DP (not the father of my 2DSs) and I were abroad for a few weeks on a family matter and decided to go on a short break. While we were there, DS1 (23) called one evening for a chat about his housing situation. He tends to call once a week on average, usually during the period between getting home from work and eating dinner. He works long hours in London and tends to go to bed soon after eating due to getting up at stupid o'clock. He was aware that DP and I had gone abroad but not that we were on a short break.
This particular call came as DP and I were preparing our dinner. I had finished preparing the bits I was doing and DP was about to spend 5-10 minutes preparing his share. When my phone rang I said "Oh, it's DS1", looked at DP and went to another room. (DP does not like to have other people's telephone conversations inflicted on him.) The call lasted just over 11 minutes. 10 minutes into my conversation with DS, DP came into the room, clearly very unhappy, and told me the food I had started to prepare was burning, and his was nearly ready, and he didn't know what to do.
I told DS I had to go and went to rescue our dinner. DP and I then had a huge argument because:
a) I took the call at a time that was very inconvenient
b) I should have said: "Oh, it's DS1 – would you mind if I speak to him?" (In my world, looking at DP when taking the call was non-verbal communication for "Is that OK?")
c) DS1 is rude and inconsiderate for calling me while we are relaxing on a short break (DP claims his DCs would never intrude like this)
d) And anyway, he should not be calling while we are preparing dinner or eating
I am pleased that my son makes the effort to stay in touch and I would talk to him if I was half-way up a mountain. Agreed, calling during dinner time is not ideal but DS wasn't to know what we were doing when he called.
Bit more background: DP and I don't live together but I spend a lot of time at his house. He has complained about DS's rude behaviour on numerous occasions. I'm biased, of course, but consensus among my friends is that both my DSs are polite and well-adjusted young men.
So, AIBU or is DP overreacting? Thank you 