AIBU to have red flags at this behaviour by DH

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

Dh been unemployed for 18 months. Finally today found out has got a 12 month contract, extremely well paid and is literally a godsend for our family. I have been working my nuts off full time to support us and today , DH asked me to finish on time (4pm) so we can celebrate . I am a nirse and its just not always possible to walk out the door on time . He has literally just phoned me from the pub down the road and had a go at me for finishing at 410pm and it was a test which i failed and i need to now prioritise him as he was the one who was going to be working super hard and my job is just not as important . I am so so angry . For background, he has been depressed this year and has hit the drink rather hard and he is now this week on a high understandbly . However , i cant just walk out when my colleagus need help . He never understands this . Sorry for typos , am cross . For the record we have had similar arguments about work ethic and team playing etc before . Someone chuck cold water on me please .
So AIBU to prioritise my patients and their care before leaving on time even tjough it upsets dh ?

Ten minutes isn’t the end of the world. He needs to get a grip.

He sounds thick as mince

Wow. Did he actually say that you need to prioritise him know? I'm not sure I could stay with someone who felt like that about me tbh

He’s punishing you for not immediately stepping back into your subordinate job now he has returned to the position of the great provider.

I’d be nervous about how where this is going.

Your job is one of the most important, he's being a git.

Haw fucking date he treat your job and role and contribution like it’s s piece of shut now that he’s not dependent on it. I’d say his attitude stinks and I’d find it hard to get past the lack of respect and narcissism in what he said.

Now not know argh

Obviously, YNBU

Thanks queen. I probably shouldn't start a thread when i am cross! My job is good enough to support the family when he cant get one, but now he has one he is giving me grief again. He does not understand about handovers and patients etc as he works in a non - vocational job. Am so blinking cross .!

Wow he sounds like a complete wankbadger! So you’ve been the sole earner and keeping the family afloat financially for months, and the minute he gets a job he starts to make demands. Of course. You can’t just leave your patients, he should be supporting you and thinking the sun shines out if your arse! CF !

Did he actually say it was a test?! That’s not on, playing mind games.

Tell him you hope it works out for him, on his way out.

What a self centred man. 10 minutes is nothing. Youre a nurse, he should understand its not a normal 9-5 when youre caring for people. You've got to give and take. Massive red flag. He should be grateful you've kept a job and been able to support you all financially.

''[he] had a go at me for finishing at 410pm and it was a test which i failed and i need to now prioritise him''

Anyone who carried out 'tests' on me and announced i'd passed or failed them would be out the door pronto. He'd find himself 'tested' on how quick he could pick all his clothes off the front lawn and fuck off .

Its not all about money- he will be getting 5 times more than me ( pharma contract) so it automativally entitles hin to speK to me like a twat. I am not having it - your quick responses have made me feel a bit better. No idea where this is going but i dont like it . I am getting more fed up at his unreasonalbe attitude with things . We had an issue with nipples in public too . Think i may have accidentally married donald trump s luttle brother

It's a 12 month contract and he's acting the big fucking I am?! Is he totally thick? And you've paid for everything and supported him through 18 months of unemployment? What a twat.

Nipples in public?! Please explain!

What an ungrateful twat. I'd be livid.
Point out that it is your 'unimportant' job that has kept you afloat for the last 18 months and it'll be your 'oh so umimportant' job that will need to be there in case another contract doesn't appear when this one ends.

Your job was pretty important when it was keeping a roof over his head! What a knob. He's got carried away with his new Terribly Important Job and thinks he's Billy Big Balls. He should be reminding you every day what an important job you do, for him and all the patients you treat. I think you need to tell him very clearly what an arse he's being.
I hope he is gracious when he is earning more than you? Because he sounds obnoxious at the moment.
You do a marvellous job and your husband should be proud of you x

Laiste that made me lol xx i have said to him before he is self centred - he won't have it. He ssud he is doing everything for us. I have a seminar day tomorrow that is important to my role and he is relling me to call sick...grr ! He has form for this - if u loved me you would prioritise your family above work ...only now its dispensable clearly

Ooooh.

So you failed a test?

That isn't even remotely funny, OP. It's quite frightening behaviour and I think you need to consider your next move very carefully.

Nipples?!

Whatever he earns OP your job as a nurse is far more important. My Dsis was a nurse and she never left work on time.

Do you have children together? How difficult would it be to leave him?

Cherry soup - it was a previous thread i posted about him tellong me to cover up my cold erect nipples in public because it made him uncomfortable. The mumsnet collective were awesome in support as you are all being now xx thank you all - am feeling validated already xx