Nasty

[Snooky84]

Aibu to think mumsnet is getting nastier and crueler. When we should be supporting each other or giving well meant advice.
Also what's the worst thing you've ever read on mumsnet?

How has MN gotten nasty in the past week OP? You've only been here for a short while...

How has MN gotten nasty in the past week OP? You've only been here for a short while...

MN offers a name change feature which allows you to change your username and any posts under your old username won’t come up when searching your new username, IYSWIM. I imagine OP has recently taken advantage of this feature

Also what's the worst thing you've ever read on mumsnet?

Someone actually recommended putting peanut butter on pizza.

I think it’s always been similar and I’ve used it on and off for approx six years now.

AIBU has always been harsh.

The transphobia is horrific. At first I though the best way to deal with this would be to reply to threads and offer a different opinion, but I am coming to think it’s pointless and it might be best to give up on MN altogether.

There are fewer posts altogether as well so maybe the site is on its way out.

There are millions of sites that will go on about how TWAW if you are the type that enjoys ignoring basic biology, why not try them?

I don't go on 4chan and complain about how the posters are horrid meanbeans. It seems it's only women who have to be lovely and nice all the time, how interesting!!!!

And this topic comes up constantly. I started on here 10 years ago and people were complaining about "nastiness" then.

Why come somewhere you dislike?

Baffling.

There is no transphobia just TRAs/MRAs saying there is. Mumsnet has been at the forefront of protecting women's spaces and keeping sports sex based. The recent success in halting GRA reform in Scotland and likely in England too has got certain people rattled and their usual silencing tactics aren't working

This.

This thread is plainly yet another tedious effort to get a certain trans agenda onto AIBU.

Who cares what other sites think of MN? If you don't like it, don't read it, no-one's making you.

I haven't seen transphobia on here. No one has a said a man should not dress as, have the outward characteristics of or call himself a woman or vice versa.

I think the problem is that many people come on here to have their feelings/opinions validated and when someone expresses an opinion that isn't in agreement with the OP then it is often construed as being nasty when actually we re all entitled to our opinions. Dont come on here for advice from a load of strangers if you don't want to be told you are in the wrong on occasion

It was better before the daily fail started banging on about it. That attracted some unsavoury behaviour. Best thing to do is ignore those posters and hope they'll go away.
I think I've been around for about 10 years. I used to be in stitches laughing at the banter. It was brilliant. Mumsnet has changed since then. It's much more angsty, argumentative and judgemental.
I rarely see uplifting funny stuff these days.

Meh, you get out what you put in. You've obviously missed all the supportive posts, the advice, the love, the affirmation and the fun. If you look for bad things, you'll find them. But that goes for any situation. A site as popular as MN is bound to attract some wrong 'uns - the MRAs and Incels are here in spades, but at least it's always easy to spot and laugh at them 😃

This is just one of those threads to wind people up where the OP watches from the sidelines but doesn’t post.

I find Mumsnet a wonderful resource. Women learning from each other, laughing together and supporting each other. It's a fabulous place.

Transphobic? Piffle It doesn't seem at all odd or hateful that a site with a large feminist community and so many mothers should fight for the rights of women and safety of children, and be vigilant over harm done to their interests.

That transactivist demands do significant harm to those interests is on TRAs, not women. It's less a rights movement and more of a land grab. Feminists oppose the ideology, not individuals..

Actual transphobia should be reported straight away. I reported an incident only yesterday.

I dint agree that it should always be supportive. The whole "ur baby ur rules" or " happy baby happy mama" stuff is shit.

If someone's posting that they are dredging their three week old a roast dinner, or that they dont believe their child needs to read or ever have a bath or allows them to swear like a trooper at teachers and thinks it's funny, they're going to get brutally honest opinions.

There are other parenting sites if you want the "awwww hun, ur a gr8 mum" stuff.

Oh and MN will delete transphobic posts. Saying that you don't accept that a woman can have a penis isn't transphobic.

This thread is plainly yet another tedious effort to get a certain trans agenda onto AIBU.

To be fair, the OP has said nothing about transphobia. It was myself and other posters who introduced it by saying that in our view it’s the worst part of this site.

Saying that you don't accept that a woman can have a penis isn't transphobic.

No, it definitely is. It really, really is. You don’t have to straight up say ‘I hate trans people’ to be transphobic. Seems like a common misconception on mumsnet apparently.

Whatever. Not going to start arguing the toss over whether or not women can have dicks

But it's perfectly possible to accept that EVERYONE ought to be treated with compassion and be free from discrimination and still accept the biological definition of "woman".

No, it definitely is. It really, really is. You don’t have to straight up say ‘I hate trans people’ to be transphobic. Seems like a common misconception on mumsnet apparently.

Yes, very much this.

Getting accused of being an MRA when you have a differing opinion is getting very tedious as well

Mumsnet was a lifesaver for me when I had severe PND - I posted a thread (under another name) expecting to be absolutely torn apart but instead I received nothing but kindness and support. I'm also part of an incredibly supportive parenting group that was established on Mumsnet. So I don't subscribe to the notion that it's an awful hellsite etc etc. However, the transphobia is horrendous (and yes, I do report it when I see it, but there's no way I'm subjecting myself to reading those godawful echo chamber threads in FWR to report all the transphobia) and I have been considering deleting my account recently.

The world has gone well and truly mad if "women don't have penises" is a unacceptably nasty thing to say!
I don't feel like mumsnet is nasty at all, but then again I'm not over sensitive or easily offended.

The transphobia is awful but the relationships board is generally really supportive, even if its tough love sometimes.

I can't believe that people hide the feminism boards, that's baffling, I've learnt so much from reading threads on there.

I'm also baffled that people don't seem to venture outside of AIBU, I look on lots of topics and see such compassion and support in say relationships. There are women in that topic saving women's lives, helping and giving them strength the leave their abusive and violent partners.