Husband trivial issue effecting marriage

[RockyRolly]

Ok we have a toddler she is 2.5 years and we are at logger heads. I really want and need a holiday (bread winner, do all the admin at home but we equally share housework, cooking etc and both work full time) my husband just will not consider a foreign holiday saying he will find it really stressful the whole thing even the journey. But will happily consider and embark on a UK holiday even with a 5 hour drive - which I would find much more stressful than a 2 hour flight to spain. I've even looked into toddler friendly hotels with villas and our own gated pools etc but he wont hear of it. I've said I am really on my knees and need a proper break and I'm considering going on my own. He said I was being ridiculous and changed the subject.

We've been at this for weeks. He always says things are stressful and doesn't want to go to many places because "itll be busy" and other shit excuses but if its something he wants to do like bike shows hes there in a flash!!!!!

Really feeling like crap tonight need to know if IABU and suggestions of where to go etc if at all possible in the UK as a compromise or abroad if I can convince him - or go without him for a week!!

I think ultimately you need to find a compromise that takes into account both of your priorities for spending money and for holidays. I'm like you and love going abroad, DH doesn't mind it but doesn't like to spend too much so we compromise and some years we've been to France by ferry or stayed in the UK, others we've done something more expensive like Italy or the USA. I've also done a couple of city breaks with my sister without DH and the kids.

Thank you everyone

I’m not a fan of the whole travelling side of things and find it stressful but the enjoyment on my holiday outweighs this and makes it worthwhile.
The fact that he will not even consider it isn’t acceptable and I would just go myself

I literally have no one that would go with me,I wouldn't want to go completely alone and I dont think I'd enjoy it if I went with our daughter and just left him at home. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I wouldn’t want to go alone with a small child either.

Why is it so wrong to want a holiday as a family including your partner?

Is he completely immovable on this one?

It feels like it!

Two words: climate change.

We're just back from a short break to the Isle of Wight. It was lovely and perfect for small children.

5 hour drive and you are there. You take all the baby paraphernalia, yu can move around, and you aren't sweltering.

Go abroad in a few years.

flying isn't just 2 hours - you have to get there, park up, travel at the other end, deal with delays.

A 2 hr journey on a plane with a 2.5 yo isn’t stressful to me (obv depends on the child.) A 5 hour drive would be SO MUCH WORSE. Airport and plane = distractions. We’ve just come back from our holiday and hate it when people say ‘holidays with kids aren’t holidays’ well they can be. Been taking him since he was 6mo. Never been a trouble. Our holidays ARE relaxing. Journey he either slept, ate or watched the ipad (plus fascinated by aeroplanes) and in the day he travelled around with us to shops, markets, excursions etc or in the pool. Two of us, one of him, so we could all play and have fun together and take turns for ‘alone’ chill out time if we wanted/needed it. A 2.5 hour nap a day gave us couple time to chill on a a balcony or drink cocktails at the bar whilst he slept in the buggy. In the evenings, more cocktails whilst he danced his heart out at mini discos and joined in family entertainment with us then on to laps for evening entertainment (he was fascinated) or in to the buggy (and usually asleep) whilst we went out to restaurants and bars and to the marina.
I love holidays a lot more with him!

Also: what paraphenalia do you need at that age?! Not much. Plus air con.
And guaranteed sun!

Plane journey every time.

Nothing worse than doing a 5 hour drive.

I drive for hours during the week so saying I have to do a return 10 hour drive on my holidays is a definite no.

Then when you get there the weather is not great (I like heat)

And we might as well have stayed at home because the town centre looks exactly like every other town centre.

30 minutes to the airport then a couple of hours having lunch then on the plane for a couple of hours and then the holiday begins
Much more relaxing 5 hours than sitting in a traffic jam or trying to keep to the ever changing speed limits on the motorway.

Adding a couple of toddlers that need to stop every few miles because they are bored and it would drive me mad