remained that way through my pregnancy. DS was born weighing spot on 8lb at 41 weeks. My MIL flapped about it all the way through and I think she was miffed to be proved wrong.

DS is now 6 foot tall at the age of 14, so I don’t think it did him any harm!

Jimmers · 05/07/2019 17:38

I had a healthy baby (and healthy myself) when vegan. Raised him vegan & no health issues. Have him the option to eat meat/dairy as an informed choice & he’s still healthy.
You’re fine, OP. Perhaps start reading out some positive veggie/vegan stories to your DP to allay his fears a bit?

Kashali · 05/07/2019 17:40

As long as you are fit healthy and your diet is good enough for baby then it's your decision.
it's not your decision to raise your child veggie, I take it the child has a dad.

MoviesT · 05/07/2019 17:43

Another veggie here. Took flaxseed to boost omega 3 and some pregnancy supplements (no fish oil!). Had a pretty decent diet and a very healthy baby.

If you would like to be annoying, start pointing out every unhealthy thing that pregnant meat eaters wolf down.

It’s likely best to just say that the doctor/midwife should give out the advice on this. If your have a healthy diet a medical professional is not going to recommend you start eating meat for the sake of it especially as you have been veggie for so long.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/07/2019 17:56

Let him know that I survived the first 6-7 months on orange juice ice-lollies and sugary tea and my DD is 21 and perfect in every way!

BrendasUmbrella · 05/07/2019 18:02

If your diet is healthy and varied there shouldn't be any problem. Plenty of omnivores are nutritionally deficient. I cringe when I think back to my first pregnancy. I was 18 and lived on pizza and chocolate bars and crisps, and continued to while pregnant, also wondering why my blood pressure was so low and I kept fainting.

The baby (in the nicest way) is a parasite and will make sure they get what they need. So if you have any symptoms that may have a possible nutritional cause you may need to up your protein, whatever, but it will be for your health, the baby will be fine.

MitziK · 05/07/2019 18:03

Make sure you get regular bloods done to ensure you're not anaemic, take any iron tablets you're offered (and if you end up being offered a blood transfusion because you're 'borderline', take it - I didn't and felt like shit for years months).

Concentrate on getting Omega 3s - I think rapeseed oil is the easiest (and much cheaper than chia seeds/without the tummy trouble having too many of them can cause) - rather than the 6s in sunflower oil - plus 9s from olive oil.

And if you are suddenly hit by a craving for meat/fish, act on it. Again, I wanted to, but the disgust at the very thought from my ex that I could contaminate my body and his unborn child with flesh put me off. Hence being offered a transfusion (which he was also very much against), as my usual food at the time made me sick. So, so very sick.

Have calm discussions with your DH about what the DC will eat, though - by the point at which you're weaning, it is very much his child as well.

Vegetarian/vegan food is far easier to come by now compared to when I was pregnant and crying because I wasn't allowed to have the Asian Vegetarian meal in hospital because I wasn't Asian, but the standard Vegetarian Meal was fish and chips.

NauseousMum · 06/07/2019 09:53

Your diet sounds fine. Better then mine right now. I eat meat, i just vomit a load of it back up.

If dh wants the baby to have meat when weaning, he can prep the food.

Jade218 · 06/07/2019 10:00

YANBU - it's your body and men have to just deal with it. Not our fault we end up by default thrones carrying the baby's for nine months

orangeshoebox · 06/07/2019 10:01

yanbu
it's lovely that your dh is involved, but it looks like you are eating a really good varied vegetarian diet.
your baby is not lacking anything without meat. however, look up on vit d3, b12 and omega3 which would be my main concern (for everyone actually, not just vegetarians/vegans)

Poetryinaction · 06/07/2019 10:10

I was vegetarian in my first pregnancy and in perfect health with normal iron levels. In my subsequent two pregnancies I had started to eat meat occasionally and did have anaemia. No midwife or doctor ever encouraged me to eat meat. You don't need to.

Poetryinaction · 06/07/2019 10:14

OP we have raised our children as you hope to in terms of diet I think.
We eat fish and dairy as a family but no meat or gelatine. Once they hit school age and are not with us all the time they can choose what they eat outside the house (school, friends' houses etc). So far one has never eaten meat, the next does, the littlest we're yet to see.

JMKid · 06/07/2019 10:29

I've been vegetarian since i was 11, so 26 years now. I was of course vegetarian during my pregnancy and raise my son whose now 4 to be a vegetarian. No harm will come to your baby, my son is healthy, fit and full of energy. My ex didn't and doesn't agree and gives my son meat during contact time. Angry

AppleKatie · 06/07/2019 10:36

I normally eat meat but had such a strong meat aversion in pregnancy that I was almost completely vegetarian throughout. It was fine.

MrsMiggins37 · 06/07/2019 10:39

YANBU at all, loads of vegetarians and vegans I’m sure must have perfectly healthy babies!

PleaseGoogleIt · 06/07/2019 11:21

I was vegetarian during pregnancy - DD is a very healthy and wild 1 year old now, who is also a vegetarian - she has no health problems whatsoever and I had a good pregnancy overall.

When she's of an age where she can understand what meat is, then she can decide for herself if she wants to eat it or not.

Your baby doesn't have to eat meat if you don't want him to.

Jinxed2 · 06/07/2019 11:25

Vegetarian here! My last baby was nearly 11lb. Definitely did not lack any nutrients 🤣

Ohyesiam · 06/07/2019 11:31

Tell him to do some research and stop nagging you.

ginger2766 · 06/07/2019 11:49

hey young lady u sound a level headed young lady enjoy your pregnancy and your baby ..your not being unreasonable or difficult Smile x

avocadotofu · 06/07/2019 13:09

He really doesn't have a say in what you eat. He also sounds poorly informed. I was vegan during my pregnancy and I was perfectly healthy and gave birth to a healthy boy. You just need to make sure you're taking good antenatal vitamins. Stick to your guns.

RollaCola84 · 06/07/2019 13:21

A friend of mine's beautiful daughter turns 1 next week. My friend is a fitness instructor, frighteningly fit and healthy and a vegetarian since early teens (now mid 30s). She was fully intending to be veggie through her whole pregnancy and all her blood tests etc showed she was perfectly fine. However at around 6-7 months she started having salmon once or twice a week as she felt her body was asking for it, her advice to pregnant veggie women is to listen to your body but that if you have a good diet, as you sound like you do, then there is nothing inherently unhealthy about being veggie.

NoineNoine · 06/07/2019 13:34

I'm hindu. Never touched meat, nor did my mother or grandmother. We are all in perfectly good health, no one Needs meat.

Whatsername7 · 06/07/2019 13:41

I havent rtft, but, I had two very healthy vegetarian pregnancies. Babies were 7lb15oz and 7lb11oz. Ignore your dh. Introducing meat now with likely make you ill - your body will struggle to digest it after so long. The most important thing is managing your diabetes in pregnancy, not eating meat.