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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

389 replies

DismalDaughter · 03/07/2019 14:54

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

OP posts:
MiniMaxi · 04/07/2019 06:18

Ooh thanks from me too for the Gavroche business lunch tip off! Amazing!

OP, I haven't RTFT so sorry if I'm just repeating what others have said.

There are loads of lovely restaurants that do not cost £700 per couple and still feel posh. Weekday lunchtimes are your best bet for good value (as with Le Gavroche) as many have a set menu on offer.

For evenings or weekend lunches, may I suggest you check out Gauthier Soho? I've been several times - I believe it has a Michelin star, and they constantly have deals etc. Very nice French food. It's not molecular gastronomy or anything but everyone will have a nice time and it doesn't break the bank.

Otherwise if she fancies the Fat Duck (assuming it's somewhere like that), consider its sister restaurant the Hinds Head - or the Hand & Flowers in Marlow. Both very nice and although expensive won't cost £700 per couple.

(The most I've spent is £500 for two at L'Enclume in Cumbria which was a great experience but I don't think it was twice as amazing as some of the places where it's cost half as much, IYSWIM!)

cansu · 04/07/2019 06:25

It will not be worth it. We like eating out and there is no way I would pay that. You can go for a very nice lunch near here at v posh fish restaurant for 100 for two. I would not pay the price of a holiday on a meal unless you are v rich

sashh · 04/07/2019 06:37

That's a ridiculous amount.I did a Michelin starred lunch for my 50th,ok it was outside London but for 2 people it was £200, including 2 bottles of wine.

It would have been cheaper in the week but my birthday was on the Saturday.

Just be honest with your friend, it is too much and then tell them what you could afford.

Happynow001 · 04/07/2019 06:40

OP, I'm assuming wines to accompany the food is included in the cost (?) but does that £700 take into account service charge? Tax? And I'm supposing if you are both drinking there'll be Taxi costs involved? It all adds up...

KatherineJaneway · 04/07/2019 07:07

Old money do not do these kind of things. It is really the preserve of the new money blingers. Sorry if you disagree with that.

Clearly you don't dine regularly at The Waterside Inn if that's your view.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/07/2019 07:13

Even if I were rich I would never spend that much on a bloody meal. What a colossal waste of money. No food can be that good. YANBU.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/07/2019 07:14

Although I would never pay more than £20 a head for a meal so maybe I'm the wrong person to ask!

LaurieMarlow · 04/07/2019 07:23

Old money do not do these kind of things. It is really the preserve of the new money blingers

God what a load of self serving shit

Al203 · 04/07/2019 07:24

Vanilla Black is awesome! It’s like they have to go the extra mile on flavours because it’s a veggie restaurant. I too was blown away.

Costliest meal was treating a colleague to a meal for some good work, who then ordered a bottle of wine which cost €675, though it was accidental on their part.

TheoriginalLEM · 04/07/2019 07:28

Its fucking obscenity

Redact · 04/07/2019 07:33

I've been to quite a few Michelin starred restaurants and not paid £700 and that's been for both tasting menu and wine pairing flight to go with the tasting menu

RandomNameChange415 · 04/07/2019 07:37

Even if it were true that this is the sort of thing only enjoyed by people who’ve earned their own money rather than been given it by granny (which it’s not IME) then that’s hardly a criticism is it?

WholelottaPaint · 04/07/2019 07:38

Old money do not do these kind of things. It is really the preserve of the new money blingers This is probably the case for old money - cash poor, trying to pretend this kind of stuff is beneath them because they can’t afford it! It’s funny how they do that to anything they can’t afford - who knows they might even manage to fool themselves into believing this!

SallyWD · 04/07/2019 07:40

I wouldn't go even if I could afford it. I don't care how good the food is.

MirrorHope · 04/07/2019 07:43

I've been to a few Michelin starred restaurants I'm thinking in France the most we paid for two of us was about €400 but here in England we had a £300 meal about 4-5 months ago and we did add on courses have a cocktail each and one bottle of wine.

After the meal in England I was so ill the next day (D&V)! Now I've said I'm not going to bother with these types of restaurants food is too rich and makes me ill!

ValleyoftheHorses · 04/07/2019 07:44

I don’t think I would do it in your shoes. We have done a few Michelin starred restaurants- the best was probably L’Enclume which was £700 for dinner with wine flight, bed and breakfast. That was for my 40th.
Lunch for that money seems ridiculous.
Let them go to the expensive restaurant on their own or with different friends and suggest a lunch out somewhere more reasonable.

LaurieMarlow · 04/07/2019 07:45

I’m always baffled as to why we’re supposed to see old money as superior to new?

Because you got gifted something and didn’t have to work for it makes it better? I don’t follow.

Dodahdodah · 04/07/2019 07:58

We’ve been to a handful of Michelin starred restaurants. No way was it that expensive.

rookiemere · 04/07/2019 07:59

Definitely say no - that's a ridiculous sum of money,

Plus if you go as a foursome with an expectation that the bill is split in half, you could end up spending way more if they are seeing it as an opportunity to treat themselves ( although to be fair I'm not sure how it could be more than £700).

I used to like expensive eateries but now as I get older I'd much rather eat somewhere cheaper and save my money for holidays. Also many less expensive restaurants- particularly ethnic ones - have amazing food.

ZenNudist · 04/07/2019 08:10

I wouldn't. Ive eaten at MS restaurants before and not spent so much but dont really enjoy the fancy food.

WholelottaPaint · 04/07/2019 08:30

I’m always baffled as to why we’re supposed to see old money as superior to new? I know - imagine actually earning your own money - spending your own money instead of your parents - the shame of it! 😮

PinkPeonyPlease · 04/07/2019 08:32

In my circle you pay for your mates if you take them out for a significant birthday.
If the expectation is that you'll split the bill just be honest and suggest some other places.

CornishMaid1 · 04/07/2019 09:04

I wouldn't do it. I want to take DH to Nathan Outlaws and the lunch menu is £140pp but DH won't even let me pay that (which we could do for his birthday).

Whilst we could come up with £700 for a lunch, I just could not bring myself to spend that much on one meal, even if it is Michelin starred.

If she is that good a friend, be honest with her that whilst you would love to go for a great lunch you just cannot afford to pay that much, so if they want to still have that lunch they can and you will have a separate lunch with her another time to celebrate. You could have a look at 'posh' lunches that are more affordable and suggest somewhere else instead.

ferretface · 04/07/2019 09:06

Another much cheaper suggestion - go for lunch at Bonham's (the auction house) in London. It has a very good Michelin starred restaurant and the best bit is that they allow corkage - so you can buy some bottles of something really fab, the sort of thing you'd be paying over the odds for if it were on their own wine list, but enjoy it for 15 quid corkage alongside a fab meal.

Me and my husband take the afternoon off work and do it for our birthdays each year 😁

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