Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Nasty

132 replies

Snooky84 · 02/07/2019 13:40

Aibu to think mumsnet is getting nastier and crueler. When we should be supporting each other or giving well meant advice.
Also what's the worst thing you've ever read on mumsnet?

OP posts:
MonstranceClock · 02/07/2019 13:42

I've only been here for 5 years, but it's definitely gotten worse over the last 2.

VivienneHolt · 02/07/2019 13:43

The equal worst things in my opinion are the transphobia and the sheer volume of women who have abusive, shitty, unkind, lazy, thoughtless, selfish partners. Some of the stuff you read on here that women think is totally normal is just so depressing.

I agree there are some posters who get a kick out of being cruel, but there’s lots of good advice and support too.

SpoonBlender · 02/07/2019 13:53

There's more dogpiling than there used to be. One person being a shit to the OP doesn't usually trigger it, but once a second person gets a snippy comment in, the hordes always seem to descend. Hide thread, move on.

All the trans shit (which is always very prettily argued but usually comes down to MEN WILL DRESS AS WOMEN TO INVADE OUR SAFE SPACES AND RAPE US once the usual suspects have joined the thread) - hide Feminism topic, cleans most of it up at an acceptable-to-me loss of good feminist posts. If there are any left in that cess pit.

SpoonBlender · 02/07/2019 13:55

The place is mostly positive though - it's just that those are the threads that go to 700 posts and spend all their time in Active, so as usual the shouting minority get their voices heart. Or in my case, Hidden.

Thanks to everyone who doesn't just rant, rave and go adversarial at a moment's notice.

MyOpinionIsValid · 02/07/2019 13:59

I agree - the trans stuff on here is absolute filth at best. It absolutely shows that women can be equally misogynistic towards other women.

I tend to reserve my ire for people who cant make their mind what leg to put out of bed first – the standard ‘ooh what shall I buy in Aldi’ etc.

familycourtq · 02/07/2019 14:22

I have been on here for > 10 years - it's always been more nasty than it was.

squeekywheel · 02/07/2019 14:32

The pile on thing drives me mad. Usually most of them haven't even read the OP properly and are responding to some made-up bollocks in their own heads.

dudsville · 02/07/2019 14:43

I think I increasingly live in a more critical and dissatisfied environment. I feel like there's a rise in complaints about small things, fewer people seem to be able to bear minor irritants, and act as if the world should conform to their own set of beliefs. I don't know if I'm just becoming more sensitive to it or if it really is on the rise but I'm so sick of hearing people complain about the small stuff. I wish mn had never started Malibu.

dudsville · 02/07/2019 14:43

Malibu? Aibu!

NoBaggyPants · 02/07/2019 15:14

I didn't realise what a bad reputation MN had outside of the MN community. When the forum was down earlier I searched Twitter (to see if others also couldn't access it) and the majority of the results were calling out (and giving examples of) the transphobic attitudes of some MN posters. It made for depressing reading, and I can't imagine how that would feel if I was a transperson reading all that hate.

SpoonBlender · 02/07/2019 18:06

Yeah, mumsnet in the wider web is "that bunch of idiot transphobes that all follow Graham Linehan's lead". Truly embarrassing.

InsertFunnyUsername · 02/07/2019 18:16

You get the posters that are trying to be hiiiilaaaaaarious, The poster who doesn't agree with the majority of PP, who then gets told they're just going against the grain to be that poster. Then certain Posters have this, i dont know how to describe it but "This is my opinion anyone else who thinks otherwise is so stupid ha ha 😂" then the spelling police 😴

BUT i have had some great advice and reassurance from posters, so its worth it. Just get your piss off response ready and it's all good.

PositiveVibez · 02/07/2019 18:19

Also what's the worst thing you've ever read on mumsnet?

Why would you want posters to repeat the nastiest things they have read?

AuntieStella · 02/07/2019 18:19

Did you know there is a persistent and much deleted 'You're all bitches' troll?

If you see unpleasant comments, deal with them on the thread on which they occur (n the thread or by reporting to MNHQ if you think they are really beyond the pale). That's much more likely to produce results than denigrating swathes of unspecified posters in yet another thread that is so reminiscent of that troll.

Cocoloco2019 · 02/07/2019 18:46

I’m new here. But me and DP are always in stitches at how nasty and bitter some of these women are.

sneakypinky · 02/07/2019 18:46

FFS, another OP posting in AIBU.

AIBU is the fight club topic. If you don't like it post in Chat or one of the topic boards.

Tonnit · 02/07/2019 18:46

Agree. Worst thing I read was on my own thread. I was in quite a dark and vunrable situation and I was seeking support/advice on my own DC being exposed to highly inappropriate behaviour from a family member. As the thread developed, a poster pointed out that my user name had a swear word in it (twat) and that I was being totally unreasonable and hypocritical for asking such a question when I had an offensive word in my own username (WTF?!)

After a while, loads of posters just jumped on the bandwagon scrutinising myself due to my choice of username and it became a horrible attack on myself. I've never forgotten how it made me feel. Total, total pack bullying behaviour from horrible people.

Since then, I take it all with a pinch of salt and change my username every few posts. I now read for entertainment value and nothing more.

Jayaywhynot · 02/07/2019 19:12

Totally agree, iv been on here less than a yr and iv started noticing particular user names as they are always the ones saying nasty shit. Its tantamount to bullying, sitting behind their screens hurting people, its vile. On the other hand there seems to be some really caring people on here

SilverySurfer · 02/07/2019 19:57

How original, a thread telling us how nasty we are. There hasn't been one of these since.............oo I don't know ........... at least a
week.

It's so dreadful that you are being kept here against your will. What horrible person has removed the X in the top right hand corner of your screen? Hmm

gamerchick · 02/07/2019 20:01

I've only been here for 5 years, but it's definitely gotten worse over the last 2

I noticed a definate shift around sept/Oct 2017. As times gone on it seems (to me) we've been invaded by MRA, determined to poison the place from the inside.

Of course, that's just my opinion like....

Nautiloid · 02/07/2019 20:02

I like the interaction in general. I find the transphobia for which the site is now notorious to be offensive to the point it wouldn't take much for me to leave.

Sparklingbrook · 02/07/2019 20:02

The worst thing I have read on here is posters asking for a Like button.

MonstranceClock · 02/07/2019 20:05

The troll hunting is making it really shit as well.

BullBullBull · 02/07/2019 20:06

The transphobia is shocking and I’ve hidden feminism. I give it 5 posts before someone will come on to say there is no transphobia. Always happens.

MonstranceClock · 02/07/2019 20:09

It will be the "If you see any transphobia, you can report it and it will be removed" ignorant response that they always wheel out.