To not want health visitor in my bedroom

[Babybrainfail]

So my health visitor did a antenatal visor today, she seems very nice and it was a flying visit as I work in a similar role so I am up to date on latest guidelines and advice and it’s also not my first baby, but she mentioned that they like to view where baby sleeps to make recommendations, I said it wasn’t actually set up yet when she first mentioned it but Aibu to think that it’s intrusive to be wandering into my bedroom when my baby is a few weeks old?

You don’t have to allow it. We didn’t.

I didn’t let mine but she never pushed /asked the issue, I just described our set up. But then the MW inspected stitches in there so the whole process is fairly invasive of your house

I have four DC and never had an antenatal visit. It must be area dependent or maybe a new thing but youngest is a baby and didn’t have one.

I find the concept a bit odd. Health visitors are intrusive at the best of times, I wouldn’t want mine in my bedroom.

My midwife needed to check stitches regularly after each birth so we dod that in my bedroom on the bed.

I don't really see the problem, it is just a room like any other. Seems strange to make it into a big thing.

She wont 'wander' into your bedroom, you would accompany her - or even, bring the baby to her.

She asked, she didn't demand.

It’s to check on safe sleeping and that the cot has no toys thick blankets etc May be obvious to you but removing these and educating parents saves lives. There are many still unaware. You can refuse and we will note that in the red book. You will be asked again at the new birth visit. We don’t care if the beds not made or what your decors like. We just want to view the cot to ensure safe sleeping.

I've got 4 DC (youngest is 5) and have never been asked about sleeping set up or had anyone ask to see it

This wouldn't bother me at all.

She's not "wandering into your bedroom" ffs. She's said she'd like to do it so now you can either allow it or not allow it. You have a choice.

I'm a HV. I do mention it at antenatal visits that sometimes parents like to show us the nursery, I never ask to see it though, I say it in a way that parents like to show the cot off etc, unless there are safeguarding issues, which then it is down to the social worker. We have to tick a box to say it's been discussed and whether we have seen the sleeping environment or not. I do feel it is an invasion of privacy to be honest. I talk about SIDS and safe sleep extensively so I know I've done my job properly.

My HV never went into the bedroom. My DC is only three months old too.

I said I would prefer not, she didn’t push it. She talked to me about safe sleeping guidelines.

"Aibu to think that it’s intrusive to be wandering into my bedroom when my baby is a few weeks old?"

Yes, I think so. why does it bother you?

I will be having a c-section and last time they just did quick wound check on sofa so never had to use bed for stitch checks. I do agree it’s just a room, not sure if it feels intrusive as just doesn’t feel necessary. Surely a description and saying no cot bumpers or things in cot would be sufficient

What an odd thing to worry about or make a thread about. Shes probably seen your fanjo and your naked baby- why cant she see your bedroom?!

If you have a Moses basket then you could compromise and have that downstairs if it really upsets you? That way they will see baby’s sleeping area and set up.

Didn't cross my mind to be bothered when our HV had a look round to be honest.
Would rather have anything pointed out then not and remain a risk.
As it happens she was happy with set up we had.

My hv did this for my first baby. Didn't bother me at all. I know about safe sleeping but hope their checking will help other parents.

I opted out of HVs entirely.

The whole thing is intrusive. They are only there to snoop on behalf of social services. I just did as was told so they would piss off.

Our HV asked and I showed her - she was in there for less than 5 seconds. She's there to do a job, I don't see why you'd be so bothered personally, but each to their own!

Ours asked but as the cot was in a box in the living room and the plasterer was upstairs doing a last minute job for us, I declined. It was no problem.

Midwife went into our bedroom as I wasn't going to get my foof out in my street facing living room.

My midwife did home antenatal visits and did my sweep in my bedroom! But I am sure she cared more about my blood pressure and cervix more than any mess or dodgy decor.

I don’t recall a HV going upstairs at all with any of my three or even asking, youngest is 7 though. Maybe because I always had a Moses basket downstairs they thought they’d seen where baby slept. If they’d asked to see the nursery they’d see a perfectly made cot full of teddies as they didn’t move into there until around 12 months.

All 3 did a lot of co-sleeping in our bed as babies, I was told to put DS in my bed in hospital as I couldn’t stop him crying. After having pethidine and being knackered from labour.