DH made a woman cry - wtf

[parkedonthestreet]

Cars park on our street and it's a free for all. We noticed a car parked behind ours with a flat tyre on friday. DH has been going on about it. Today as we were going to our car he saw a woman walking to it and said "oh is this yours? Thought it was abandoned." She looked startled and said no ... why. He said because it had a flat tyre and she said something like oh, it'll be ok. Dh repeated it'll be ok and laughed loudly. She looked uncomfortable, then started crying, got in it and drove off.

Hm, I always feel odd when parking in front of someone else's house and hope it's going to be ok.
From her perspective, she may have left a car with four intact tyres, only to come back to a car with a flat tyre and the person whose house it is "gleefully" pointing it out. Depending how he came across, I can see her thinking he may have had something to do with the flat tyre and feel intimidated.

It's pretty obnoxious how he intervened, would he have been the same with a man? But crying is a bit... pathetic, perhaps she's had a hard day I guess.

My DP would have helped as well.

she was probably having a bad day and it was the final straw. maybe she was down already, worried about the car - we dont know. i dont think he should've laughed at her, it would've put me on edge. the repeating not so much, but the laughing, yes :(

I had a flat tyre a while ago. I'm usually perfectly capable of changing a tyre but am awaiting back surgery so didn't feel able to. I'd've appreciated some support had I encountered your husband, rather than being belittled and laughed at. I waited 2 hours for the RAC (the RAC man was lovely).

Sounds like your husband wanted to boost his ego by making someone else feel small. Sadly by the sounds of things he picked out someone who was already having a horrible day. To be honest assuming he is in good health etc I would have thought that he would have offered to help her change it.

As so many others ahve said, what is your actual AIBU question?

If it is - was my H BU, then yes he was. He could have offered to help her, like my neighbour did me when my tyre was flat. I was very grateful.

Also, why did he feel the need to state that he thought it was abandoned? Had it been there for weeks gathering dust?

Your H sounds like a twat, being nasty when he could have asked her if she wanted help, which she may have been desperate for.

Your husband is a knob.

Wow. Can't believe he didn't offer a hand, but instead made a passive aggressive comment then laughed at her.

Bet he was the school bully.

What a horrible shit.

My husband's reaction to seeing someone with a flat tyre is always to offer help. He would certainly never behave like this towards a woman on her own, who he didn't know.
Mocking and laughing at her would have seemed aggressive to her and she probably cried because she was afraid. It's not like women are never murdered or maimed by aggressive men ffs.

My DH would definitely have helped (or I would have done). He definitely wouldn’t have laughed at her like a twat. I’ve had two flat tyres in my driving time and both times a random decent farmer has seen me brandishing the tyre jack, leapt from his tractor and done it for me - always much appreciated, even though I could have done it myself!

Your DH sounds like an extremely unpleasant person.

Your DH is not nice.

237 votes, are people just guessing what the AIBU is? (I did).

@aPengTing yep!

Op your DH sounds like an arsehole.

And I’m not entirely sure why you posted?

I voted YANBU, as I read it as you were thinking that your husband had been unreasonable. He was.

Sounds like he made fun of this woman. This was not necessary and not a “civic duty” as a previous poster has said.

I thought the AIBU was pretty much "I think my DH is a dick, AIBU?" and voted YANBU.

Did he feel bad after she started crying? If not, he sounds like he's on thee way to being an irredeemable cockhead. But only you know.

Your husband sounds awful. Belittling a woman in public must make him feel like a big man but to everyone else just makes him look like a complete twat. Hope you called him out on it OP. Sorry you're married to a knob.

He didn't make her cry.

She chose to turn the tears on over him pointing out a flat tyre. Which is fucking bizarre. She then drove off in a car that wasn't safe to.drive instead of dealing with the problem.

Would those defending the idiot have also defended her actions of their car had been involved in an accident with hers because of the choices she made ?? To top it all she's probably knackered her tyre.

I dont like being laughed at even in a friendly way its patronising-couldnt he have just offered some help maybe

I would have driven off on four flat tyres to avoid your intimidating husband

Bet your DH voted leave

ffs

Oh, it read to me like she was thinking her dh didn’t do anything wrong.

Hm, I always feel odd when parking in front of someone else's house and hope it's going to be ok.

Is this a UK thing? I'm in the US and I don't have a problem parking in front of someone else's home as long as I'm parking legally & not blocking anything. And I feel the same way about someone who parks in front of my house. No big deal. I wouldn't do it for days at a time, of course, but what's the big deal with parking for a few hours, or even the day, in front of someone's house?