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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s too early!

175 replies

Sundancer77 · 03/07/2019 09:24

Aibu to really hate dropping my dp off to work at 7.15 am after having almost no sleep with a 11 month old baby 🤷‍♀️
Dp has a new job around 20 minutes drive away, we live in an area where no transport goes there at that time and he doesn’t drive at the moment.
I feel like crying after just a few hours sleep and then quickly putting baby into car and trying to stay awake in order to drive there..aibu to really hate it 🤷‍♀️
Are there any other soloutions? Are Uber’s super expensive?

OP posts:
Reith · 03/07/2019 09:44

He only started yesterday? So you've done this twice?

Evianne529 · 03/07/2019 09:44

Cycling 45 mins is perfectly normal in cities like London. He needs to do it! It will keep him fit and healthy also.

Nyancat · 03/07/2019 09:44

Get him to cycle. Both DH and I cycle to work and the morning and evening cycles are brilliant, easy way to fit in exercise when you have a new baby and time is short and it gives you time to clear your head out of work mode and into family mode by the time you get home or vice versa.

TapasForTwo · 03/07/2019 09:45

For those posters saying just use public transport. I live in a rural area. It isn't that surprising that public transport might not be available that early in the morning Hmm

EarlGreyofTwinnings · 03/07/2019 09:47

It isn't that surprising that public transport might not be available that early in the morning

It's a question, no one knows if there is none, or if there could be some on the way. Since when is 7am that early?

Damntheman · 03/07/2019 09:48

He needs to cycle, 45 mins is a fine bike commute! It'll do him some good and you're very likely not safe to drive if you're sleep deprived. He's being unreasonable if he expects you and your baby to wake up just so he doesn't have to bike to work.

adaline · 03/07/2019 09:49

He must be able to get public transport some of the way OP?

Why do you think that? Not everywhere has access to public transport.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 03/07/2019 09:49

How much would a taxi cost? If you can afford it a couple of mornings, it would help.
I wouldn't be asking for lift shares with colleagues - they don't even know him yet.

adaline · 03/07/2019 09:50

Since when is 7am that early?

Lots of rural communities don't have any public transport, or if they do it's access to a bus that runs twice a day at a maximum.

pinkyredrose · 03/07/2019 09:50

45 mins cycling is doable. I used to cycle an hour each way to work.

Floralnomad · 03/07/2019 09:52

YABU , how do you think people who actually go to work cope with night wakings .

Waiting1987 · 03/07/2019 10:00

I can see how it would be frustrating. However lots of women are back at work when baby is 11 months (myself included) so have no choice to get up and out the house.

Original poster
Sundancer77 · 03/07/2019 10:03

He started yesterday but I can see this being fairly long term unless we sort an alternative.
The initial plan was to cycle and he’s done the route a couple of times-but it is fairly far! Not something I’d want to do, tbf..I think he woke up feeling too tired to cycle 🤷‍♀️
Have checked and no public transport at that time, very different here to the majority of the uk for ease of public transport.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/07/2019 10:05

If he's bought a bicycle, why isn't he using it?

adaline · 03/07/2019 10:05

How long will it take him to get his license back? Could you maybe take him half the time and he takes himself the rest?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/07/2019 10:07

I think he woke up feeling too tired to cycle

But it's OK for you to drive with no sleep? Just put your foot down. Tell him to literally, get on his bike.

Sparklesocks · 03/07/2019 10:07

He should at the very least cycle a few days a week to take the burden off you.

Original poster
Sundancer77 · 03/07/2019 10:07

@Floralnomad @Waiting1987 I know. I went back to teaching after Christmas when she was 5 months old and found it v hard (was made redundant not long after)
We didn’t have to be up as early as this and the babysitter/childminder came to us, so Dd wasn’t woken up and shoved in her car seat.
She’s not sleeping due to 4 new teeth at the moment so we’re having to get her up when she’s asleep, she then wakes and cries all the way there and back..I just wish there was an easier soloution.

OP posts:
thedevondumpling · 03/07/2019 10:07

Why not try uber, then you will know if it is affordable. I don't know if they will give you a price in advance but maybe someone here could advise.

Even if it is only affordable a couple of times a week it might make it more bearable.

jaseyraex · 03/07/2019 10:08

Definitely needs to cycle. If you're too tired to drive, you could crash! That would be you, DH and your baby injured or worse. Tell him to get up early and get on the bike, maybe drive him if you've had a good night with the baby but I certainly wouldn't be driving him every day on next to no sleep.

DrVonPatak · 03/07/2019 10:10

Wait, he only started yesterday - so you did it for 2 days and he's sorting his driving licence out?

Oh, give over.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 03/07/2019 10:10

Your husband should have given this more thought before taking the job - had a few goes at the cycle route etc. I think he's selfish to say that he's too tired to cycle but you are not too tired having been up with the baby.
Maybe he should do the night care for DD if he wants you to drive him to work safely in the morning. I virtually guarantee that cycling will suddenly become a lot more appealing to him!
How soon can he get his license back?

TulipsTwoLips · 03/07/2019 10:12

Could he cycle to a colleagues then lift share from there?

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/07/2019 10:12

Care share.
Bike - it's a reasonable commute for 1 way only.
Bike to where the public transport is.

If you aren't save to drive its not fair to put your family, or anyone else, at risk.

Teddybear45 · 03/07/2019 10:15

If you’re doing the driving in the morning then he should be staying up with the baby. He can’t have it both ways.

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